Forever is Longer than it Seemed
by weedom
Summary: Bella's forever was a ripped apart when the real Edward came out. She can't leave him without hurting those that she loves most. Jasper has been pining after his mate, Bella. Renesmee is afraid to fully commit to Jacob after seeing how her mothers marriage has ended up despite how much she loves Jake. Nothing is how forever was supposed to be. Can it be fixed?
1. Chapter 1

Bella's POV

Fifty years. Fifty god forsaken miserable years. No, in all honesty I can't say all 50 of those years were miserable. At first life was beautiful. Oh god it was so beautiful. I was married to Edward and everything was perfect. Victoria was dead, the Voltori weren't able to hurt us and had left, I had my husband, I had my daughter, and I had my best friend. Life was beautiful. It changed slowly though. I guess to a vampire 50 years is quick just a blink of an eye but to me they have been slow and painful.

I was so happy when I was living with my family. We all enjoyed raising Renesmee but she grew up so fast. I miss my family so much that if I could cry I would every night. It started small. Edward wanted us to have time to ourselves after Renesmee grew up and went on her own with Jacob. He wanted to have time for just the two of us. I was so stupid. I was so excited at the prospect of it being just us that I agreed to it. We bought our own home and moved. The family was sad to see us leave but Edward assured them it was temporary that we just needed time has a couple, time has man and wife.

The first time he hit me I was shocked. He immediately crumbled at my feet and begged my forgiveness. He said that his vampire temper made him do it. By the time he removed one of my limbs for the first time I knew I deserved it. I am failure to him. I am not good enough for him and I can't seem to make him happy. I try every day to be better but I can't seem to be good enough. I hate him and I love him. I want to leave him and I want to stay with him forever. I want to kill him and I want to protect him.

"Bella?" Edwards shouts out into our home. I jump up and I frantically check my appearance in the mirror. He likes me to look put together. He lays my clothing out every morning for me. This morning he laid out a skirt that stopped at my knees and a silk shirt. Anytime we go out he expects me to fully cover up but at home I can wear short sleeves. I push the wrinkles out of the skirt and I run to the door to meet him. "Yes darling?" I say to him, making sure not to look him in the eyes until I know what kind of mood he is in.

He leans down and kisses my forehead, I am glad I have the strength not to shudder. "I have dinner for you. I'll go prepare it." He says has he whisks past me to the kitchen. He insists of me staying has lady like has possible. I am not to hunt anymore. He brings me home squirrels and rabbits and he drains them into a cup and has me drink them properly. I am always so hungry but he says it's good for my will to not over indulge in blood. It has been a week since I have had even a sip of blood and I can feel myself getting worked up into a frenzy at the smell of it wafting from the kitchen. He comes back with a cup not nearly filled enough with blood and hands it to me.

I drink quickly and greedily. When it's done I can't stop myself and I try to lick the inside of the cup. I can't get to it. I reach my hand into the cup to get the last remaining drops and crack. The cup shatters. It's all too fast and I don't have time to brace myself. He smacks me across my face and I go flying backwards and land on the ground. I know better than to fight him. "What the fuck Bella! You know to act better than that. You are acting no better than a rabid dog. I don't want to do this but I have to." He grabs my hand and rips it off. The pain is immense. "You will get this back when you can control yourself."

Edwards jumps up and leaves me lying on the floor. I cradle the stub where my hand used to be to my chest. He's right I acted totally out of line. I should be able to restrain myself from breaking cups to get blood but I am just so hungry. I slowly stand up and I look in the mirror. I have a crack across my check. I can't heal that well anymore. The crack should fade in a few days.

I don't whimper or cry out despite the pain rolling off the stump of my wrist. The pain is begging me to search for my hand and reattach it. I know from experience that after a few hours it will fade slightly and be more bearable.

Edward is on the couch watching tv when I finally get up the nerve to go into the living room. He expects me to sit there with him. "Bella I hate having to do this to you but I don't know any other way to train you. Now come here." I quickly move to him obediently and I curl up next to him. He puts his arm around me and pulls my head to his chest.

I try to distract myself. It's the only way to not start shaking when he's holding me like this. I think of my daughter and Jacob and how happy they are together. They have been traveling around the America's with Jake's pack. They should be coming to visit us soon. I think of my family. Esme and Carlisle call me all the time trying to get us to come back home. Every time they call I have to work extra hard to stay strong. I want nothing more than to run back to them but Edward insists that we need our privacy. I miss Emmett so much sometimes I think it will kill me. He is my brother and I wish I had him with me. He would protect me from the monster I am married to. NO BELLA! Stop it he is not a monster he is your husband. You have to put up with it because there is no other way. God I wish I was mortal I could just die like everyone else. I even miss Rosalie. We had gotten close when I was pregnant and I miss her. Jasper writes me letters sometimes. He is old fashioned like that and we correspond through letters. They are the highlight of my day when I get one. Alice is the only one who comes to visit. The first time he hit me she called right away. I didn't know what he said to her but she never told anyone. She finally came to visit.

_"Bella!" Alice screamed has she held me. I looked at Edward for permission to hug her back. He nodded and I held her closely to me. I chocked on my tears and just hoped that Edward didn't notice. He knows about my shield and I pretend that I can't lift it for him to get into my thoughts but I could if I wanted too. I don't tell him about my other ability though. I can talk to people in my mind but the conversation is thankfully shielded from him. Only Renesmee, Jacob, and Alice know about it. "Alice I need to be with you alone." I say to her in my mind and she nods at me and looks at Edward. "I have some new clothes for her can we go up to her room and try them on?" She asks him casually. _

_ "That is fine. I hope you picked her up some sexy lingerie because most of her pieces are destroyed." He says with a smirk but I cringe. I hate dressing up for him at night. Alice grabs my hand and I follow her upstairs. We start to pull out clothes and I pretend we are having a good time but once he leaves to go hunting I collapse on her. "Alice!" I whimper to her._

_ "Bella I am so sorry. I know what he does to you and it's not right." I shake my head no. "Bella it is not right. I wish I could tell Esme and Carlisle but my hands are tied." I am confused. What is keeping her quiet?_

_ "Alice are you alright?" I ask her. I know what he can do and I am afraid for her._

_ She looks around nervously. "He is blackmailing me Bella. I want to tell someone so badly but the moment I called you when I saw him hit you he picked up. He knows about my mate Bella. He threatened to kill his ancestors so he could never be born. I don't know what to do." She cries to me._

_ "Don't you dare risk your mate Alice! You keep him safe and you don't whisper a word about this to anybody. I am fine, honestly." I lie through my teeth._

_ "You're not Bella. I see it every time he makes the decision to hurt you. I see every time he hits you, every time he removes a limb, every time he marks you. It's no alright. There has to be something I can do!"_

_ I shake my head no furiously with has much vampire speed has I can muster up with my lack of substance. "You will not risk your mate do you hear me. You will keep quiet and live your life."_

_ "Bella he doesn't even feed you enough. You are getting weak. We need to find away to get you help." _

_ "Not a word Alice. He has threatened to kill Jacob if I ever leave him. It is fine. I will be fine. Please just don't worry about it. Now tell me about your mate." I tell her trying to sound excited. I can't risk my daughter's man for my happiness either._

Alice hasn't visited in a few years now I miss her. We talk on the phone all the time and I try to sound happy and upbeat and she tries to pretend I am but when Edward isn't around I break down with her.

I think if I could just get us back to our family things would be better. He wouldn't be the only one trying to control me and they could help. He wouldn't be so stressed. I don't think I am that out of control but I did break a glass tonight so maybe he has a point.

"Bella it's time for bed." I must have been thinking more than I thought because I look at the clock and it's almost midnight. We don't need to sleep but he still expects me to perform my wifely duties every night. I don't put up a struggle but I don't pretend to be happy either. I just stand up and I follow him to our bedroom.

Edward is going through my closet and he pulls out a piece of lingerie and hands it to me. "This should look nice." He says coldly. He leaves the room and I know he expects me to be ready by the time he comes back. I fumble through changing. It's difficult with one hand but I manage. I look at myself in the mirror. I don't recognize myself anymore. 50 years has changed me more than I thought.

He comes into the room and I move to the bed and lay down. I know it's better not to struggle. Sometimes he forces me to act like I am enjoying it. I really hope this isn't one of those nights. I don't have it in me to pretend, not with the pain in my arm.

"You're so beautiful Bella, and you're all mine." He says in to my ear has he covers my body with his. I do believe that he thinks I am beautiful, why else would he keep me around. He could kill me at any time.

"Yes Edward, I am all yours." I respond to him knowing it will make him happy. Maybe he will even give me my hand back if I am nice enough. He doesn't bother with foreplay, he doesn't care about how I feel, he just plunges into me. I try not to wince has he pounds into me. I just go somewhere else. It's the best way to get through this.

Jasper wrote to me today. He wrote to me about a new book he had read and some new music he has found. I try to remember the title of the book but I can't seem to get my mind to focus on it, Edward is being rougher than normal. He keeps pounding into me and I can feel my body cracking beneath him. I don't know how much more I can take. I need him to finish and let me heal. I need him to let me drink enough blood to heal. I do the only think I can think of. "Please love, I can't hold on much more." I say to him hoping he buys it. Hoping he thinks I am actually enjoying this and need him to finish with me. With one final thrust he finishes and collapses on me.

My venom is trying to put myself back together but the damage is too severe. My vagina is burning in pain but I keep quiet. If he thinks for even a moment I didn't enjoy myself he will go at it again until I do, or at least until I pretend I do. "That was amazing Edward." I say to him trying to sound like I am in the aftershock of an orgasm instead of in intense pain.

He doesn't say anything he just grunts and rolls of me. He pulls me to him and lays their quietly. I wish I could pretend to sleep but he knows we don't. I lay there just hoping he won't want me again tonight. I don't know if I can handle it again. He once almost ripped me in half. He stopped once he realized he was for all intensive purposes fucking my belly button. He made me finish him with my mouth while my body healed. It took me a week to fully be healed but that didn't stop him the next night. I wish I was mortal. I wish I could die.


	2. Chapter 2

Jasper's POV

52 years of what if's. It sucks and Alice tries to reassure me that I can still be happy but I'm not dumb enough to actually believe it. She tells me that I will find happiness. She can't tell me if she sees it she just says that she knows I will be happy.

Alice and I had a marriage ceremony decades ago to make the Cullen's happy. They never really understood Alice's and I relationship. We were best friends and the occasional lovers. We know we aren't mates but we are best friends and neither of us have found anyone else and we enjoy being together. We had a big marriage that Alice planned out perfectly but we never actually sent in any licenses or officiated anything. Both of us agreed we only ever wanted to marry our true mates but Esme and Carlisle felt better thinking we were married so we faked it. They weren't judgmental and didn't to force us to do anything we didn't want to but we both knew it's what they wanted. They didn't like us having casual sex without any kind of commitment. So we did a white lie to keep them happy, their our parents so we would do anything to keep them happy. I remember the day that Alice came to me to tell me she saw my mate.

_I'm reading one of my favorite books in my room, Gods and Generals, it's a decent Civil War book that I can respect. Alice lets me have my own corner in our room that is me and I let her do whatever she wants in the rest of the room. She has such strong opinions on style that I just let her do what she wants. All I need is my leather reading chair, a few book cases, and a window. _

_ Alice comes dancing into the room and jumps into my lap. "Guess what I saw today Jasper dear?" She asks me playfully. I put down my book and laugh. "I don't know umm you saw who won the super bowl."_

_ She playfully hits my chest. "No Jasper, I saw your mate!" She says with excitement. She must be able to tell I am in shock because she has rendered me speechless and my mouth is gapping open. "Her parents got pregnant and they decided to keep her! I can see things about her, it's a bit hazy but I can see her Jasper. She is wonderful!" She pulls out a drawing from her pocket and gives it me._

_ I look at my mates face, she's beautiful. Alice drew in colored pencil for me. She has beautiful, long ,flowing brown hair. Her eyes are big and brown. People would say she is doe eyed. The picture that Alice drew she is looking off to the side with a secret smile on her face like I made her laugh. "This is her?" I ask Alice with excitement. I know I am projecting but I can't stop._

_ "Yes!" She screams. "She is beautiful isn't she? She is funny and sweet. You are going to love her and I am going to be friends with her. She is special honey." She says nuzzling into me has we look at the picture more._

_ "What's her name?" I ask her._

_ "Isabella Swan, but she likes to be called Bella." I think the name over in my mind. Bella, Bella, my mates name is Bella. _

Alice and I used to depend way too much on her visions but we forget that with humans they are sometimes inaccurate by days, months, even years. For things like stocks they always worked out. Her visions have helped me turn my small fortune into a huge fortune that I could never spend it all even if I wanted to. She's done the same for all of us and I think that's part of the part of the reason we put so much faith in what she sees. With vampires they are usually accurate to the minute has long has their decisions don't change, but not so with humans. We weren't actually married so we never had to worry about meeting out future mates but we still kept the façade of being together. I made Alice swear not to let anyone know about Bella. I wanted her to be my secret until I got to meet her first. Alice and I had long ago figured out how to avoid Edward's gift. Being a vampire is good because we can think on numerous tracks at once. So we think of multiple things at once and if we keep our real thoughts covered by other thoughts.

The day I first met Bella we didn't know she was coming that day. We thought we had longer. Alice had seen her coming to Forks and helped convince the family to move there. Alice thought that her were going to wait to send her to Forks the beginning of her senior year. I don't know what changed. Alice thinks that Bella forced her mom to let her go so that her mom could start her life with her husband. That's just like my mate to worry about everyone else's feelings before her own. Alice and I walked into the cafeteria with my arm around her shoulder and I stopped dead in my tracks. Bella was sitting in the cafeteria not 15 feet from me. My mate, my future wife, my everything is in the room with me. I could read her emotions and they captivated me. They were so complex and pure.

I didn't notice fast enough that Edward had stopped too and to my dismay my Bella isn't looking at me she is looking at Edward. When she glances over me she is filled with subconscious lust and longing but the moment she sees Alice it get's cut off then she moves to Edward and lust pours out of her. In that one moment I lost her. I lost my mate to Edward.

Edward was overcome by her, she is his singer. I help convince him to go to Alaska. I was petrified that he will drain and kill her. I had met my singer years ago and I couldn't stop. I drained her without even thinking. Luckily Edward has been off human blood long enough not to kill my mate. He left. Alice and I separated and I tried to get Bella's attention but she was completely mesmerized by Edward. If we had known that she would be there that day and Alice and I hadn't come walking into the room like a couple I would have had her. She looked at me first and felt for me first but she is good person. Most people would see a man they like with a woman and figure out a way to steal him. Not my mate, no, she is a good person and the moment she saw me with someone she stopped those feelings.

The few days I spent with her in Phoenix were the best days of my life. I loved her so much and I wanted to tell her that Edward was wrong for her I was the one for her. She felt for me there. Her mating pull was activated and I could feel it but she still loved Edward. Alice said that Bella thought it was my gift keeping her calm and helping her sleep but I wasn't trying to manipulate her. I love her emotions and I love feeling them. She was calmed because she was near me and she subconsciously knew I would keep her safe.

I have had to watch her change herself for a man that refuses to change for her. A true mate would become whatever their mate needed, a true mate would never have been able to leave their mate behind or hurt them like Edward did when he left her. Once he came back I had to watch her shed layers of herself and redress in what Edward wanted. I had to watch her marry him knowing that it should have been me. I had to watch her have a child with him wish it was mine and ultimately I had to watch her leave with him.

I stayed in Forks after the family left, I couldn't leave. Alice helped my convince my family that I was staying with Peter and Charlotte but in reality I was outside her window every night. I kept my distance so that she wouldn't know I was there, I was worried she hated me. Alice helped me come up with a plan to get Bella back. If I could be the one to change her, the pull to me has her sire would help her realize that I was her mate. So she planned the entire birthday party. It would look like I a snapped from bloodlust and tried to drain her but Alice would pull me away once enough of my venom was in her. Emmett ruined the plan but grabbing me first. Edward told me that she hated me for trying to kill her so I stayed away but I had to make sure she was safe. I found out later that Edward lied about that.

Alice says that Bella feels empty with Edward. She says that feels the mating pull and the pain in her chest but that she thinks it's just her missing her family. I have never told her how I feel and I have never allowed Edward to ever even get wind of the truth. If he knew he would make sure that I never saw her again and he would tell her horrible lies about me.

I am glad that I am in a family with her. I love her and it helps the pain to be with her but Edward took her way from me and the pain is almost unbearable. Alice tries to keep my distracted but there is only much she can do. Esme and Rose have noticed a change in me and they try to get me to tell them what's wrong but I shake them off. Emmett knows something is wrong and he thinks I miss Bella like a sister. They are so close and I can feel their pull to each other. It's not a mated match but they are soul mates in a way, a platonic way but they still are. They feel unconditional love for each other much like a mother and a child would. He thinks he understands why I am sad thinking I miss my sister, no he is wrong. I miss my mate who I can't have.

I once asked Carlisle if it is possible for a mated pair to never be together. He was very quiet for a while and I thought he wasn't going to answer me or he didn't know the answer then he looked at me sadly.

_ "It is possible but rare. I have known of a few instances. One instance was two men that were a mated pair. They were from a different era and refused to accept that they were into to each other. It was too painful for them to be apart so they stayed together. They married two sisters and they love their wives but they love each other more but refuse to ever be mated."_

_ "Dad that's not what I mean. Is it possible for a mated pair to have one mate know it and the other one never accept it."_

_ Carlisle shakes his head sadly at me. "That I am not sure about son. I know of pairs that one knew decades before the other one but they always ended up together in the end. Maybe one of the pair was married or to consumed with blood lust to accept their mate. They said they always felt the pull but were confused by it until their minds were able to accept it. It's rare and most vampires recognize it right away but there are mental blocks that can stop instinct. Think of us, our instinct is to kill humans but we go against them to drink animals. It keeps us feed and happy but we all still feel the longing for human blood. It's like that. They are happy but they feel a lost part of them they can't fill until they accept it."_

That didn't help me. Bella is stubborn has a mule when she has her mind set on something and she will never accept me. She is happily married with the love of her live and I sit back and try to be happy for her. I don't know what was worst her here with him and happy or her gone for me and not being able to see her. Both suck. Sometimes I wish I were mortal and could just die from it all.

"Jasper! Don't you dare do that!" Alice screams angrily at me has she runs into my room. We stopped faking our marriage and told our family that we are broken up now. We use the rouse the Alice has seen her mate but it's because it's too painful for me to be in a relationship since I have mated with Bella. I need to just be left alone.

"I wasn't going to do anything, I just thought it for a moment." I explain to her. I don't have anything to be ashamed of cause I would never actually off myself.

"Well I saw it and you thought about it decided it. I told you that everything will work out some day just believe me." She begs me. She plops down at my feet and rests her head on my knees. I fold the letter I was writing and tuck into the envelope but Alice grabs it before I can seal it. "Jasper you need to scent it first. It makes her happy to smell you she just doesn't know why." She grabs the letter and wipes it over me. It sounds absurd but Alice has insisted on me doing this on all of my letters that I send to her. I want to be different from the rest of the family. I want me contacting her to be something special. I think she enjoys it because she always sends me letters back. And her scent coming off of them bring me the only calm and happiness I ever get.

"Tell me something happy pixie." I ask her hoping she can make me think of anything but Bella.

"My mates 5th birthday is today. His parents had a big party for him and I managed to send a petting zoo to the party. They think that they won it from his day care but I sent it to him." That thought makes me smile. She always finds a way to send him things. "I also send him a toy train set. I made it look like the senders name got water on it and it washed out."

I pet her head for a moment and she sighs. "I think he will like it." She smiles and looks up at me. "I know he does, I have seen him playing with it."

Alice's eyes go blank for a moment and I wait until they focus back on me. She gives me a big smile. "Bella and Edward are going to be coming back soon. Renesmee is going to convince them to come home." She sounds and looks happy but I can feel sadness underneath of the happiness. She always gets sad when she talks about Bella, I know it's because she feels bad that Bella is happily married and I am so miserably alone.


	3. Chapter 3

Bella's POV

"Mom I'm home!" Renesme yells at me from the front door has her and Jacob come into the house. I run down the stairs and pull me daughter into a strong hug. "Oh my baby I have missed you so much." I whisper at her has venom fills me eyes.

"Mom, I'm not a baby but I missed you too." Renesmee likes to joke with me that she is older than me in human years and therefore can't be a baby but she knows that I will never look at her has anything but my baby girl.

I let go of my daughter and give Jacob a big hug. "Jacob it is so great to see you." I say to him. I am really happy he is here. He has always been my best friend and I feel better already knowing he is in the house. He gives me a peck on the check. "I've missed you Bells. You and Edward really should have come and visited us while we were in Chile. Renesmee loved how the horses down their tasted." He said winking at her. She lightly hits his arm and he pretends to be hurt.

They both have mating scars on their necks. When one of our kind finds their mate they mark them on the left side of their neck where the neck meets the shoulder. Renesmee was so worried that her and Jacob wouldn't be able to mark each other but they were able too. It makes me feel a tinge of pain in my heart to see them. Any time Edward attacks me I turn my head to the left to only expose my right side. I don't want him putting the mate mark on me. That spot is reserved for my mate that I will never find. I love Edward but I know he's not my mate. A mate could never leave their mate behind. They could never hurt their mate. They would curl up and die if their mate died. If he died I would be sad to lose the father of my child but I would move on. I can accept that now. My right side is riddled in bite marks. I try to cover it with scarves and turtle necks but every time I look in the mirror after a shower I have to look at the mangled mess that used to be the right side of my neck. I shake off the feelings and wrap myself in the happiness of having my daughter and best friend in the house.

I grab both their hands and drag them into the kitchen. Renesmee had called me yesterday and told me she was coming. She said that she wanted to eat human food that night because she missed my cooking. She requested lasagna and garlic bread. "Mom it smells so good! We are starving!" I hear Jacob's stomach growl and I let out a chuckle.

"You two take a seat; I'll bring you both a plate." They sit down at the table and I take the lasagna out of the oven. I still am not used to the fact that I won't get burned so I used oven mitts out of habit. I plate them both a big serving of lasagna and put them in front of them. I put the garlic bread on the table between them.

"Where is dad?" Renesmee asks me with a hint of anger mixed in the questions. Her and Jacob suspect something isn't right at home but neither truly know what's going on. I try not to fidget due to her question. The longer I go without enough blood the more human my responses have become. "Oh dad is just working. He will be home soon." Edward wanted to use one of his many degrees and has a therapist practice set up in town. He is quite popular and always busy.

They continue to eat and I look at the time nervously. I was hoping they would be done by now so I could clean up the food and try to erase the scent of garlic in the home, Edward hates smelling garlic in the house.

"BELLA! What the fuck is the god awful stench!" He yells at me. The sound starts at the front door and ends in front of my face. His hand is raised in anger but before he hits me he notices Renesmee and Jacob sitting at the table, the garlic must have cancelled out their smells. He quickly drops his hand but not before Jacob pushes back from the table.

_Sit down Jacob. Pretend you are fine. Act calm and keep Renesmee safe._ I say to him using my gift. _Was he going to hit you?_ He asks me. I refuse to respond and put a hand on Edward's shoulder. "Dear, Renesmee and Jacob are home and she wanted to eat human food tonight."

Edward walks to our daughter and for a moment I tense up. He has never hurt her but my biggest fear is that I would do something to anger him enough to hurt my baby. He has used the threat of hurting and killing Jacob to keep me in line though. He leans down and kisses her forehead. "I have missed you so much honey. If you don't mind your mom and I are going to go on a quick hunt until the smell of garlic is out of the house." He looks over at Jacob, I know he never warmed to him but puts up with him for Renesmee's sake.

He grabs my hand and we fly out of the house. I have a hard time keeping up with him. I am not nearly feed enough to be has strong or has fast has him. We stop in a meadow and he slaps me furiously across the cheek. I feel my cheek crack. I bring my recently reattached hand up to my cheek in response. "I am sorry about the smell Edward. You know how much I love to cook for our daughter and she asked for garlic bread."

"You should be more concerned about making me happy than making our daughter happy. Stay here and don't move." He commands me. I stand has still has a statue. He is only gone for a few moments and he comes back into the clearing carrying a dead stag. The smell of blood makes me weak in the knees and I step forward just a centimeter wanting it. Edwards runs over to me and rips off one of my legs. "I told you not to move. Now stay here until I am done and I will get you something." I fall down onto the ground clutching the top of my thigh were my leg used to be. I shouldn't have moved. If I didn't move he wouldn't have had to take off my leg. I try not to whimper and I wait motionless and soundless until he is done.

Once he is done the throws the stag carcass to the side and climbs up a tree and comes back down with an owl. He snaps it's neck and gives it me to drink. It's not enough but it's something. I drink it greedily until every drop is out of the owl. I know better than to ask for more. The crack on my cheek starts to heal and venom starts to pool at the base of my stump where my leg has been ripped off.

He leans down next to me and kisses me roughly, forcing entry into my mouth. He likes to fuck me once he's hunted, it makes him feel more like a complete he says. I moan in pain from the movement of my leg but he thinks I am moaning for him, thank god. He rips my clothes off and buries himself in my quickly and roughly. I try not to move, he told me not too. Once he is done he takes off his shirt and puts it on me. "No one gets to see you naked but me." He says possessively. I shake my head yes and he puts my leg back on. "I didn't want to do that honey but you made me. Now let's get home and get you dressed."

I try to stand up but my leg is still to wobbly to stand and he carries me while my leg reattaches itself. I am lucky he let me eat tonight or I don't know it would have attached so fast. He puts me down on the bed and pulls out a new outfit for me. He hands me a brown turtleneck sweater and a pair of khaki pants. "Get dressed, I'll see you downstairs."

While I'm changing my phone vibrates and I pick it up quickly hoping Edward didn't hear it. It's Alice. "Bella are you ok? I saw what happened." She says panic stricken into the phone.

"I am fine Alice, I shouldn't have cooked garlic in the house I know better." I say defeated into the phone, I do know better.

"That is bullshit Bella. He has no right to hurt you. I am going to tell Carlisle and he will figure out something to do."

"Don't you dare tell anyone Alice! I will not have you risk your mate and I will not risk Jacob. You knowing is already almost too much for me to handle. Please just don't tell anyone." I beg her.

"Bella he ripped off your leg and rapped you in the middle of the forest. That is not alright you need help. Please let me get you help." She says quietly trying to convince me.

"I will not let you risk them Alice. Now please just pretend you never saw it. I love you Alice." I say has I hang up the phone.

"BELLA! You coming down soon?" Edward yells up the stairs. I quickly drop my phone and race downstairs to be by my husband's side. I kiss his cheek. "Sorry darling Alice called about a dress she saw and thought I would like."

Edward smiles at me. "That's nice dear. We thought about sitting down and watching some TV why don't you join us?" I smile at him the best I can. "I will be there in a moment I just want to clean up the kitchen."

"Good idea." He says sweetly and is gone in a flash to the living room. How can he be so nice and sweet one moment and so cruel the next? Everyone once in a while I get a glimpse of the man I feel in love, the man I thought married. It makes it harder when the monster comes out. I go into the kitchen and put everything into the dishwasher then I pull out my mail to go through it. The last thing in the pile is a letter from Jasper. My head starts to spin with excitement. This is the best part of my day. I felt bad for him when Alice and he divorced. I know that they weren't mates and that Alice had finally seen hers but he deserves someone to love and take care of him.

I open the envelope slowly letting the anticipation build. His scent flows out of the envelope and I feel my body relax, it smells like home. I miss my family so much. I pull it out slowly and look over the letter. His scrawling penmanship is so recognizable to me and has become synonymous with comfort.

_Dear Bella,_

_ I hope all is well in Wyoming we all miss you very much here in New York. I hope that you guys can come visit us and soon! Emmett has been getting grumpier by the day that you guys don't come back and Rosalie just about had a complete fit when you guys missed her birthday again._

_ Renesmee and Jacob were here last week. They had us all in stitches with tales from their travels. They are quite the pair. Seth has been traveling with them but is going back to Forks to spend some time with Leah. Apparently she is pregnant again!_

_ I really miss you. Please come home soon._

_Love,_

_Jasper_

That's wonderful about Leah. She has imprinted about 8 years ago and stopped phasing. She married her soul mate and they started a family together. I think they have 2 well I guess soon to be 3 kids now. I think she wants her own litter of pups. Oh gosh those vampires have worn off on me.

I scoop out two bowls of ice cream and carry them into the living room and give one to Renesmee and one to Jacob. They smile at me and dig in. I sit down on the couch next to Edward and he pulls me into him. I don't understand why he wants me near him like this when I am such a failure to him. I slowly force myself to relax. He kisses the top of my head and traces invisible patterns on my back with his finger tips.

Before Jacob and Renesmee retire she sends me a message. _Mom I want to talk to dad about bringing you both back to the family._ I nod to her and she gets up and sits down next to her father.

"Daddy" she starts, she always calls him daddy when she wants something from him and he knows it. He lets out a smirk. "I was visiting grandpa and grammy last week and they really want you guys to come home. You have been on your own for 35 years now and they miss you both terribly. Do you think that maybe we could all go visit them together?" She pouts at him.

I can see the wheels turning in Edward's mind. He is thinking about it, and seriously for the first time in a long time. He looks at me and I keep my face blank. I don't know if he would get mad at me for telling him I want to go. "Alright honey we will go. We can all go together next week."

The pain in my chest starts to loosen just a bit. In a week I will be back with my family. I smile at him and I give him a soft kiss. "Thank you honey." I whisper to him. He smiles at me and kisses me back.

Renesmee gives Edward a big hug. "This is great daddy! Gramps and Grammy are going to be so happy!" She screams has she grabs her phone to dial our family. For the first time in 35 years I am excited for tomorrow.

Edward stands up and grabs my hand pulls me upstairs. I was hoping that after his display in the woods he wouldn't want anything else from me tonight. "So are you happy darling?" He asks me.

I feel like this has to be a trick a question. I don't know how to answer this. "Edward you know I am happy if you are happy."

He seems to like that response and smiles at me. "Yes, I think I will be excited to see them again. Esme has been calling me nonstop for years to get us back home but I wanted us to have time just for us. We deserved some uninterrupted time together after we got married." He says making his way over to me. He kisses me softly. Maybe tonight won't be so bad, he's kissing me like he used to.

"Yes it has been wonderful having time for just us." I say lying through my teeth. "But Esme has been missing us terribly and it will put her at ease knowing that we are coming back to the family." Edward stops trailing kisses down the right side of my neck and he grabs my face roughly to look at him.

"We aren't joining them permanently again. We are going to visit. I like having you all to myself and I don't want to share you yet. We will visit them for awhile then come back home. I still want a few more decades of your undivided attention darling. Esme is your mother and like all mothers they have to say good bye to their children one day like you have done to Renesmee. You would never dream of forcing her to stay with us would you?" He says with anger creeping into his voice.

I have to act fast. I quickly kiss him has passionately has I can. I think of how I felt for him when I first meet him and I was human and I push that into my kiss. "Of course not darling. And you know that Esme just wants us to be happy. I want you to have all of me to darling, and I think that just a visit would be fine too until we are ready to be back with them. I think if you explain that to Esme that she needs to accept that her children are ready to live on their own that she will understand that. Maybe we could come to comprise with her and just live in the same town has them or something." He seems to relax and I don't think he is going to get angry again.

"Come on darling lets go to bed." I say to him has I pull him to the bed with me. I need him to keep distracted and not get angry at me again tonight. I can't let him hurt me because I won't be able to heal by tomorrow and I can't risk my baby finding out about the monster that hides in my husband.


	4. Chapter 4

Alice's POV

I never saw this coming. This whole mess is just too big for me to unravel. Jasper doesn't have his mate, Bella is getting beaten by her husband, and they don't even live with us anymore. I have become too dependent on my visions and didn't realize at the time their limitations quite so much has I do now. When it comes to humans they are scattered and when it comes to vampires it depends on their decisions at that moment. Jasper tries to reassure me that there was no way for me to see this mess but I feel like it's my fault. I want him to be happy and I want Bella to be happy. If I ever get the chance to I will kill Edward and fix it.

Edward is scarier and more dangerous than I ever could have imagined. It sucks being a vampire sometimes; I can recall everything like it was just a second ago.

_I went still and I saw it. Edward smacked Bella across the face and the force of her threw her across the room. He leaped over and bit into her collarbone rendering her effectively defeated. Once I was able to move again I stumbled, I can't believe I am actually stumbling. Jasper grabs my arm. "Alice are you alright?" He asks me. I shake him off and go into my room._

_ I pick up my phone and speed dial Bella. The moment I hit dial the vision hit that Edward is going to pick up. I want to hang up but I need to know what is going on. "What do you want Alice?" He growls into the phone._

_ "I need to talk to Bella, now!" I yell into the phone._

_ "You listen to me Alice, Bella is my wife and what happens in our life doesn't concern you at all." I try to protest but he cuts me off. "If you even utter a word about this to anyone I will find your mates parents and rip them to shreds. Then I will kill every single one of relatives. You will never get him. Look into your visions, you will see I will do it."_

_ My mind gets overwhelmed with Edwards's decision to kill them. He brutally rips my mate's parents apart even though they are only children right now. I then see him killing everyone that is related to him down to his third cousins. I don't see myself being able to stop it even with my family's help. I can't keep him from doing this. "Please let me talk to Bella." I say into the phone._

_ "Alice?" She cries into the phone. "Bella are you alright?" I ask her._

_ It's quiet for quite a while then she speaks. "I am fine Alice. I made a mistake and everything is fine here. Please don't tell anyone about this."_

It's selfish of me not to get Bella help but I am so afraid of losing my mate. It's the most horrible thing I have ever done. I should tell someone and I should save her but I can't. I have to wait until my mate is changed and strong. I play with my visions all the time. I try to see what would happen based off different decisions but they all end same. My mate dies and sometimes Jacob, Jasper, or Bella dies too. I will keep trying though and someday I will find the answer and I will save my best friend. Why was I stupid enough to trust Edward? I never should have allowed him to see my mate. If I was smarter and knew what he would turn into I would have hidden my mate from him. How could I have known what he truly was though? He hid this part of him so well, or maybe it was that he never had a woman in his life that he thought he could control.

I'm to busy trying out different paths and seeing where the visions take me that I don't notice Jasper is in my room until he is sitting next to me. I shake out of my visions and I try to shake off the feeling of despair and anger, it's really hard to hide things from an empath. "Alice!" He says to me pouring happiness out of him.

I can't help but smile. I haven't felt him happy like this in a long time. Even when he gets a letter from Bella he doesn't feel this happy. "Bella is coming home Alice! She is going to be here tonight!" He is practically jumping out of his skin and before I know it I am jumping up and down with him.

"That is great Jasper!" I say to him, and then the dark cloud comes over my happiness, a vision. Jasper stops and I try to block my feelings from him but I'm not fast enough for him. "What is it?" He asks me.

"They are only going to be here for a short time. At most two months then they are going back to their home in Wyoming." He can't keep his emotions in check. I can feel his heart breaking the pain of it cripples me and I slump over. I grab his hand. "Jasper I need you to stop projecting." It takes him a minute then he pulls his emotion back and he holds me. How does he survive feeling that?

"I am so sorry. I couldn't control it fast enough." He says pitifully. I wish I could tell him that they are back with us forever. I wish I could tell him what Edward is doing to her. Every time I do in my visions he tries to save her. But every time Edward kills Bella saying that if he can't have her no one else can. That is worse for him than this. A vampire losing his mate is the worst possible thing that could happen to one of us.

I give Jasper a comforting hug. "It's alright Jasper, I know it's hard. When she gets here just be as nice and kind has possible to her. She misses her family so much. Please just give her as much love has possible without Edward finding out." He shakes his head in agreement. He can give her a few weeks of happiness and hopefully it will help her realize how horrible Edward is. She still loves him in a sick way. She wants to make it work and she actually believes that it's her fault that he hurts her.

He actually lowers his head and leaves my room looking sad. I feel like I kicked a puppy. I sit back down on a chair and play with me visions again. Now that she is coming maybe something has changed.

Esme's POV

I have missed my daughter so much! She is a burst of sunshine in our lives and I can't wait for her to come home! She has been gone for so long. Carlisle has explained to me that 35 years isn't a long time to a vampire and I need to allow the newlyweds time alone but I miss her so much. I just want my baby back home.

Renesmee promised to help convince them to come home, and apparently she did because they are coming! They are going to be here in a few hours. I have their room already for them. It is very French country. I have a four poster antique washed white bed with a chaise lounge. I filled the bookcases with all of Bella's favorite books and Edwards's favorite music. I just want everything to be perfect for them so that they want to stay with us.

"Sweet heart, the room is perfect stop trying to redecorate it." Carlisle says has he comes behind me and gives me a hug. I turn my head around and kiss him. He leans down and kisses my mating scar and I want to turn around and kiss his matching scar.

"I know it is but I am so nervous honey. What if they leave again?" I don't want my baby being taken from me again. Carlisle smiles and kisses my shoulder. "Honey if they do you have to be alright with it. They are newlyweds and just want time together."

I whip around. "Carlisle they have had 35 years together and I want my children back. So I won't be alright. Emmett and Rose never found the need to leave for longer than a few months." I whine at him.

He chuckles again. "Honey Bella and Edward are much more private than Rose and Emmett. They just want time. Please honey don't push them." I know he is right. If I push them I might lose them all together.

The front door opens. "THEY ARE HERE!" I shout happily and run down the stairs. Edward comes in first holding two suitcases. I run over to him and give him a big hug. "Honey I have missed you so much." I look behind him and Bella steps out of the shadows. Nothing could have prepared me for how she looked.


	5. Chapter 5

Jaspers POV

She's here. I could feel the change a few miles out. The pain in my chest stopped aching so much. I feel pathetic sometimes. I am one of the most feared vampires in the world and I used to make my enemies cower in front of me but now I am like a giddy child at the thought of her coming back. If Maria could see me now she would mock me endlessly.

I hear Esme hugging them and welcoming them home. I want to see Bella so badly but I'm afraid if I do I won't be able to stop myself from marking her has mine. I had to fight that urge everyday when they still lived with us and it's been awhile since I've kept it in check.

"Honey I have missed you so much." Esme says to Edward has she hugs him. I perch at the top of stairs waiting to see her. Alice comes beside me. "I'll stop you if you are about to mark her." She whispers quietly to me so no one can hear. I shake my head once.

Time seems to stop has Bella walks through the front door. I want to run and mark her, I want to kiss her, I want love her. Holy shit she looks nothing like she did when she left. I skirt past Alice and I'm quickly at Bella's side. I don't know what to say. She looks at me and smiles and gives me a hug. "Jasper!" She says happily. I can feel the happiness and contentment radiating off of her.

I take her emotions in. If I was human and I saw her I would fall to my feet begging her to make me her love slave do to her loveliness but I am not human. I can feel Esme, Carlisle, Rose, and Emmett all feel fear, apprehension, concern, and worry about how she looks. Her hair looks less lustrous. What was once a vibrant auburn is now dulled down to a mosey brown. Her skin that used to sparkle and radiate life is now grey and pasty. Her beautiful golden eyes are now pitch black surrounded by a ring of purple. She looks exhausted, hungry, and frail. I still want her. Dammit Major, get your shit together.

Esme is in shock. I have never seen her gape with her mouth open but she is. Emmett looks like he is ready to kill someone. His anger is pouring off of him and he is starting to growl. He doesn't like how ill his sister looks. Rose grabs his arm and looks at Bella. "Honey are you sick?" She asks knowing it is a ridiculous question.

We all look at Bella. She tenses us and looks up at Edward. I can feel the fear rolling off of her. What is she afraid of? She has on a teal turtleneck and a pair of dark wash jeans with ballet flats. It's April and that kind of attire is to warm for this time of year. Edward leans down at kisses her forehead and I resist the urge to push him out of the way and hold my mate. He looks back at Rose. "She has not adjusted to vampire life the way we thought she did."

Esme pulls Bella to her and cuddles her. She tucks Bella's head under her chin and rubs her back. I wish it was me doing that. She looks so frail and human in Esme's arms like that. "What do you mean she hasn't adjusted Edward? When she left she seemed so capable and stable." Esme says to Edward.

Bella is tighter than a coil and fear is pouring off of her. I have never felt fear like this. My knees want to buckle from under me and I want to kill. I don't care what or who I kill I just want to rip something apart because my mates fear. I growl lightly and Alice grabs my arm. "Sorry the tension in the room is making him antsy." She says to everyone who is staring at me.

Edward touches Bella's back and I want to rip his arm off but luckily Alice has me. "She does not like the taste of blood all the much and refuses to eat more than is necessary. We are working on it though, don't worry."

Esme kisses the top of her head and everyone sighs in relief. Emmett comes up and grabs Bella away from Esme and gives her a big hug. "Little sister, you always have to be stubborn don't you. Only you would hate the taste of blood. Don't worry I will come up with smorgasbord of blood for you to try while you are home." He says with hope rolling off of him.

All the tension that Bella was projecting fades to relief. I guess she was worried we would all think she was strange and ostracize her for not liking blood. She buries her face in Emmett's chest and inhales deeply, then pulls away. "You don't have to Emmett. Edward knows what I like and he brings it to me." There is trepidation coming off of her when she says it. What is making her nervous?

Emmett messed up her hair a bit and gives Edward a big hug. "I'll help you man. I have tried most of what's out there and I can give you some pretty out of the box ideas." Edward doesn't like Emmett hugging him but he pretends to enjoy it.

Bella gets passed around the family and they all take their time hugging her till she is passed back to me again. I give her a tight hug and we both breathe in deeply and relax into each other. I don't want to let her go but Edward comes to stand next to her and she pulls away, with reluctance and goes to his side. "Darling let's unpack." Edward says to her.

"Yes I should put our stuff away." She says and Edwards picks up their bags and they follow Esme upstairs to their new room.

Renesmee pops out of nowhere and gives me a big hug. "Hey there Uncle what's up?" She asks casually. I look at her and smile. She should have been mine, only I know if Bella and been with me I would have changed her the first time she asked and Renesmee would never have been born.

"I am just glad to have your mother home. How long are you and Jacob staying?" I like Jacob. He is honest and fun to be around. Renesmee shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know. Dad says they are only here to visit so who knows how long that is."

Jacob comes in with two more bags and throws them on the ground and gives be a big bear, well I guess wolf, hug. "Long time no see man! I want to talk strategy with you while we're here, maybe train a bit." Whenever Jacob comes around he flocks to me. We plan war strategy and I help him hone his skills. He's pretty good, for a wolf, I think with a smirk.

"Sure thing Jacob." I reply to him. Renesme shakes her head at us and pulls Jacob with her upstairs to their room. Esme decorated their room to be very rustic and outdoorsy which is good for them. I can feel their bond. They are so happy and in love. It's so pure and wonderful. They are the perfect Band-Aid for me when Bella isn't around. I just soak up their love and it makes me feel whole. Rose and Emmett like to think that they are the loud and adventurous lovers but they have nothing on these two. They are absolutely crazy together. I had the misfortune of having me room next to theirs 20 years ago. At first I thought it would be great, I could siphon off their love and happiness whenever they were around to make me feel whole. One night of them going at it made me realize how alone I really was. They are different but the same all at once. When they are making love it's like listening to ying and yang. For every growl she makes he makes a bark. For every purr she makes he makes a whimper. For every moan she makes he makes a roar.

They came to me years ago very upset. They had talked to Bella and she suggested they come to me. It made me so proud and happy that she would tell them to ask me for advice. Jacob's kind don't mark their imprints but Renesmee's kind, our kind, mark their mates. She wanted a mate's mark on her neck and one on Jacobs. She couldn't stand that vampires thought she was available and was outrageously jealous around any female that was within smelling distance of Jacob. She wanted everyone to know she was his and he was hers. She wanted to know what would happen if she bit him and put her venom in him and what would happen to her. I told them the truth, I wasn't sure. I suggested that we coat Jacob's fangs with venom so that when he bit her it would mark her. Then I suggested that Renesmee bite Jacob longer than normal. I could feel how badly Jacob wanted it to work for her. She felt hollow every time she looked at his neck and felt lonely when she looked her own. She wanted them bound the vampire way. I helped coat Jacob's teeth with my venom, her own would have done nothing but heal her. He bit into her and the bite stayed and marked her. She then bite into Jacob and held on has long has he could take it and miraculously the mark stayed has well. She was so thrilled and Jacob was happy that she was happy.

Esme has been trying to convince them to get married for years now but they will have none of it. Well I should say Renesmee will have none of it. She gets angry and worried anytime anyone mentions marriage in front of her which is strange. She is so happy with Jacob I don't know why she won't marry him. He wants to marry her. I can feel the longing in him when it is mentioned but he doesn't push it. He knows why Renesmee is so afraid of it but he would never betray her by telling anyone else.

Bella's presence in the house is the balm that my body has been craving. I feel whole again. I just worry how I will cope when she leaves again. Or I'm going to cope when she's cuddled up next to Edward on the couch or making love to him in their room.


	6. Chapter 6

a/n thanks for all your reviews! I have some crazy stuff with work, home construction, and finals for grad school all at once so I will probably be a bit spotty on the updates for awhile.

Bella's POV

I want one of them to figure out. I don't want any of them to figure it out. What a mess I have gotten myself into! The main problem is that I love my husband but I hate him. It's been wonderful being with my family. I have missed them so much. I feel whole and happy again for the first time in 35 years. I don't feel alone and empty like I have felt. The emptiness was the worse. I don't know how I survived it. I don't want to leave them ever, but Edward has already told me that we are leaving after a few weeks back with our family. I will be able to handle it, I have handled it before.

"Bells lets go hunting!" Emmett sounds so excited that I want to jump up and run in the woods with him but Edward is glaring at me. I know what he's saying with his eyes, "don't you dare leave this house."

"I'm sorry Emmett I just want to stay here for now." He looks heartbroken. "Why don't you guys bring me something back?" I know I am going to regret that tonight. Edward is not going to be alright with that little outburst. He has made it quite evident to me that he decides when I eat and what I eat.

"You won't be disappointed Bells! I will get you something you can't help but love." I flash him the best grin I can give him knowing that Edward is glaring at me. Emmett runs out of the house and Edward follows him. With him gone I can relax a bit.

It only takes a moment for someone else to come join me. Jasper comes into the room. He seems nervous and unsure of himself. His presence makes me feel alive. It's hard to explain. My dead hearts wants to pound when he's around. My dead heart wants to pump blood through me just so I can blush at his closeness. He smells like home. His scent reminds me of everything I have lost by willingly leaving my family with Edward. I can't figure out why. My brotherly bond with Emmett is so much stronger but he doesn't make me feel this, well giddy. Maybe it's because his letters have become the only good part of my day. Or maybe it's just his ability to manipulate my emotions and make me feel happy. I don't know what it is for sure but he makes me feel complete. I didn't just think that. I can't think that. He's my brother. He's my friend. He's Alice's ex-husband. Edward would kill him. "How are you doing Bella?" He asks me.

"I'm just glad to be home. I have missed you all so much." I hope I didn't give too much away. He looks so sad yet content all at once. "Your letters have meant the world to me. I love getting them. No one writes anymore." He breaks into a true smile. The motionless cavity where my heart used to beat wants to makes a little flutter but I kick it back. What was that?

"Maybe I can't outgrow what I knew has a human but I prefer to write. You know how it is for us. We are stuck in time sometimes. Unable to fully adapt to the new century but unwilling to live in the past. If you have missed us so much why haven't you come home already? You know that we all want you guys here. Esme is practically sick with worry. The highlight of her day is when you call her. Emmett and Rosalie mop around the house like someone kidnapped their sister and Alice is just lost without you." How do I explain that without getting myself in trouble? Wait a minute, he never mentioned anyone missing Edward.

I look out the window searching for an answer but I don't have a good one. "Edward wanted us to have time together, just us. With everything that happened after we got married we never got alone time. He likes the life we have built in Wyoming. We just got there a few years ago and he thinks we can make it last a few more. We are evening going to try dying our hair gray to keep up the illusion. I think it's crazy but Edward seems to think it will work. After that we will probably come home for good." Jasper doesn't appear to believe my answer. I should block my emotions from him but it feels wrong using my ability to block him from me.

"You just said what Edward wants. What do you want Bella?" What do I want? That's a question I have not asked myself in a long time. I shrug my shoulders and smile at him. "I don't know yet but I have all the time in the world to find out." What I really want is to be happy and away from Edward. No, that's not right, I can't mean that. I wanted Edward so badly how can I want to be away from him now that I finally got him?

"So how is the single life treating you? I know Alice has been excited about meeting her mate in a few years any news on yours?" For just a moment I feel his emotions, he projects strongly. I feel like someone shoved their fist in my chest and ripped out my heart. I can't catch my breath and I feel like I am dying. Just has quickly has it came over me it dissipates.

He gives me a smile, an extremely fake smile, but still a smile. "I'm trying not to get too worked up about the idea of my mate. There isn't much I can do until she realizes she loves me too and wants to be my mate. I have been working has you know. I am trying all kinds of new stuff. Just glad they didn't make me pretend to be a high schooler again. I don't think I could have done it to be honest." He lets out a cute laugh and turns his face, almost too nervous to look at me. His blonde bangs fall over his eyes and I feel the urge to reach out and push them out of his eyes. When my hand is about 1 inch away from his face I realize that I am not just thinking about it and I pull my arm back jerkily. If I could still blush I would have. Jasper looks into my eyes and for a moment I think he is going to comment on my strange behavior. He opens his mouth to speak but he stops and closes his mouth.

"Bella do you want to eat?" I turn around slightly confused. How is he back already? I was hoping for more time without him. Edward is standing at the door holding up a dead rabbit. I don't look in his eyes but I turn around and acknowledge him. "I am going to drain it and put the blood in a cup. I'll bring it to you in a few minutes." Edward turns around and goes to the kitchen.

"Why do you eat like that? When you left you had no problem hunting for yourself." I need to be careful. I can't let him know the truth. Edward will rip his throat out and kill everyone I care about to keep me has I am.

"I know I seemed fine before l left but the taste of blood just makes me feel sick." I try to hide my emotions despite the fact it feels like I am cutting a part of myself out to lie to him. I need to make him believe this or something bad will happen. Edward has made it quite clear to me that if someone finds out they will pay.

Edward comes back quickly with a cup filled with blood. Emmett has an excited and impatient look on his face. I know he picked the rabbit out for me. I do love the taste of rabbit I just wish they had more blood. I take the cup and drink it with as much reserve has I can muster. I want to gulp the glass, break it into shards, and lick the blood off drop by drop. Instead I drink it slowly and put the cup down with a little bit of blood left at the bottom. I give Edward a demure smile and look at Emmett. "That was nice Emmett thank you. I would like another in a few days." Edward's jaw clenches and I know he is furious with me, but how else would he have me act? Emmett breaks into a grin and jumps into the seat next to me crushing me in a hug.

"Don't you worry Bells I will find something that you can't live without! I have some contacts and I am going to have them send us all kinds of strange animals. Have you tried a Tasmanian devil?" I shake my head no unable to stop from laughing. "I have a guy sending us one has we speak! It's one of my favorite small treats but they are tough bastards to catch! The same guy is sending me a kangaroo and koala. He's in Australia if you haven't noticed." He says sheepishly.

"Tasmanian devil? Kangaroo? Koala? Really Emmett? We want her to eat not laugh herself to death watching you catch it!" Rosalie jokes from the doorway has she makes her way between her mate and me. "Bella don't let him force you to eat that crap. I have a guy sending me some stuff to. I am going to introduce you to the finer things in life. Have you ever tried a Sika Deer? It is a rare deer found in China. Or maybe a red panda? They taste amazing. I promise you will like them." They are all trying so hard to find something I like. I want to scream at the top of my lungs that I would drink skunk for the rest of my life and satiated with that. One look from Edward has me cowering though. He wants me to keep up the charade that I don't like blood. I think that he sometimes actually believes that I can't stand the taste of blood. I think he believes that I need him to capture those small animals and drain them into a cup for me. He likes the idea that I am still fragile and human. He needs to believe that's how I have to take the blood to be able to justify his actions.

I laugh and nuzzle myself into Rosalie. "They all sound great. I can't wait to try them." I relax into my sister for a moment just enjoying the feelings of completeness and family I get with them. I love how they smell, how they feel, how they complete me. Rosalie and Emmett being so close to me make my senses heighten. They send a pulse of electricity through me like an AED would restart a heart. This feeling is worth 1,000 punishments from Edward.

Edward grabs my arm to pull me off of them. "Come on dear I want some alone time with you. I have missed you." He says too sweetly to me. Emmett raises his eyes brows at Edward and Rosalie smacks her mans chest. I maneuver out of Rosalie's embrace and willingly allow Edward to kiss my neck.

Jasper tenses up. I can feel the anguish and the longing pouring off of him. I have to keep Edward from feeling this. I throw my ability out shielding Jaspers projections. "_Don't let him feel what you are feeling!_" I slam at Jasper through my ability. Oh My God. What have I done? I can't allow anyone else to know about my ability. "_Bella?_" He asks me through the open channel.

"_I will explain later please don't tell anyone about this!_" I shout back at him. I give Edward a shy smile and kiss his cheek. "Edward I would love some time with you. Shall we go to our room?" I hope it's our room. In a house full of vampires he can't hurt me the way he normally does.

Edward chuckles. If you didn't know him like I do you might think it was a casual chuckle. I know him better than that, it is a sinister chuckle. "Oh Bella what I want to do with you I don't want my parents to hear." He gives Emmett a wink. Emmett winks back at him thinking that Edward just wants to get kinky with me. God I wish that was what he wanted to do.

I don't know where it came from but Jasper growls softly. Everyone in the room whips their heads to look at him. "What is the matter Jasper?" Edward asks him. Jaspers emotions are so thick I don't know how everyone in the room isn't pouncing on each other ready to kill. I quickly shield them hoping Edward can't feel them. If he feels the violence that Jasper is feeling at this moment he might bottle it up and use it all on me. "_Jasper please."_ I beg him.

Jasper's face softens and he shrugs his shoulders. "Sorry all the sexual tension in the room was getting to me. Have fun." He says weakly and leaves the room. If I was allowed to drink enough blood I would have been able to see him fly out of the room but with the limited blood I am allowed I could only feel it. "_We will talk about this Bella."_ He scowls at me. I can feel him projecting that he is not happy that he didn't know about this aspect of my gift but I continue to shield him.

"Come on sweet heart, I found a great place just a few miles from home." Edward says while his hand tightens around my arm. I try to smile and not grimace and Rosalie and Emmett seem to buy it. He drags me out of the house and I try to keep pace.


	7. Chapter 7

Renesmee's POV

He's just so fucking warm. I love it. I'm nestled into Jacob's left side and he is rubbing up and down my back while I bask in all that is him. "What is wrong dear you have been distant all night?" He asks me when he kisses my forehead.

"Distant my ass, about 10 minutes ago we weren't distant at all!" We were so entangled with each other a few minutes ago it would have been difficult for someone to tell where he stopped and I began.

"Don't get an attitude with me. You know exactly what I am talking about. Ever since we showed up at your parent's house you have been acting strange. I just want to help." He pulls me closer to him and I kiss his mating scar. I know that it hurt him a great deal to allow me to do that but he did it for me. It helps remind me that he would do anything for me, and I would for him.

"It's my mom Jake. Something isn't right and I know you know it too. She doesn't act like she used too. She barely eats and quite frankly she looks like shit. And you saw my dad when he came in that day. What was up with that?" It's been bothering me more and more every time I went home but it seems to be getting worse. Maybe I just never spent enough time at home to notice it before or maybe I just didn't want to see it but something is wrong.

Jake lays there thinking for a moment, sometimes he needs to mull over something before just spitting his ideas out. "What I saw that day was pure fear on your mom's part. She told me through her gift to sit down and protect you. She still hasn't told him about her other gift which is strange enough. Honey you aren't going to like this but I think your dad is hurting her."

Hurting her? My dad? Impossible. He loves my mom and she loves him. They went through so much to be together. How could you hurt a vampire anyways? "It's not possible mom would never put up with it. She would tell someone or at least fight back. Maybe they are just having some marital problems."

"Renesmee," Shit when he uses my whole name he is serious. "I know you don't want to believe or ever admit it but your dad is doing something to your mom. You've seen how controlling he's gotten over the years. He lays out her clothes, he doesn't let her have her own credit cards, he even catches her food for her. Something isn't right. Is this why you don't want to marry me?"

He knows me to well. I bury my head in his chest and he allows me to hide for a moment before pulling my face up waiting for an answer. "I don't want us to end up like them. They were happy before they got married and now mom just seems miserable."

Jake leans up and kisses me. "That won't happen with us."

"It could though. Forever is a long time Jake and what if you change your mind about me. You might realize that a normal girl would be better but you'd feel guilty because you are married to me." I've offered to try and have kids with him but he refuses too. Says it's too much of a risk. With a normal girl there wouldn't be a problem.

"That won't happen. We are more than just mates and imprints and you know that. If we got married things would remind the same. I am never going to leave you. Getting married would turn us into your parents. Your dad's need to control and your mom's need to summit were issues before they got married."

I don't want to think about it anymore. It's just not possible, not my father. I may think he's an asshole most of the time but he would never hurt my mom. "Jake I don't want to talk about it anymore right now."

"That's fine but we will have to talk about it again. Talk to Rose about it, she usually makes you feel better." He's right I should. I'm closest with Rose after my mom in my family. She's my aunt, sister, and best friend all rolled up into one.

"I will talk to you about it tomorrow." He shakes his head and leans over and turns off the light. I snuggle into him hoping to get some must needed rest. After a few minutes he is lightly snoring and I'm pulling comfort from his warm body.

Sleep isn't coming I can only think about my mom. How purple the bags under her eyes look, how slow and jerky her movements are, how nervous she always seems, how she only wears long sleeve pants and shirts and always has her neck covered. Is my dad hurting her? Their marriage is the main reason I don't want to marry Jacob. From what I was told they were very happy together before they got married. I don't want to risk changing my relationship with Jake to get married, even though he asks me to at least once a year.

The next day

"Do you want a human breakfast or blood darling?" Esme asks me has she pulls me into a tight hug. She loves to mother me more than my own mom likes to sometimes.

I look at Jacob and I smile, he already let me have breakfast this morning. He doesn't mind when I feed from him. He can't be turned and I never take more than a cup full even though his body replenishes blood at a ridiculous rate. The first time I bite into him I freaked out. We were at his home in la Push making love and I couldn't stop myself it was instinctual.

_Jacob completes me. I can't imagine a life without him. I can't imagine existing without him. Maybe it's the imprint or the mating pull that takes over ever fiber of my being and I know it takes over all of him as well. _

_ I love being with him at home. He lets go so much more here than he does at my home with my parents. I think he feels more comfortable being in his house where my family can't hear him. He is getting better with them but he's not all together adjusted to them yet._

_ We've already been at it twice but being what we are that's nothing. We are dosing off into each other's arms when he starts to kiss my neck again. I giggle and pull him over me. He wiggles his eyebrows at me, he likes it when I use my vampire strength on him. He leans down and claims my mouth while his hands trail up and down my sides and land on my breasts, massaging them._

_ "I love you Jake." I pant out to him. _

_ "I love you more Renesmee." He moans to me while he slowly enters me. Ecstasy is the only word I can use to explain this feeling and I let out a loud moan. I am glad that his dad isn't around to hear this. He picks up the pace and I wrap my legs around his waist._

_ Before I can think I pull myself up and bite into him where my mating scar should go. I drink deeply then I realize what I am doing. I am drinking from my mate. I push him off of me hard and fast. He lands on his feet gracefully and looks at me with bewildered. He brings his hand up to his neck and wipes at it bringing his hand away to see it smeared with blood. _

_ I jump out of the bed pulling the sheet around me. I try to move past him to the door so I could change and leave but he grabs me. "Let me go Jacob." I say quietly, trying not to break down but he doesn't let me go. I just want to get home and talk to my mom and Rose they will know what to do. "Please Jacob let me go." He puts his arms around me and pulls me closer. I can't stop myself from crying into his chest._

_ "If you what you need and want is to bite and feed from me I'm alright with that. You're part vampire Renesmee and if that's what will make you happy then it will make me happy." I move my face out of his tanned warm chest and look into his eyes. "Are you sure?" I ask him my voice shaking._

_ He smiles and leans down and kisses me. "I am positive. Besides it's kind of kinky, I like it." I playfully hit him in the stomach and he picks me up and carries me back to the bed. He lays me out and covers me again brining his neck to my mouth. "It's alright I love you." He says has I push myself up to latch onto his neck._

That was years ago and I've feed from him plenty since then. I've also marked him since then. He is the only thing I feed from except animals. I like having his blood flowing through me. It makes me feel closer to him.

"Just a cup of coffee would be great but Jacob here could eat a horse." Esme laughs and puts herself between Jacob and me locking arms with us. "It's already done. I know how much my boy likes to eat. I love just when my little ones are home." She says to us love pouring out of her.

"I love when I'm with you to Grammy." She laughs at my pet name for her and she kisses my cheek pulling me into her arms. She taller than me by a few inches but Jacob still makes her look short.

After the past couple decades Jacob has become quite at home with my family. We don't consider ourselves part of their coven but we are part of their family. In fact I consider myself more a part of his pack. Since I am still partially human I am a bit different than most vampires. I can eat human food, I can sleep, my body can change, and I can get tattoos. I got Jacob's pack tattoo about 37 years ago. Dad lost his shit but mom calmed him down. Since I can communicate with my mind I fit right in with the pack. After Sam stopped phasing to have a full life with Emily all the wolves from his pack that didn't imprint decided to join our pack. Seth accepted me without any problems and Leah and I actually grew quite close. She was my friend just as much as my pack sister. I miss her phasing and being able to run with her but she met her imprint and wants to age with him and her children now.

Esme wasn't kidding when she said she had food ready for Jacob. It's a small feast in their kitchen. She's made scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes, and even fresh squeezed orange juice for him. I look over at her and smile. "I might have to have some too it looks to good." Esme pours a second cup of juice and hands it to me. "There's plenty dear don't you worry."

After breakfast I search out Rose. She will be able to help me think through it. Rose is outside with Emmett working on an animal pen for all the animals they are ordering for my mom to try. I don't remember when mom stopped liking blood but apparently did.

I wave at Rose and she says something to Emmett and runs to my side. "You need something?" She asks me. I shake my head yes and walk into the woods. She follows me knowing that I will speak when I am ready too. I find a comfortable spot far away from prying eyes and my dad's gift and plop down. "What's wrong Renesmee?" She asks me kindly. She sits down next to me and puts her arm around my shoulder.

"I need some advice Rose. I have so much going through my head right now and I don't know what's up and what's down anymore." I spit out to her. She gives me a tight squeeze and looks at me. "Is it about Jake?"

"Partially." I admit.

She smiles at me and pulls my head to her shoulder. "He loves you and I know he asks you to marry him all the time. You are happy with him aren't you?" I shake my head yes. "Then what's stopping you?"

"My mom and dad mostly."

I can feel Rose tense up. "Has your father said something to you about Jake? I know he doesn't like him that much but its none of his god damned business. You love him and he would die for you, hell he has almost died for you. If he told you not to marry him I'll have a talk with him." She is pissed and she is one person I never want to be on the receiving end of her anger.

"No, dad didn't tell me I couldn't get married. It's just them. They seem miserable. Well I should rephrase that, mom seems miserable. They weren't like that when they got married. What if Jake marries me and then realizes years from now that even though he loves me it's not enough. He wants to have human children with a human and grow old with her. I can't give him that. He says he would never leave me and he loves me but what if that desire becomes stronger. When we visit Leah I can feel his envy. He wants kids."

Rose's expression softens. "There is one thing I can promise you and that is that boy would never ever in a million years leave you. He is so in love with you that he would die without you. And you might be able to give him children. We don't know and you guys won't try. Isn't your cycle coming up in a week? Why don't you guys try?"

I frown. "We have talked about it but he's afraid to. When mom was pregnant with me the only thing that saved her was being turned. I won't be able to be turned. He's worried I will die trying to have a child." The first time I went into heat I had no clue what was happening. My human self and my vampire self melded and once a year I go through a breeding cycle. We aren't sure what I would conceive if I acted on it. During that time I am so overly sexual that I can't be around any males. I usually stay with Alice, Rose, and Esme. They take care of me and make sure I don't do anything stupid. When mom lived with us she would lay in bed with me and watch movies all day. I miss that.

"I can't make him try something he doesn't want to but if you tell him how important it is to you he might try, but it's different for us women. I would give up my life to have a child but Emmett would never risk my life to have a child." I know she's right but I don't know if he'll ever come around to the idea.

"I am also worried about my mom." I say after we are silent for a few minutes.

"I am too." She says quietly.

"Jake thinks that my dad is hurting her. When we went home he couldn't smell us over the garlic and he freaked out on her. His hand was raised has if he was going to hit her but he stopped once he noticed we were there. Something isn't right." I don't want to believe it but the more I think about it it's the only answer that makes sense.

Rose thinks for a while. She goes kind of still and I know she is sorting through all her memories of my mom and dad. "It's possible. Your father is very dominating with your mom. I will keep an eye on the situation. Have you talked to your mom about your concerns?"

I shake my head no. "I don't think she would tell me the truth anyways."

"I'll talk to Jasper see if he can feel anything going on." Rose tells me. I shake my head in agreement. Jasper is one of moms best friends I know he will want to get to the bottom of what is wrong with her.

I give Rose a tight hug. "Thanks." I say softly. She smiles into my hair. "Anytime." She replies.

a/n again sorry for the delay I got a lot of craziness going on at home. I hope you all liked this chapter, feedback is appreciated.


	8. Chapter 8

Jasper's POV

Something isn't right. They've been here two weeks and there's just something off. Why didn't I know about that aspect of her gift? I haven't heard anyone ever talk about it. She was afraid of something too. I just don't know what. My mating instinct was to take her into my room and barricade the door until I figured out what was scaring her than take it out, but I can't do that. I don't have the right too.

It's hardest at night. I can feel Edward's lust building all day until he can't control it. He demands Bella's body every night. I don't stay to feel her feelings, it would hurt too much to feel her want him. I slip out the back door and stay out all night until the morning.

Rosalie came to me last night. I had to leave. I could feel his lust building and his physical needs began to hum. I'm lucky I'm has strong has I am or I would have tackled the next living creature I saw and had my way with them. I was deep in the woods hunting when Rosalie came to me.

_ I don't know how long I am out there but Rose appears out of the trees. "What do you want Rose?" I snarl at her. She takes a step back almost afraid. "I'm sorry I snapped at you I'm just not in a good mood." I say to her._

_ "I need to talk to you about Bella." She states. _

_ "What about her?" It's hard for me to talk about her._

_ Rose looks back behind her making sure no one followed her. "Renesmee came to me this afternoon and she's worried about Bella. She and Jake are worried that Edward is hurting her. I just want you to be aware of it so you can try to read her feelings. She's closest with you in the family now and I just want to make sure she's alright." _

_ "I have been worried too. She's so different." I respond sadly._

_ "It might be nothing but just keep your feelers out alright?" Rose says then turns around and leaves the same way she came._

I have been trying for a few days to get a moment alone with her to talk but Edward is always around her. I can't seem to get even a second with her. Edward finally announces that he is going hunting. I wait patiently for him to leave and the second he is gone I meet Bella in the library. The look on her face tells me she knew I would be coming. I can feel her nervousness but I can also feel her happiness at having me around. She may not know I am her mate but her body does. "Bella, we need to talk."

She smiles softly and looks down at the book she is reading. The sun is hitting her skin but it's not sparkling like it should. It's a dull glimmer. The light is highlighting how fragile she looks right now. She appears to be exhausted. She's curled up in a big cozy chair reading a book on Civil War history. She looks so cold sitting there too. She has on a thick turtle neck sweater and jeans with thick socks on her feet. I want to hold her to me and try to warm her. "I know we do." She replies. She looks out the window making sure that Edward isn't standing outside the window. I can feel her shield encompassing us. "I have an aspect of my gift that came out a while ago. I didn't want to tell everyone. Renesmee didn't get her gift from her father but from me. Or maybe I got it because Edward bit me and I mutated his gift. Only Alice, Jake, and Renesmee know about it."

I instinctually growl softly. I should have known about this. Her body tenses and fear becomes her dominate feeling. I put a stop to my natural reaction and try to calm myself down. I cannot make her afraid. That is something I can't abide. "You should not have kept this from your mate." It takes me a moment to realize what I said. Fuck. She is going to figure it out and she will never speak to me again. My mating instinct is becoming just has much a distinct personality has my Major self. If I don't find a way to blend it in with myself I am going to have three personalities floating around in here.

"He is not my mate!" Bella snarls at me loudly. "You of all people should be able to feel that. Do not even pretend he is my mate." I have never heard her this angry. I don't know if I should be relieved that she knows he's not her mate or kicking myself for making her upset.

"I am sorry I don't know why I said it. Trust me I know he isn't your mate." I really don't, I'm not lying. I could have ruined everything with one comment. "Why do you stay with him then if you know he's not your mate?" I can't stop myself from asking.

Bella's movements have become more human. She fidgets in her seat. "I had a child with him Jasper." I'm surprised at her answer. She didn't say because she loves him.

"So why didn't you tell him or anyone else about your gift for that matter?"

"My ability to have open communication through someone's mind is blocked from his gift. I want something that is mine and is me. With him everything is his and I just wanted one thing left to be mine." She seems so sad. I remember her being so happy and full of life. This is shade of the woman I used to know, but I would still give up my life for one kiss from her.

"Just because you had a child with him doesn't mean you have to stay with him forever. What would you do if you meet your mate?" I have to know that answer. I shouldn't be asking it but I need to know if there is ever a chance.

Bella looks me right in the eyes, her stare boring into my soul. "I am not allowed to leave him. He would not accept that. It's better for everyone if I just stay put. I don't even entertain the idea of meeting my mate. If I meet him it would just hurt too much because I could never be with him."

I know the pain she is talking about because I feel it every day. "You could leave him Bella. You're not stuck with him because of a child. Renesmee would never blame you for leaving him nor would anyone in this coven. You need to do what makes you happy." I know it's selfish to try to convince her to leave him because it would make me happy too.

"I haven't thought about what makes me happy in a long time Jasper. Death is the only true change a vampire can ever hope to achieve. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Please let's talk about something pleasant Jasper. Tell me stories about the Wild West. Maybe about the time you meet Annie Oakley and Wild Bill. I am so tired." Bella almost begs me to stop asking her about it. She leans her head back on the seat and closes her eyes for a moment. It's time like this that I hate being an empath. Her pain and sadness makes me feel like I am walking in a foot of sand. It's too hard and too painful to drudge through. She must notice that I am having a hard a time with her emotions because I stop feeling them.

"Don't do that Bella."

"Do what Jasper?" She responds to me exhausted.

"Don't block your emotions from me. Don't feel like you ever have to hide something from me." She doesn't say anything but she drops her shield and I can feel her again. This time there is a dash of relaxation. I like to think she knows she can relax around me. "Sometimes I wish I had gone with my first instincts. I like to imagine my life like that." She says wistfully with her eyes shut and her head laying back. I don't know what she is talking about but she seems so calm and content to think about that cryptic statement that I don't want to ruin it for her.

"I can help you sleep if you would like."

Bella rolls her head to the side and looks at me. It looks like she couldn't lift her head even if she wanted to. I know that vampires don't need rest and don't sleep but she looks like she needs it. Based off Edward's lust yesterday he must have been at it all night with her. "I would like that very much. Will you tell me stories while I rest?" I shake my head yes and send her a wave of lethargy and calm. I can't put her completely to sleep but I can make her feel like she is. Her body starts to slow down and her eye lids drop. I can feel her entire body relax. Once I start to speak her body adds a new emotion, peace. She likes the sound and rhythm of my voice, that is something I can feel from her. She likes when I tell her stories. Sometimes I'll send her 10 page letters of stories I have heard.

While she rests I tell her stories about my adventures before and during the Civil War. I don't go into the dark times of my life in the Southern Wars where my other personality fully took over me. I call that part of me the Major, it doesn't sound quite as scary has what the others call me. Mars, or the god of war.

The first time someone called me that it slapped me back to being Jasper. I had been Maria's first in command for a few years and that side of me enjoyed the killing. I was killing the yearlings and one of them flinched at me and said. "Please Mars let me live." I asked him what that meant and he told me everyone calls me the god of war. I didn't want to the god of war. I didn't want to be the bringer of death. I didn't want any of it but I was. If Peter and Charlotte never came back for me I would have found a way to meet the final death. That day was the first time anyone put a name to my other personality and I found away to control him. I just didn't want to be that person anymore. So I compartmentalize that part of me and he only comes out when I am so angry I can't control it. He's come out four times since I have meet Bella. Twice when she was human. James knew better, he had heard of me. When I ripped his head off I heard him mutter "Mars takes another causality." He came out again when Victoria brought her new born army to Forks to kill Bella. It should have been me with her up in the mountains. Victoria and Riley would have been dead in seconds and Bella never would have had to cut herself. The last time he came out was when I thought the Volturi were going to kill her and Renesmee. Luckily that situation never got out of hand. I was able to stuff him back inside of me before he wrecked havoc on the battle field yet again. Edward thinks that the Major came out when Bella cut herself at her birthday party and in a way he was right. Mars made an appearance but not to drain Bella, he wanted to kill Edward. Mars could feel Edward's bloodlust and it scared him. He couldn't risk losing my mate. Alice had set it up so I could turn her and I thought it would be me in control but the second Edward smelt her blood and his feelings flooded me Mars came out and I ceased to exist. The Major or Mars or whatever you want to call him is the karmic debt that keeps me from having my mate. His negative actions have doomed me to an eternity of loneliness. I deserve it though. I have killed too many to count. She deserves a nice calm man. Not Edward that's for sure but a good man that other vampires don't cringe at the sound of their name.

"Bella I have food for you." Edward says from the doorway. I look at him and the man known has Mars that lives in me wants to kill him but I keep him from winning. "What are you guys doing?" He asks me. I can feel his anger starting to boil over.

"She just wanted to rest so I helped her." He doesn't seem happy with that but he doesn't ask any more questions.

Edward comes back a little while later with a cup filled with blood. He hands it to Bella and she grabs it and gulps it greedily. I can feel the bloodlust and hunger pouring off of her. For a moment I think she is about to close those emotions off to me but she meets my gaze and she stops her shield from coming down and allows her feelings to pour over me. When she is done she slams the cup down on the table and Edward glares at her. Her bloodlust and hunger is barely touched. I think she is still hungry.

"Could you give us some alone time?" Edward barks at me. He's so foolish to be giving me orders. He has spent his whole life being pampered. He has no clue how most vampires live. If he did he would be afraid of me like he should be. His pampered existence didn't allow for him to know of the Major. When I became a member of the coven only Esme, Carlisle, and Alice truly knew what I was capable of. Edward didn't even register me and Emmett and Rosalie just look at me has their brother. Carlisle was smart. He knew he needed a fighter to keep his coven safe and he got one in me. He couldn't have asked for a better warrior to keep other covens or nomads from challenging us. The few times we have been challenged all he had to do was call on me and the moment the other vampires saw me standing next to my coven they ran away in fear. We're a small community and most of us make it a point to know has much about our community has possible. Knowing your enemy is the difference between life and death. Anytime Peter, Charlotte or I meet a new vamp we contact each other and gossip like school girls about them. The way we were raised is hard to break. Learn your enemy, find his strengths, exploit his weakness, take him out. Edward is just too arrogant to acknowledge I am better than him at something. I can feel his vanity. He is demented enough to believe he could defeat me if he needed to. Stupid boy, I would kill him before he had a chance to even lift his fist. I want to say no and put him in his place but I feel Bella in my mind. _"It's best if you do what he wants and gives us some time together. It's alright I will talk to you later."_ She says to me through her gift.

"That's fine." I say to him. I look at Bella. "_You can plan on it."_ I leave the house and I want to break something. I hate being told to leave her side from that pathetic excuse for a vampire. I stomp out into the forest and rip down some trees and drain whatever animal comes my way. Bella's bloodlust has me starving.

Now that Rose has put the idea in my head it's all I can think about. Not to mention her strange responses to my questions. If he's hurting her I will kill him. I will rip him to shreds and burn his body. He would not survive a meeting with the Major and he will understand why they call me Mars.

I head back to the house and Alice is sitting Indian style on the floor of my room. When I come in she jumps up and gives me a tight hug. "I know this is hard for you Jasper." She whispers to me. She grabs my hand pulls me outside again. She doesn't stop until we are far enough away that no one could hear what we are saying or read our minds.

"Jasper I need you do a huge favor for me and you can't ask why." Alice begs of me.

I shake my head in agreement. Alice knows I would do anything for her. "I need you to move a large sum of my money into a new account. Enough money that would sustain someone for a really long, long time. Then I need you two make two IDs for a girl for me. I'll get you the photos of the girl closer to when I'll need them. I don't want you to use any of our normal aliases, so no Cullen, Mason, Hale, McCarthy, Whitlock stuff. It needs to be completely separate from us. I want them to be untraceable and not something anyone in our coven would ever think to search. I need one of them to be for a blond girl from Canada and the other to be a brunette girl from Florida. She has brown eyes and is about 5'7". Then I need you to buy a sheep farm on the Aran Islands in Ireland for me. Again don't use one of our normal aliases. Please I need you to have all of this done before Renesmee goes into heat. It is a matter of life and death." I have never heard Alice so frantic or scared before. She is planning something but she's keeping her cards close to her chest.

"Ok, I will have it done. I'll need the photos a few days before I finalize the id's. I won't use our normal aliases. Should I make an id for myself?" I ask her. If she's coming to me she has a reason for it. Carlisle is just as gifted as I am at doing this stuff.

Alice thinks for a moment. I know she is going through her visions. "Yes make yourself companion ids. Jasper you can't let anyone in our family know about this. It needs to be a secret." She tells me. What she means is make sure Edward doesn't read it in my mind.

"Don't worry I can keep a secret." I say with a smirk. I learned how to work around Edward's gift decades ago.

"There's one more thing Jasper." She feels worried to ask me this one last night.

"Spit it out Alice you know I'll do it."

"I need you and I to start fighting in front of everyone. Then right before all the males leave for Renesmee's cycle we need to have a huge blow out fight. You need to storm out and tell everyone you won't be back because you can't stand to be around me anymore. It is important that everyone thinks you are gone from our coven and not coming back. I will contact you once you leave with the next step." I can feel that she honestly believes that this is what she needs, and I can feel the urgency and fear in her. Something is wrong and she is stubborn enough not to tell me until she is ready too.

I shake my head in agreement. "Alright starting to tonight you need to pick on me for everything. I will start fighting right back. By the end of the week the night before Renesmee goes into heat I am going to tell everyone I can't be around you anymore and we were foolish to live together after we got divorced. We have to be cruel enough that they believe it."

She stands on her toes and kisses my cheek. "Thank you Jasper. I am trying to fix everything." She says cryptically then she runs back the house leaving me confused in the middle of the woods.


	9. Chapter 9

a/n Thank you all for all your wonderful reviews! I am glad that you are all enjoying this story. I should probably warn you that this chapter is a bit graphic. So if you need to skip over the middle that is fine.

Bella's POV

I am a fool. An idiot. I am going to get someone killed. What was I thinking? Telling Jasper those things, that mistake could cost someone their life. I just couldn't stop myself. It felt right telling him everything I thought and felt. For the first time in nearly 50 years I felt comfortable and relaxed. He let me drift off. That was more than I could have hoped for.

"Bella what were you doing in there talking to him?" Edward snarls at me. I flinch a little but luckily Edward doesn't hit me. I don't know if I could take it. My stomach is still cracked from last night. 35 years of blood deprivation is taking its toll and I'm just not healing right. If he were to hit me right now I might just shatter into a million pieces… that would be nice.

"We were just talking. I was tired and he allowed me to rest. It was nothing darling." I say sweetly, even if I am fighting back my fear.

Edward climbs into the chair next to me and pulls me into him. I stay tense in his arms. He pulls me into his lap and nuzzles my neck. I freeze. Is this a trick? I never know what he is thinking or doing. "I just a little jealous that's all. He seemed to be enjoying talking to you a little too much." Edward whispers into my neck.

Careful now Bella, this is a make it or break it moment. I turn my face and kiss him. "There is nothing to be jealous of darling. You know I am yours. He was just telling me about his new work." Please just believe me and be done with it.

Edward peels my turtleneck down, thank God I am sitting in his lap with my right neck exposed to him. I don't want him near the one spot of my body he can't have. He kisses the many scars that are already on my neck. I know they look like a gnarled mess but he seems to like them. I feel him kissing the scars and I force my body not to shudder. I don't have the control I used too. "You're mine Bella." Edward states has he bites into my neck. I let out a shriek but he covers my mouth with his hand. "You're mine and don't you ever forget that." He growls into my ear.

"I'm yours Edward." I say quietly trying to keep the pain out of my voice. I feel him lick the wound close but it doesn't matter he has already added another scar to my neck. My body is a hideous reminder that I am his.

"I don't like him being around you like that."

"I'm sorry Edward but he is our brother there is not much I can do about that. You have to be alright with me being around our brother." That isn't the word for him. Brother. That is not the word I would ever use to describe what he is to me. He's my rock. His letters are what keep me going.

I don't have time to flinch before Edward's palm smacks across my face. I look at him in terror and bring my hand to my face. I can feel the crack and its oozing venom. Even my venom isn't the same anymore. It's dry, like it's mixed with sand. "Don't you talk back to me."

I lower my eyes and stare at the carpet. "I am sorry dear I didn't mean to be disrespectful. How can I make it up to you?" I need him to be happy so he can fix my face before anyone else sees it. I don't know what would happen if someone saw my face cracked but everyone I love is in the this house I won't risk any of them.

Edward snickers and grabs my arm roughly. He drags me out of the window and into the woods. He's been smarter than I thought he would be. I know he is cocky and truly believes that he has the right to treat me however he wants to. It kind of surprised me how much effort he makes in his family not seeing this part of him. We go further and further in to the wood until we far enough away. He flings me into a tree and I slam into it. I wince, please don't let my back my cracked. I won't survive this if it is. "Strip!" He barks at me.

I painfully lift off my turtleneck and throw it on the ground next to me. I undo my jeans and kick them to the side. I'm freezing. I shouldn't be cold I am vampire. I don't know what I am becoming though. I'm not human not a vampire. I'm just a weak pathetic creature. I reach down and roll off my socks. I start to shiver when my feet touch the cold ground. I stop for a moment and he gives waves his hands at me beckoning me to continue. I unhook my bra and throw it in my clothes pile and slide my panties down and kick them over. I wrap my arms around my chest and stand there waiting. I look down and I see that my chest is still cracked. I hope he notices and doesn't get to rough.

He starts to stalk me. He walks around me in a circle like he might stalk his prey, but right now I am his prey. I try not to move and I don't make eye contact with him. "You're cracked dear." He states. I don't respond. "I will fix that." He carefully licks all of my cracks forcing his venom into them. It burns terribly but I can feel the cracks mending. If it was my own venom it wouldn't hurt this bad but I don't have enough to fix myself anymore. He licks up and down my stomach and I try not to shake. He stands up and clutches my face. He tilts my head to the side and licks the crack on my cheek. If I could cry I would be right now, but I stand there stoically hoping it will be over soon.

He pushes me over and I let out a cry has I fall to the ground barely catching my fall with my hands. He's on my in an instant. He flips me on my back and cages me under him. He quickly rips off his own clothes and I quickly take my mind somewhere else. I try to remember what it was like when we were first married. It's almost impossible now to remember our honeymoon. All the bad memoires he has made with me has overwhelmed the few good human ones I had. I do remember enjoying this on the honeymoon though but he was different then. He was gentle and careful of my fragile body. Even once I was changed and we lived at home for those first few years it was enjoyable. He sometimes wanted to play rough but it was nothing like this. A few nips and pushes here and there were actually kind of exciting. I don't remember the actual moment where it changed. It was gradual. I grew to enjoy it less and less until the thought of him in me started to revolt me. But he is my husband. I signed on for this. I agreed to this the moment I said "I do." That's what he likes to remind me.

My torso begins to ache. I know it's about to crack again. He's using his vampire strength and speed and I have nothing left in my body to give. Go somewhere else Bella! I can't seem to remind myself to shut of my mind any faster. The one good thing about being a vampire that I still have is the ability to multitask in my mind. My body is there and it's getting abused but my mind is thankfully gone. It's worth it. What Edward is doing to me right now is worth the afternoon I had. For a few hours I was at peace. I was with Jasper and I was at peace. God I wish I had gone with my first instincts that day in the cafeteria. But I didn't and this is my punishment.

The pressure on my body subsides and I slowly come back to my mind. Edward is standing next to the tree trying to put on any of his clothes that aren't shredded. I don't move, I don't whimper. I just lay there still. I don't want to set him off again. Once he is dressed he knells down next to me and begins to close the new cracks on my torso. When my front is done he quickly flips me over and closes the ones on my back. "I keep forgetting how fragile my Bella is. You just bring something out in me and I can't stop." He moans into my ear.

I turn my head and I meet his eyes for the first time since he brought me out here and I lie straight through my teeth at him. "It's alright dear. I am your wife I am here for you." I want to choke on imaginary bile that is no longer in my body but I say it, because if he believes it maybe he will be kinder for the rest of the day.

He leans down and captures my mouth. For a moment I can remember him kissing me after I first changed. I try to pretend that is what this kiss is like. Carefree, passionate, romantic. This is demanding, demeaning, and painful. He nips my lips and pulls away. "Now go back home I have worked up an appetite." He says while he throws my clothes at me.

I quickly dress and run back to the house has fast as I can. Alice is waiting for me on the porch and she grabs me in a tight protective hug. "Come with me." She whispers into my ears. I follow her blindly without thinking.

Alice gently guides me up to her room. We pass Emmett and Rose playing video games with Jake and Renesmee and thankfully they don't look up to see me. I know I look broken. We get to the landing and Jasper is standing there. He is actually vibrating, his body humming with its projected emotions. They are almost too much to take; protective, loving, angry, furious, concerned, hurt, confused. My legs start to buckle on the weight of his feelings mixing with mine. He moves to grab me and catches me before I fall over.

"Bring her to my room Jasper then I need you to leave." Alice directs him. I can feel him carrying me through my haze. I am not quite conscious but I am not totally passed out either. I am in blissful place. In my weakened state my shield automatically comes up. I have no control over it. It cocoons Jasper and me. I feel so safe with him.

I can feel Alice trying to reach my mind. _"Bella I need you to drop your shield and let Jasper put you on the bed unless you want to tell Jasper what is going on." _ She says through my gift. I force my shield to drop. "Jasper please lay her down."

Jasper's feelings are washing over me like the ocean and I feel like I can't swim. Reluctance is the main feeling right now. He doesn't want to put me down. He starts to vibrate again. _"Bella you need to calm him down. The major is about to come out. You need to get him calm and get him to leave."_ Alice pours into my open channel with her.

"Jasper." I croak out to him. I finally manage to open my eyes and I meet his. "Jasper you need to place me on the bed and leave the room. Alice and I have some girl things to attend too." I can see the major fighting behind his eyes to get out and take control. His emotions are blaring out the need to protect me. "Jasper I am fine." I say out loud. I know I should lie to him to make him go but I can't physically form the words to lie to him.

_"Alice help me. I don't want him to find out about this please. I can't seem to lie to him." _I beg her through my mind. She puts her hands up showing her submittal and slowly walks over to us. She gently puts her arm on Jasper's arm and he look at her for a moment. "Jasper, Bella is having a bad reaction to some blood she drank. I need you to let me take care of her now. Her husband will not like smelling another male vampire all over her." Oh god I hadn't even thought of that. Edward is going to be vicious tonight trying to mark me has his.

The battle in his eyes seem to subside and Jasper finally comes back, the Major successfully beaten. Jasper looks at me and finally realizes that he is holding me and he gets a panicked look on his face. "It's fine Jasper. I just need some alone time with Alice." I say quietly. He places me on the bed.

"I'm sorry Bella. I saw you coming in the house and you looked so, you just looked, you were…., I'm sorry." He quickly turns and runs out of the room.

Alice quickly picks me and takes me into her bathroom. "What happened back there Alice?' I ask her. She draws me a warm bubble bath not responding to my question yet. I can see her thinking so I will wait until she wants to talk. Once the bath is filled she carefully gets me out my clothes. She handles me with so much care like a new born baby and helps me lower in the water. The warmth makes me relax and I lean back into the tub and allow my body to release all the tension it had been holding.

She picks up a wash cloth and beings to wash my back. "Bella you scared him. When you came back to the house you looked horrible. I have never seen a vampire look like that, even ones in battle. You look so broken." She sobs out. She cradles my head and dry sobs into my hair. "When he saw you Mars wanted out. He wanted to find who hurt you and made you look like that and rip him to shreds. I am going to fix it Bella. I swear I am."

"Don't Alice please. It is too risky. I will not be the reason that Edward kills your mate." I frantically tell her twisting around in the tub. "I have a way to fix it." I say to her hopefully. I realized it when I was with Jasper this afternoon. Death is the only way out for a vampire.

Alice jumps up and looks at me. She grabs my face gently and makes me look at her. "You will not kill yourself Bella. I have a better plan." She says.

I shake my head. "Alice I am not going to risk your mate. I am not going to risk Edwards's wrath towards my family. Nor will I allow anyone to kill the father of my daughter. He is her father and I would never take that away from her, ever. It is fine. I have accepted this fate."

"Don't you dare! You would destroy Jasper!" Alice snarls at me. I give her a confused look. "What are you talking about?" I ask her.

Alice snaps out of her rage and looks at me. "Nothing. I have a better plan. Just give me thru Renesmee's heat and I promise you that everything will be better Bella. You're my best friend and my sister. I am not going to lose you." She doesn't elaborate further.

When the water gets cold Alice drains the tub and helps me dry off and puts me in fresh clothes. She sniffs me and all trace of Jasper's scent is gone. I kind of miss it.

"Stand in front of that white wall Bella." Alice directs me. She picks up a camera. "Smile." She says has she snaps a picture. She throws me blonde wig and I raise my eyebrow at her. "Put it on and smile." She says. I do has she says and put on the wig and smile to the camera.

"Bella you just have to trust me. I have things set in motion that will save you. I just need you to be strong a few more days then Edward leaves and I will be able to finalize everything." Alice says has she wraps her arms around me pulling me into a tight hug. I allow her to keep me together while I fall apart in her arms. I can't do this much longer.


	10. Chapter 10

Jasper's POV

What the fuck is going on? Shortly after Edward took her out of the house I could feel a sharp pain explode in my chest. It nearly crippled me. I couldn't move for a moment. It didn't take me long to realize it was Bella. My Bella was afraid and I had to get to her. Alice must have seen what I was planning to do because she came charging into my room and pinned me to the bed. "If you love her do not go out there right now." She says to me trying to calm me down.

"What did you see Alice?" I ask her pushing her off me. I try to shake off the feeling to run and find her but it won't leave me.

She shakes her head no. "I can't tell you Jasper but if you go out there right now there will be severe consequences. I am begging you to stay put. I promise you that everything will be better soon. Just please stay here. I am going to go get her but you need to stay put."

Alice darts out of the room leaving me here frustrated and angry. The pain in my chest is getting worse. Whatever is going on with Bella it is getting worst. What used to be a sharp pain in my chest is now spreading to the rest of my body. It feels like my body is cracking around the pressure. I fall to me knees and grip on to the couch in my room. I need to get this anger out of me, the Major is pushing at my mind trying to get free and put an end to this pain. I take my anger out on the couch and rip it to shreds.

Relief. The pain is subsiding. I let out an unneeded sigh of relief and lay back on the floor. Whatever was hurting or scaring her is done now. I can still feel that something is wrong with her but it's better. It's not blinding, searing, all consuming pain right now. It's just a dull ache.

I sense Alice and Bella coming back into the house. Alice told me to stay put and dammit I'm still in the house. I run to the stop of stairs just has Alice is escorting Bella back into the house. Alice is holding Bella up and Bella has her head buried in Alice's shoulder. She looks so broken and fragile.

Bella looks up at me through hooded eyes and I feel myself losing to the Major. Someone hurt our Bella and they are going to die. I can't stop myself from projecting my emotions as Alice brings her up the stairs. I want to kill, I want to comfort, I want to destroy, I want to protect. When they get to the stop of the stairs I sense Bella is about to pass out, my projected emotions mixed with hers is too much for her. I catch her before she falls down in a heap.

"Bring her to my room Jasper then I need you to leave." Alice directs me. God I love how she feels in my arms even if this isn't the best of circumstances. I follow Alice nestling Bella in my arms. If anything tries to take her away from me I don't think I will be able to control Mars and he will break free. I feel Bella's shield come up around us and it makes me flinch for a moment thinking something is going to attack us. I feel Bella relax and that allows me to relax. It's just her instincts telling her to protect herself.

We go into Alice's room and the shield drops and Alice points to her bed. "Jasper please lay her down." She says quietly. Mars is beating into me. Someone is trying to take her away from us. No, it's just Alice. She is trying to help her not take her. I don't know how long I am standing here fighting with myself when I hear Bella's voice. "Jasper." She says weakly.

I look down at her but I can't seem to speak. She meets my eyes and I feel myself drowning in her. "Jasper you need to place me on the bed and leave the room. Alice and I have some girl things to attend too." How can she want me to leave her? She is obviously in pain and been hurt. She should want her mate to be with her and protect her. Dammit she doesn't even know I am her mate. Mars slams against me trying to take control. He wants to take control, take Bella, and get out of here. "Jasper I am fine." She says weakly. She is anything but fine that is painfully obvious.

Alice starts to slowly walk over to me. She has her hands in up surrender and she is trying to push calm to me. She knows the Major is about to come out. When she gets to me she lightly puts her hand on my arm. "Jasper, Bella is having a bad reaction to some blood she drank. I need you to let me take care of her now. Her husband will not like smelling another male vampire all over her." Her husband, that term slaps me across the face and pushes the Major back. She doesn't need her mate because she has a husband. I drop her on the bed and try to look anywhere but directly at her.

Bella smiles at me weakly. "It's fine Jasper. I just need some alone time with Alice."

"I'm sorry Bella. I saw you coming in the house and you looked so, you just looked, you were…., I'm sorry." I respond shakily and run out of the room. I run out of the house and manage to make it to the woods before I start to destroy things. I let the Major share in the satisfaction of destruction.

I smell her before I see her. I whip around and force the Major back in. "Uncle Jasper? Are you alright?" Renesmee asks me fearfully standing a few yards away from me.

I shake my head yes. "I am fine. I just needed to get some anger out." She frowns at me and walks closer to me. "What happened?"

"It's nothing why don't you head back. I bet Jake is worried about you running after a pissed off vampire." Renesmee chuckles that.

"Jake doesn't have to worry about me. You taught me how to fight so he knows I can take care of myself." I did teach her how to fight. It was some of the best times of my life. She was such an eager student and it was nice being around her. I still enjoy sparing with her and Jake. "What pissed you off? You can tell me." She says trying to convince me to open up to her.

"Your mom." I say quietly hoping maybe she didn't even hear me. I don't know why I said it. I should have kept that to myself. Renesmee gives me a knowing nod and looks me straight in the eyes pleading for more information. "She just came home from being with your dad and she doesn't look good." Dammit what do I have verbal diarrhea today or what.

"If it came down to it would you protect her? Would you save my mom? Regardless of who or what was hurting her." She inquires her voice cracking. She can cry unlike us and there are tears coming down her face. I dart to her and pull her into a tight hug.

"Renesmee I would die for your mom. I will protect her and save her if I need to. What is going on with her?" I need answers and she might just have them.

Renesmee cries into my chest for awhile and doesn't respond to me. After she is done she pulls back and looks up at me. "I don't know what's going on with her totally. I think dad is hurting her but I don't know for sure. I mean he loves her right? They went through so much to be together. How could he hurt her? But it's just a feeling I get. I haven't seen him do anything it's just a feeling." If he is hurting her I will kill him. "All the men leave tomorrow when I start my cycle. I will try to get mom to tell me what is going on. You need to watch my dad."

I will not be watching her dad. Alice and I are planning our big blow out tonight and I am going to be going to stay with Peter and Charlotte. We have been bickering nonstop. A few time Alice even planned us having a physical fight where Rosalie or Emmett would pull us off each other. For once my family not totally understanding what I am capable off has been a benefit. Anyone else would not have tried to pull me off and anyone else would have known I could have killed her a second with her gift or not. No one is going to be surprised tomorrow when I take off. "Renesmee some things are going to be happening that are going to confuse you but I want you to know that I will always take care of you and your mom. So if things seem strange just know that ok." I tell her hoping she will be able to understand what I am trying to say later.

She shakes her head and gives me a tight hug. "Thanks Uncle Jasper. I love you." She says into my chest. "I love you to sweetie. Now let's head back before they realize we are gone."


	11. Chapter 11

Bella's POV

I only have to go through tonight and tomorrow then he will leave. He has promised me I can stay for my daughter's cycle. Well I should say Renesmee brow beat him until he agreed to let me stay with her. I am thankful for that. I promised Alice I would not do anything rash until after Renesmee's cycle. She claims she has some plan cooking and I am willing to let her try, but if it fails I am going to find a way to take my life. I think I could easily light myself on fire. I could also go to one of Jake's pack members and beg them. I think that Seth would do this for me.

"Bella!" Emmett screams from downstairs. After Alice comforted me I went back to my room so I wouldn't upset Edward further. I don't want to risk his wrath but if I don't go to Emmett he will probably come up here so I should just save him the trouble.

"Yes Emmett.'" I yell back at him while I head down the stairs. He looks so excited. I can't help but smile. It's hard not to smile in his presence. He is just so happy. He is a ball of energy. I love him so much. He's the big brother I never had and nothing can ever change that. Even when Edward and the Cullen's left me years and years ago I knew that Emmett still loved me. Even when Edward took me away from my family Emmett called me every day, sometimes a few times a day.

"It's here Bella! They are all here!" He says almost jumping up and down with excitement. Esme comes out of the living room with a big smile on her face has well. "Come on you got to try them!" He says dragging me out of the house.

Emmett drags me to the pen he had made for the animals he ordered for me to eat. I feel bad. They spent so much money getting me these specialty animals when it's all a lie. I have no problem drinking blood. I didn't notice that almost everyone is out here now, I guess I would have if I had my acute vampire senses still. Carlisle is standing behind Esme hugging her from behind, Rose is standing next to Emmett with a big smile on her face, I guess her animals came too. My daughter is standing with Jake and she's trying to get the kangaroo's attention. Alice and Jasper are sending darts at each other with their glances. I don't understand what happened with them. They have been bickering all week, but just an hour ago they were fine when I was falling apart. The only person missing is Edward. It's a relief.

I look at everyone and smile shyly. I don't know what they want me to do. I look to Alice and speak to her with my mind. _"What do I do?"_

She frowns at me. "_You got to eat. If you don't at least try they will be suspicious not only that you need the blood Bella."_

Emmett jumps over the pen and catches a Tasmanian devil with ease. He breaks the neck of the animal and brings the body over to me. He hands me the animal with the neck pointing to me. I am almost salivating I am so hungry. I look around and I still don't see Edward. I grab the animal and sink my fangs into it. It's the first time I've eaten like this in 25 years. God, it tastes so good. The blood is pouring out and all I can think is I want more. I finish the animal quickly and throw the carcass down and look up at Emmett. I want more. The blood lust is taking over me and I want to charge past him to get another one. He sees that I am still hungry and jumps over the pen. There are few more Tasmanian devils but I guess he wants me to try something else. He grabs a Koala and brings it to me. This time he doesn't break its neck, he hands me the live animal. I quickly snap it's neck and dig in.

Before I can stop myself my body is wracked with dry sobs. I am so hungry. I knew I was starving but being allowed to eat like this is heaven and hell, because I know the moment he comes home he is going to punish me. When I finish the Koala I throw the body to the ground and Emmett quickly pulls me into a hug. "What's wrong?" He asks me softly petting me hair.

I dry sob into chest for a moment. I look up at him and he meets my gaze. "Thank you so much Emmett. You are the best big brother in the world." He smiles at me and kisses me forehead.

"We still got more for you to try. Rose has her own selection that she swears you'll love." He says with an easy smile. God I miss smiling easily like that.

Rose comes up behind me and hands me a red panda. "Here try this one. It's one of my favorite. You seemed to like the first two maybe the problem is that you have more exotic tastes."

I shake my head at her and grab the panda sinking my fangs into its neck. I haven't had this much blood in so long. I finish the panda and fall onto the ground. My body is not used to this much blood, I think it's rebelling. I can feel it moving through me. It's not rebelling, it's healing. The pain that I am constantly in is slowly fading. I can't seem to move though.

"Bella? Are you alright?" I hear out of the fog of my mind. I try to focus and I shake myself out of my trance and look up at Jasper who is knelling in front of me worried.

"Yes, I am fine. I think it was just a lot of blood at once." I look at everyone and they are nervous. "I am fine really. Thanks again. I liked them." I say weakly. Jasper caresses the side of my face and I can't help but lean into his touch.

"Bella! What is going on?" It's him. He is not happy. I quickly push away from Jasper and stand up. Emmett comes to stand beside me. I don't think he liked the tone of voice that Edward used with me.

I look at Edward and he is fuming. "I umm… Emmett….The animals came today and he wanted me to try them." I say weakly. I know he won't hurt me with all of them out here.

He examines me and I can tell he doesn't like what he sees. He then forces his gaze on Emmett. "I guess a thank you is in order for finding some food that my wife likes." He says trying to sound appreciative and nice but I hear the real him. "If you don't mind I want to spend some time with my wife before we have to leave tomorrow."

Everyone seems to understand him. All the other men are leaving their mates tomorrow and they want to spend the evening with them has well. _"Bella are you going to be alright?" _Jasper asks me through my open channel I have with me.

I don't risk a glance at him. "_Of course I will be. I'm just having an evening with my husband before he leaves and I get to spend time with the girls."_ I say then quickly close off the communication. Edwards grabs my hand and to an outsider it would look loving but he's holding on to tight. It hurts and I can feel my hand cracking. Even with the extra blood my body is nowhere near healed.

We get to our room and he shuts the door behind me then he flings me into the center of them room. "What the fuck was going on out there?" He snarls at me. I try to sense my family but they are all out enjoying one last night with their mates I assume. They are too far to hear me.

I don't make eye contact and I have a hard time keeping my voice from shaking. "I am sorry Edward. Emmett wanted me to eat and I couldn't tell him no. I just had a few small animals. You know I prefer it the way you prepare it for me but I couldn't say no." Please believe me.

Edward grabs my arm and picks me up pulling me up to his face. "I wasn't talking about the animals. We will get to that later. What the fuck was going on with Jasper? Why was he touching you?"

I freeze up. I look into his eyes and I see rage. "I don't…. Edward… I don't know…. He was just…. Worried…" He raises his other hand I flinch but it doesn't hit me. He rips my turtleneck off and throws me on the bed.

"That is it! I will not have you go unmarked any longer. I do not want any other vampire thinking that they can have you."

I start to push back on the bed. I have never resisted him before but he wants to take the one part of me that isn't for him. I put my hand over my neck. "no." I say meekly.

"What did you say?"

"No." I say a bit louder. He brings his hand up and brings it down over my cheek, followed by the cracking sound of my face.

"Did you say no to me? You would never have done that before we came back here. Maybe you being around them is bad for you. You are picking up bad habits. I am going to mark you Bella and there is nothing you can do about it." He growls at me.

"NO!" I scream this time. He takes a step back shocked. "I am not your mate Edward and you know that."

He lets out a spine tingling laugh. "I do know you aren't my mate. I killed my true mate decades ago."

"What?" I am so confused.

"A ran into her in 40's and at the time I wasn't has good at controlling my blood lust. I met her and I couldn't stop myself from taking her right there and then. When I meet you I thought I could make up for it by not killing my singer. I figured that my singer could be what my mate was to me if I made you what I needed. I thought I could mould you into what my mate was but you are worthless. You are nothing like her. But I am going to keep trying to make you what you are supposed to be for me." He sounds mad and wild.

I try to move further up the bed away from him. "Edward I am not her." I'm as quiet as a mouse but I know he can hear me.

His maniacal laughter fills the room. "I know you are not her. You aren't a quarter of the woman she was. When you were human you were more malleable. You have been the biggest disappointment of my entire life. I keep thinking I can make you perfect but you are so marred and pathetic. This is my last ditch effort to try and reform you. You need to try harder to be what I need."

He moves at me and I can't stop my mind for crying out. _"JASPER!"_ I scream out through my gift. Why did I call out to him? It's too much to process at once. I keep my hand over the left part of my neck with all the strength I have. Edward latches onto my arm and starts to pull it when there is a knock, no more of pound, on the door.

"Bella?" It's Jasper.

_"Ask for the book you loaned me."_ I beg him through my gift.

"Hey Bella, can I get that book back I loaned you? Alice and I had a fight and I'm leaving tonight." He asks through the door. I can hear him trying to keep himself together. I know that Mars wants out. He thinks that most of the family doesn't know about that part of him but I do. Alice has told me about it and I've seen it come out and it doesn't scare me like it should. _"I know I shouldn't be telling you this but Alice and I aren't really fighting she just needed me to do some things for her without Edward finding out. You can call me anytime and I'll come back."_ He says trying to reassure me that he's not disappearing. I am so thankful that Edward can't hear these conversations my gift shields them.

Edward growls and pulls away from me to open the door. I dig my nails into my neck and rip a huge chunk of my neck and shoulder out. I stay quiet has I pull it out so Edward won't hear me but I want to scream out in pain. I can't allow him to have this last part of me. I wrap it a shard of my sweater and grab the closest book to me. Luckily I have already been split open so the smell won't alert Edward until it's too late. I quickly put on a new turtleneck and meet Jasper at the door, keeping my face blocked by part of the door so he can't see that it's cracked.

"Oh hey Jasper. Here's the book you loaned me. Be safe." I say casually. I hand him the book and the part of me I can't let Edward have. _"Please Jasper don't open that shirt. Just put it somewhere safe and give it back to me when Edward isn't around."_

He looks at Edward then down at the book I am placing in his hands hiding the part of me under it. He takes them with him and Edward slams the door behind him. _"I will keep it safe."_ Jasper responds to me. I am able to relax. Despite what he will do to me tonight he will be unable to take that from me.

Edwards stares me down and I stumble backwards and I fall down onto the bed ready to accept my punishment. He sniffs the air and then rips of my new shirt. His eyes go to the gaping hole at my neck. "Where is it?" He growls at me.

I don't look at his eyes and I pretend I didn't hear him. "Where is it Bella?" I continue to ignore him. "You are going to regret this." He snarls at me has he pounces on me. I push myself deep in my mind and try to ignore what is happening to me. I know I am in for the worst night of my life, but it's worth it.


	12. Chapter 12

Alice's POV

After Edward took Bella back into the house I saw what he planned to do. I wanted to run in after her and stop it but I am weak. I should be stronger. I should be more willing to risk everything but I can't. Not when my mate is still a child and human. I know it makes me a horrible person and it's unforgivable but I just can't. I knew Edward was sick and messed up but I didn't know he was that far off the reservation. I had seen him kill his true mate. He wanted to change her and even tried but the second he tasted her blood he couldn't stop and he drained her. He trained himself relentless to be able to stand the scent and taste of human blood after that. When he first met Bella he thought he could make up for what he lost in her with Bella even though she was his singer. I tried everything I could to get her on the right path with Jasper but Bella seemed happy with Edward. I was torn between what she should have and what she did have. I will never forgive myself for all the wrongs I have done and once my mate is vampire I am going to go on rampage that will rival Maria and her armies and set this all right.

Jasper and I managed to make our last stand outside once they left. We faked some huge fight. To be honest I'm not even quite sure I know what it was over. We just did a lot of name calling. At the end he stomped his foot and said he couldn't be around his cunt of an ex wife anymore and I said good I hated him too. It worked. Everyone believed it.

"Alice?" I hear quietly outside my door. I know its Jasper. He's talking lowly so no one can hear him in my room. I open it and quickly let him in. He has a book and part of Bella in his hands, only he doesn't know what he has yet. He can smell it but it confuses him. She gave him the most important part of her and she doesn't even understand why she did it.

I give him a tight hug. "I'll miss you Jasper. Please be safe and I will keep in contact with you on the rest of what I need from you. Thank you so much for doing this and not asking questions."

He hugs me back. "You know I would do anything for you Alice." He lets go and I stand back. He pulls out the bundle that Bella gave him. "Should I give this to you to give to her tomorrow?" He asks.

I see the vision clearly. If he leaves it with me Edward will smell it out and take it. He will then shove it back into Bella and bite her. I know she would prefer death than him having that part of her. It will be very painful for her until she gets it back. I shake my head no. "Please keep it. When you come back you can give it to her. Please keep it safe. It's very important." I grab a case out from under my bed and open it for him to put it in. I shut it and lock it handing him the key. "Is everything done?" I ask him.

"Yes, I have the passports ready I just need the photographs. The farm is bought and the accounts are set up for the names on the passports. I made myself corresponding documents. Are you going to tell me the next step? Or what is going on?" He asks.

I want to tell him but I know it's best if he doesn't know anything yet. I know Bella doesn't want Edward to die for Renesmee's sake and at this point if I tell Jasper he will kill Edward. I have to keep him in the dark until this is done. "I can't tell you yet ,but I promise I will."

He frowns at me and looks down at the case. I pull the pictures out in an envelope and hand them too him. "These are the photos for the passports. In nine days Renesmee's cycle is going to end. The morning of the ninth day I need you to be at the field 10 miles from our house at 10 am. I need you to book two tickets using the Canadian passports to Paris leaving from Washington DC that night. Then using the American passports book a flight from Paris to Ireland. Make sure you forge the stamps that you need in those passports before you go. I will give you further details closer too. I need you to find your friend Oscar. I need him to come find me."

He gives me a confused look. "Oscar?" He asks me. I shake my head yes. "Please I need Oscar here no later than the middle of the 8th day. That should be enough time. Please just make sure you get him here. If you need to pay him take whatever you need out of my accounts."

"It's fine Alice. You have made me rich enough that I don't need to use any of your money." He says with a smile. I give him another hug. I am going to miss him. He's my best friend. "When will we see each other again?" He asks me.

I search my visions. "Not for a long long time Jasper, but we will be in contact. Everything is going to be better though." The vision of what Edward has decided to do to Bella tonight just hit me. "AHHH!" I scream out, unable to control myself. I fall to my knees and clutch my head.

Jasper is at my side in a second. "Alice what is wrong?" He is still trying to be quiet but it is difficult for him has his anxiety rises. I want to pull him to me but I know if I do I will crack and tell him everything. If I do that he kills Edward and Bella feels so guilty she kills herself. Why does she think her daughter would prefer her father alive to her mom alive and happy is beyond me. So I push him away despite how much it hurts. "Jasper you need to leave now." I beg him.

He's reluctant to leave but he grabs the case and puts the photos in his pocket and flies out of my room. We already packed up most of his things and they are in his truck. He told the family he was going to spend some time with Peter and Charlotte, which is the truth, just not for has long as he told them he would be there. I can clearly see how difficult this separation is going to be on them both. Bella just doesn't understand why she hates being separated from him but Jasper knows and he is going to a miserable person to be around for the week or so.

The next morning all the men are scrambling to leave the house. Renesmee is starting to act strange like she does every year and Jake is trying to "subdue" her until all the men leave. They have been locked in her room for 10 hours now and they are loud! I think even Emmett and Rose are blushing.

"Alice." Carlisle says behind me. I turn to face him and he comes up and gives me a hug.  
I have been working to look forlorn about Jasper leaving. "Don't you worry dear. You and Jasper will work things out and be friends again soon. Why don't you take this time to enjoy being with the girls in the family and I'll see if I can talk to Jasper."

I love him like a father and he always treats me like his own flesh and blood. He would have been an excellent father. I feel bad that he never got the chance. "Thanks dad, I love you."

"Take care of Bella. Make sure she eats. She hasn't left her room yet today." He stops talking for a moment and I can tell he is battling with something. I let him think it through without interrupting him even though I know what he wants to say already. "I normally am against human blood at all costs but Alice I think she going to need some to fully regain her strength. I got a lot bags of it from the hospital this morning and I want you to force her to drink three bags a day at least. There is enough for her have 10 a day if she is willing but I know she hates the taste of blood." Wow for my dad to suggest this is he is really worried.

I take a step back and I see it working. I give him my best smile. "It will be fine dad and don't worry it won't affect her or any of us. She will have no problem getting off the human blood when it is time."

He gives me another tight squeeze. "Good, I am just so worried about my girl. She looks…well she looks so… she's broken Alice and its killing your mother and me to see her like that. Just try to get her to eat."

"Don't you worry about a thing dad I am on it!" She is definitely going to need the human blood after what Edward did to her last night I think with a shudder. Carlisle leaves me to spend a few last minutes with his wife and mate.

The men are set to leave and Edward grabs me before they all take off. "Please see to my wife. She had quite a night." He says to me with an evil smirk. I push him of me and he leaves.

Jake comes out of his and Renesmee's room with a well loved smirk on his face. His hair is sticking up all over his head, his clothes are ripped to shreads, and he looks content. Emmett grabs him by the shoulder and gives him a noggie. "When are you going to make an honest woman out of my niece?" He asks him trying to sound like he is joking but there is a hint of threat under it all.

Jake blushes and pushes Emmett off of him. "When she lets me." He responds shutting Emmett up. I can't help but smile at his response. The men leave and I quickly take the stairs and walk to Bella's door. I am afraid to open it. I saw what he did to her.

"Bella, it's me Alice. I am coming in." I turn the handle and walk into the room. The curtains are drawn but it doesn't hinder my vampire eyes. The sight in front of me actually makes me feel queasy. I have never seen anything quite has horrible has this and I am a vampire.

Her body is ripped apart. Her arms, her legs, her head are spread over the room. Her torso is split up the center from the "loving" she received from Edward last night. I wanted to stop it but I saw what would happen if I came in. He would light her on fire and escape. This is horrible yes but I will get her out of this soon. She is a vampire and she is unable to die so they are twitching but she is too weak to put them back together. "Jasper." Her head whispers, I don't think she even knows she said his name. Her mind is gone and she is acting purely on instinct and her instincts want her mate to protect her and put her back together. The room is splattered with her venom and Edward's seed. This turned him on. That is the sickest part of the sight in front of me. "Bella I am going to put you back together." I say softly hoping not to jar her too much.

I pick her body parts back up. I start small with her fingers. Her body is so weak and depleted of blood that I am not sure that her hand will reattach to the fingers. "Bella I will be right back." I leave the room and run to Carlisle's office. I saw him put the blood in a fridge in his office. I pull out four bags and run back to Bella. She is unable to realize what is going on around her but I force her head to drink the human blood and I am able to reattach her head to her neck and torso, minus the gaping hole that she ripped out. It takes hours but I am able to merge her body back together. It is barely holding together and I prop her up on the bed and hand her a fresh blood bag. "Bella please drink this." I beg her holding the bag to her lips. Her mouth barely opens but I push her head back and cut the bag and hold it over her mouth dripping the blood into her. She has a hard time swallowing so I push her head back further making it a simple fall down her throat. "There you go Bella."

She drinks one whole bag. I pick up the last bag and puncture it putting it to her mouth. She has more control over her limbs now and she is able to hold the bag loosely to her mouth. She drinks quickly and throws her head back on the headboard behind her. "Alice?" She moans.

"I am here. He is gone. We have time now." I respond to her. She seems to relax and doesn't open her eyes. "Jasper?" She asks me.

Bella isn't fully with me yet. I can tell by the way her eyes are rolling in her head. Her vampire self wants her mate but Bella doesn't even know she wants him. "Jasper is with Peter and Charlotte. Don't worry he will be back soon." She relaxes at the sound of his name. Like a werewolf I can't see her future right now. She is fully driven by bloodlust and the need to rebuild and is subject to quick change much like a werewolf.

"Bella wait here." I demand and leave her room again running to dad's office. I thought four blood bags would be enough to bring her back but I was mistaken. She has gone far too long without blood for four bags to be enough. I grab another three and run back to her room hoping that no one notices. Renesmee is standing outside of her mom's door when I return. "Renesmee darling why don't you head downstairs and when your mom is ready she will come down."

Renesmee's chin nods toward the blood in my hands. "What's that for?" She asks me. I look down at the blood and clutch it closer to me. "Carlisle thought it would help your mom."

She smiles at me. "Gramps thought human blood would help her? Wow he must be worried if he's allowing that."

"He is worried honey. Now go downstairs and be with Rose and Esme. I'll be down with your mom shortly." I should be worried that Renesmee will try to take the blood but I know that Jake feed her before he left. I can smell him in her. He loves her so much that he gives her his most precious gift, his blood. I enter the room and shut and lock the door behind me. She is still muttering Jasper's name like some kind of prayer. I feed Bella bag after bag of blood. After seven bags she finally has control over her body and I see her future again.

a/n I promise it will stop being so violent and horrible for her here on out! Things are going to be looking a lot better. Usually I don't like to give out plot details but I feel like you all deserve to know that things are going to be getting better so thanks for hanging in through the bad!


	13. Chapter 13

a/n I want to thank everyone for reviewing my story last time. Sorry I don't have time to pm you all to tell you thanks but it really means a lot. I promise you all that good stuff is in the future, doesn't mean it won't be hard to get there but it's going to be better now.

Renesmee POV

"Please Jake just a little… Oh my god! Just right there! Jake! JAKE!" I can't control myself at all. Going into heat does that to me. It just takes over my entire body. All I want is sex, lots and lots of sex, which thankfully until I become fertile that is a service Jake is willing to provide. He is all too happy to provide that service actually. The main reason for wanting sex in the end is to procreate but Jake refuses to risk it. I understand it, I really do, but I want to give him a child so badly. No one knows what we would produce but I want to risk it.

Jake picks me up and falls back onto his hunches. "Renesmee…" He growls into my ear. God I love this man. I love this man so much. I love him more than I love anything and anyone. He's the only man I have ever loved and will ever love. He was my first and there will never be another man to touch me like he does. I know that my father doesn't approve of it but fuck him I have my soul mate, my imprint, my mate with me forever.

I remember the first time I went into heat. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life. I had no clue what was happening to me.

_We just recently moved. We just moved to northern Canada. I live with my family, Mom, dad, and I have our own house on the family compound. That sounds so pretentious but it's the best way to describe it. Gramps and Grammy live in the big house with Alice and Jasper. Rose and Emmett have their own home too, which is good because they go through walls like I go through shirts, which having a werewolf for a boyfriend means I go through them a lot. _

_ I'm not has old has I look but mentally I am still working on catching up to my body. I look to be about 18 when in reality I'm only 6. Wow that is creepy right? Well soon I am going to stop aging and I'm just going to be 25 for life. I will look older than both my parents. That is even creepier. _

_ I knew from the first moment I saw him that Jake was mine. Even has a baby I knew he was my Jake. When I was a baby I looked at him has my best friend, my babysitter, my protector. I had this strange fear of bugs, yes I know that is ridiculous I am a vampire human hybrid for Christ's sake but I am afraid of bugs. The first time I saw a spider and I started screaming my family thought it was ridiculous. Emmett and Jasper couldn't stop laughing even with Alice and Grammy hitting them upside the head. Rose actually thought it was kind of funny too but she didn't make fun of me like Emmett and Jasper did and do. Dad and Gramps were at work and mom held me on her lap and cooed over me. But Jake, he didn't laugh, he didn't poke fun at me, he ran in and killed the spider. He was my knight in shining armor, or my knight in flannel and jeans. After he killed the spider he took me off my mom's lap and showed my Charlotte's Web. He said it would help me like spiders more. It kind of helped but I still don't like bugs. _

_ The more I grew up the more I started changing how I saw him. I feel in love with him. He didn't force me into anything. Dad always felt that Jake forced himself on me. Jake sat me down a few months ago and explained to me that he had imprinted on me but that if I didn't want to be his girl friend ever he would be alright with that and he would just be my friend. He had been so careful with me since I was born. I knew he was attracted to me now that I have an adult body but he was nervous about it because in years I was still young. I leaned over and I kissed him. I told him. "I want to be your girl friend." We kissed for a bit longer but he never pushed it. We have been dating since then._

_ The last few days I have felt like my body is on fire. I feel electrified and all I want to do is jump him every time I see him but I need to keep myself from doing that. We haven't talked about taking our relationship that far yet. I just can't stop thinking about him. I have been having the craziest sex dreams and Rose told me to just go for it._

_ Ding Dong. That's Jake. He's picking me up tonight to go out for dinner and a movie. He lives in town even though Gramps and Grammy invited him to live at their home. They also offered him a lot of money since he's part of the family now but he refused to take it. He did however let Alice and Jasper invest the little bit of money he did have and now he has quite a bit. His apartment is so him. It's a small two bedroom apartment that has a large window that looks out at the mountains. Leah has her own place in the same complex and Seth has taken the other bedroom at Jake's place. I love being with the pack. Seth loves my family but Leah hasn't quite warmed up to them yet but they both like me. We all go running together and they don't mind when I go hunting on a run. _

_ I run down the stairs and throw the door open and Jake is standing on the front porch with a bouquet of lilies. He knows I don't like roses, their smell makes my nose hurt, but I like lilies and orchids. I jump up on him and give him a kiss. I wrap my legs around his waist and he chuckles into my lips. "Happy to see me?" He asks jokingly. We just saw each other in school today. Mom and dad insist that I go to school at least once so I learn what I need to. Luckily I am smart and remember everything so it's not difficult trying to cram 12 years of school into 6. We change schools every time I start to look to old. Jake has insisted on going to school with me. When I was in the younger classes he would hide outside the building. Once I started high school he enrolled with me. He managed to get all our classes together and everyone in our school knows we're crazy about each other. "I just missed you." I whisper into his ear._

_ I hear my dad approaching the door and I jump off of him quickly and turn around to face him. "I'll be back later dad. Jake is taking me out for dinner and we're going to catch a movie." Dad shakes his head and mom appears behind him. _

_ "Don't forget you have curfew. You guys can hang out at home after but you need to be back by 12. Have fun dear." She puts her hand out for the flowers. "I'll put these in water and put them in room. Have a nice night guys." Mom never had a problem with Jake and me which makes things easier for me. It is a bit weird that I know Jake used to love my mom and kissed her once or twice but I can tell by the look in his eyes that I'm the only person he ever wants to kiss for the rest of his existence. _

_ Dinner is good we both have a steak, mine a bit more rare than his. We don't always go out because he needs to eat so much that people look at us like we are crazy but he orders three of them and luckily the waiter doesn't say anything. The entire movie all I wanted to do is straddle him in the theater seat and take him. He keeps squeezing my hand and asking me if I was alright. I shake my head nervously and try to focus on the movie. I want him and I want him now._

_ We still have 45 minutes till I have to be back home and I convinced him to stop at a lake with me. We chose not to take a car tonight and just run under the moon light. We sit down next to the lake with the moon shining over us. He puts his arm around my shoulders but I want more of him on me. I turn my head and start kissing him. God this is what I need. _

_ Before my mind can tell me to stop I have pushed him on the ground and I am straddling him. I can feel that he is turned on, he's bulging into my core. I lean down and I take his lips. "Renesmee wait." He says pushing me up a bit._

_ "No!" I growl at him. I rip off his shirt and start to kiss his chest. "Renesmee we should wait." He tells me even though I can feel him getting harder._

_ "No!" I growl again. I manage to rip my shirt off. I want him in me now. I need him in me now. _

_ "Renesmee!" I jump up quickly and crouch over Jake. No one is taking my mate from me. I want him now. Alice appears from the woods. "Renesmee it's me Alice. You need to come with me."_

_ "Get back!" I yell at her getting ready to fight. She wants to keep me from mating with my mate. She is a threat and I am ready to take her out._

_ "Renesmee I am not here to take Jake. You're body is changing and we need to get you back home quickly." Alice tells me trying to stay calm._

_ I feel the heat raising and all I want is Jake. At this point I don't care if Alice is watching as long as she doesn't try to stop me. She takes another step towards me and I growl at her. "MINE!" I scream at her grabbing tightly onto Jake._

_ Jake tries to move from beneath me but I pin him down. I see Jasper, Emmett, Gramps, Grammy, and Rose come out of the woods behind Alice. Why are they all here? I see three more males. I want them but not like I want Jake. I know they can't give me what by body craves, warmth. I want his warm cock in me and I want him to fill me with his warm seed and give me a baby. Where the hell did that come from?_

_ Rose comes to stand with Alice and they start to walk up to me. "MINE!" I scream at them. They stop and look back at the men and Rose nods at Emmett and Jasper. Before I can react both of them are on me. They each have an arm and are pulling me off Jake. "Get the fuck off of me or I will kill you all!" I growl at them trying to get back to my mate._

_ "Renesmee you need to calm down." Jake says to me. He looks a bit confused but quite frankly I am too. _

_ My mind has a moment of clarity and I am afraid. I do not have control over my body. I start to cry. I look over at Grandpa and Grandma. "What is going on?" I ask them crying._

_ Grammy slowly walks over to me and Jasper and Emmett release me into her arms. She pets my head and cradles me into her chest. "It's alright darling. We think that you might be experiencing something that most vampires don't. You are partially human has well and this is a side effect of that blend. Your grandpa thinks it's like how animals go into heat. We need to get you home and away from males until it has passed. Your body wants to procreate and you won't have control over it much longer. Come on dear."_

_ The women surround me and get me back to the main house. My mom and dad are there when I get there. I start to snarl at my dad and he takes the hint and leaves. The next 9 days are torture. I am turned all the time but there is no release. They try to distract me but all I want is Jake._

"I got to be going soon." Jake says into my neck has he kisses it slightly biting into me. I let out a purr. I can't stop myself.

"No please stay Jake. Please." I beg him. He lifts himself above me and smiles at me. "I will see you soon, but you know I can't stay. You know I will call you every day." He better the only release I get is phone sex when I'm in heat.

"Please Jake stay. Let's try. Please I want to try." The smile that was on his face falls away and he leans down and kisses me softly. "I can't Renesmee." He sounds sad about it.

"If I say yes will you try?" I ask him. He gives me a confused look. "If I say yes to marrying you will you try?" I rephrase.

For a moment his face lights up then he realized the second part and I falls again. "We will talk about it when I come back. Right now you are so horny you are willing to say anything to make me stay."

I shake my head no. "I am not that far gone yet. Please Jake. I want to give you a baby, our baby."

He gets off the bed and starts to change. Once he's dressed he leans over and kisses me again. "We will talk about it when I get back. Now be good while I'm gone and try not to break anything in a tantrum this time." Last time I ripped apart my bedroom in sexual frustration.

I take a moment to look around the room. It's actually kind of trashed already. We have been going at it for hours. On the walls, the desk, the dresser, the bed, the floor, the bathtub, the shower, hell I think we made love on every surface of the room.

Jake's clothes are in the closet and I pick out one of his shirts and put it on and slip on a pair of my jeans. If I can't have him I want his smell at least. I inhale deeply and head outside to meet my family.

Mom's door is still shut. I walk over to it and knock. She doesn't respond coherently. I hear her voice and it sounds likes it muttering Jasper but that doesn't make any sense. Alice appears next to me with her arms filled with blood. "Renesmee darling why don't you head downstairs and when your mom is ready she will come down." Alice asks me.

"What's that for?" I ask her. I can smell that it's human blood but I want to know what it's for. Alice clutches the blood toward her thinking I am going to try and take it but I am full. Jake made sure of that I think with a smile. "Carlisle thought it would help your mom."

"Gramps thought human blood would help her? Wow he must be worried if he's allowing that." Now I am worried. Gramps has never suggested that any of us have blood before.

"He is worried honey. Now go downstairs and be with Rose and Esme. I'll be down with your mom shortly." I reluctantly leave mom's door and head downstairs. Rose and Grammy are in the kitchen making me food. They love cooking for me.

After a few hours mom finally comes downstairs. Her eyes are bright red and it takes me back for a moment. I haven't seen her with red eyes since I was baby and she was changed. "Mom?" I ask her. She looks at me and gives me forced smile. She has on a thick turtleneck sweater, sweat pants, and thick socks. She's shaking a bit and she's moving like every step hurts.

"Hi sweet heart. How are you feeling?" She asks me trying to put on a happy face even though I can tell something is seriously wrong.

I jump up and grab the other side of her. "I am fine mom, it's like usual, but I'm fine. What's wrong?"

"I'm fine sweetheart." She is lying straight to my face and she knows I know she is lying. "Mom…" I say in a warning.

She leans in a gives me a kiss on the cheek. "Everything is fine now dear. Your Aunt Alice brought me some blood and I am feeling much better." She looks back at Alice. "Everything is going to be better now I promise dear."

I want to believe her but I can't. She looks horrible and she smells strange. If I didn't know better I would think that she is missing a limb. I lead her to the couch and sit her down next to me. I snuggle into her side and hold her. "I love you mommy." I say to her.

She clutches me to her. "I love you more than anything Renesmee and don't you ever forget it." Something is wrong with my mom and I have nine days to break her down and make her tell me what it is.


	14. Chapter 14

Bella's POV

Three days without Edward. Three whole days without him controlling me. It hasn't kept him from calling me every day trying to call the shots but he can't. Alice knows the deal by now. If her plan doesn't work I am killing myself at the end of Renesmee's cycle. I can't do this anymore and if I try to leave him he will hunt me down until the day I die if not kill everyone I care about to get me to come back.

Human blood is surprisingly not as good as I thought it would be. I thought it would taste better than anything but it's just ok. I mean it's slightly better than the animal blood I drink but it's not so much better that I would kill for it. I guess I've never meet my singer so maybe if I smelled their blood everything would be different.

"Mom! Are you ready?" Renesmee asks bounding into the room I have inhabited. I couldn't face another night in Edward's and I room. It just reminded me to much of him so I moved into the only free room in the house, Jasper's. I like the feel of the room. It's very comfortable and relaxing. My daughter, Rose, and Esme thought it was strange but Alice helped me come up with a lie. We told them it was too hard for me to smell Edward every day. I know I am not right. I shouldn't still care for him and love him but he gave me Renesmee and he I did love him so much once. It's all just so hard to separate.

"Yes I am!" I tell her. We are going hunting together today. I haven't gone hunting in years now. I am really excited to track an animal and take it down. Renesmee has been insistent that I take her hunting and after Alice pumped me full of human blood I am strong enough to go now. I honestly think that a possum could have over powered me a few days ago.

We jump out of Jasper's window and run across the yard. We both find an animal we like and we start tracking them. I found a deer and I take off after it. I feel a bit rusty but I quickly catch up to it and take it down. It feels good to hunt again. It feels good to be full again. Alice is still a bit worried because of how long I went without proper nutrients but I feel so much better. I still have some mending to do before I am fully back together but I am doing great.

On the way back to the house I run into Renesmee. "Looks like you're doing ok with the blood now." She says to me. I know she knows something is up.

I smile at her and I'm glad I can't blush. "I guess I just needed a little push to get back into it. I enjoyed that very much." Renesmee comes up next to me and wraps her arms around my waist and leans her head on my shoulder. "Mom what is going on? I know something is wrong."

Those are some of the words I have dreaded the most from her. I don't want to bad talk her father to her and ruin their relationship but he is not treating me right. It took me a long time to come to that realization. Actually I think it took me getting back with my family to realize that. I thought I was the problem, that I wasn't good enough. I'm finally starting to understand that the problem isn't me it's him. "Darling I don't want you to worry about it. I am fine now, no I'm great now. Let's just enjoy the rest of the day."

Renesmee pushes off me and gives me a stern look. It's funny that my daughter looks older than me. She can almost put me in my place but I am still her mom. "Mom don't lie to me. Something is wrong and I think it has to do with dad. What is he doing to you?" I should have known my daughter would see past it all and figure out what the problem is.

I let out a long sigh and I pull Renesmee with me deeper into the forest going away from the house. I find a nice spot near a small pond and I take a seat pulling her down next to me. "Honey you know that I love you more than anything and so does your father right?" Renesmee shakes her head yes. "Well the past few years they haven't been the greatest with him."

"What do you mean haven't been the greatest? Does it have something to do with why you don't like blood or why you always wear turtlenecks and long sleeves?"

I can't look her in the eyes. I don't know if I should be doing this. I don't want to ruin her relationship with her father. I don't want to risk anyone in my family. I grab her hands and look her in the eyes. "Your father and I have had a difference of opinion and how I and we should live our lives. He doesn't like me drinking too much blood and has been limiting my intake."

Renesmee's eyes grow large and she looks at me confused. "Mom that is bullshit. He is keeping you from eating? He is killing you? Can't he tell that you are slipping further and further? Every day that went by you were turning almost more human. You were jittery and clumsy, your skin and your hair were dull, you were exhausted and looked sickly. What do you mean he has been limited you? He looked fine! Looks like has been eating whatever the fuck he wants!" I wince at her tone of voice.

"Honey your father was just limiting me. He thought it would help me with my control." Why am I rationalizing his behavior?

Renesmee stands up and stomps her leg. "Your control? Your fucking control? You are the most in control vampire I have ever met! When you were changed you didn't even crave human blood! Hell right now you are drinking human blood and you don't want it at all! Control my ass!"

I pull on her hand. "Please honey calm down. I realize that my control is fine. I didn't realize how bad it had gotten."

"Is he hurting you?" She asks me point blank. I look at her and I can't keep her eye contact and I look away. She grabs my face and makes me look at her. "Is he hurting you?" She asks again.

If I could cry I would. "Yes." I whisper. Renesmee takes off towards the house I run after her screaming for her to stop. She finally does and looks at me. "Where are you going?" I ask her.

"I am getting Grammy, Rose, and Alice. Then I am going to go find dad and beat the shit out of him!" She yells at me.

"No Renesmee. He is still your father. I don't want that. Please don't tell Esme or Rose I'm not ready for that yet. Alice knows. She been helping me cope with it for awhile now and she has a plan to get me out of it."

Renesmee eyes get angry. "What do you mean Alice has known for awhile? How long has this been going on?"

Oh god this is tough. I bite on my lip and fidget a bit. "It started about 35 years ago. It started with small stuff and just got worse."

"35 YEARS! Are you fucking kidding me? 35 years he has been keeping you from drinking and hurting you! No wonder you were getting so weak." I give her a nod and look down at me feet. I feel her hands on my shoulders. "Mom how did he hurt you?"

I look at her and shake my head. "Honey there are some things you don't need to see."

"Mom I want to know." She says staunchly back at me.

I shake my head no again. "No, Renesmee. I don't want you to see it. It's bad enough I have to look at it in the mirror every day. I don't want those images in your mind has well. I just want you to see me has you do."

"Is it like Uncle Jasper?" She asks me. I shake my head yes. It really is the best analogy for it. He is riddled in scars from bite marks and ripping of limbs too. "I am going to kill him." She says quietly.

I grab her arm. "No, he is your father. It is going to be alright now."

"Is this why you never told dad about your ability to talk to people with your mind?" She nods again. "I couldn't let him know that about me. I would have no freedom. The only hint of freedom I had was to talk to you or Jake or Alice with my mind without him hearing it."

"Why didn't Alice say something?" Her anger is beginning to boil over. I am going to have to let her have some time to cool down after all of this.

"She couldn't honey. Your father threatened her mate if she got involved. Her mate is just a human toddler. I told her not to risk him. Her hands were tied has well."

"He was blackmailing Aunt Alice?" I slowly shake my head yes. "I hate him."

I grab her into a hug. "Don't say that honey. I don't even hate him. He gave me you. How can I hate a man that gave me the most wonderful daughter in the world?"

She pushes away from me. "How can I love a father who has been hurting the most wonderful mother in the world?"

"You pretend I never said anything. I do not want you to tell anyone about this. Your father has made it clear that he will stop at nothing to keep things as they are and I don't want you telling everyone. Keep it a secret. You wanted to know and I told you. Your Aunt Alice said she has some kind of plan for me to get away from him. I can't just leave or he would hunt me down for the rest of my life."

"Not if I kill him!" Renesmee snarls.

"You will not kill him. He is your father Renesmee and he's the only one you are ever going to have."

Renesmee shakes her head no. "He is not my father. I refuse to call him that anymore. I have more than enough family with Uncle Jasper, Uncle Emmett, and Gramps. I don't need or want him in my life anymore."

"Please honey don't say that. I didn't tell you this so you would hate your father. You asked me for the truth and I gave it to you. Everything is going to be alright." It will be. I can just feel it. "Now please do not tell your Grammy or Aunt Rose about this. I don't want to talk to them about it."

She starts to fight me but give me a resigned shake of her head. "I will keep it a secret till dad comes back but if you think I am going to let him take you back to Wyoming and continue to beat you are out of your mind."

I nod in agreement. "I will not be going back to Wyoming with him. Now that I know what life should be like I can't go back to that again."

Renesmee launches onto me and starts to sob on my shoulder. "I love you mommy." She cries in to hair. "I love you too honey."

Renesmee continued to cry on me for awhile. When she was done she ran off into the woods to destroy whatever she could get her hands on. I know she is horny as hell to add to all of her stress. I wish Jake could be here but for her but I understand why he is afraid to try and have a child with her. They don't know what they would make and Jake loves her too much to survive without her if something happened to her.

Alice is standing on the front porch when I arrive back home and she smiles at me. She waves me over and I dash quickly, quicker than I have been in decades. "I am glad you told her. She needed to know. I was going to make you tell her so that my plan would work."

"Alice what are you planning on doing?" I need to know. I just need to be able to prepare for it. Alice jumps off the porch in an easy move and gracefully lands on her feet. "You are afraid that he will not leave you alone if you leave him right?" I shake my head yes. "You are right, he won't. I have seen it. He will follow you till the ends of the earth until someone kills him or you're his again. And he has not problem trying to kill anyone who gets in his way."

"I didn't need your visions to tell me that. He has told me if I ever think of leaving him or I ever tell anyone about him he will kill me or kill you or kill your mate or Jake. He's made it clear that he will find me no matter where I hide." I have been living with that fear for so long that it almost doesn't even scare me anymore.

"I am going to fake your death Bella. He won't look for someone he thinks is dead. I am going to set a fake trail for him to follow that keep him busy trying to find your murderer for years. Anytime you want you can come back and we can kill him." I have never heard Alice talk with such vehemence before. She wants him dead.

"No Alice, I don't want him dead. I know everything he has done to me but he is still my husband and the father of my child. I do not want him dead." She shakes her head in reluctant agreement. "Are we going to tell the family I am dead too? I don't want Renesmee thinking I am dead."

"I will do whatever you want Bella. It will kill everyone to think you are dead. I think we should tell them the truth once he leaves trying to hunt down your murderer. There might be a risk that they would slip to him at one point but by then you would be long gone and safe."

"Where am I going?" This all seems so crazy but it also seems like it will work.

"I am sending you with Jasper." She says quietly.

"With Jasper?" Why would she send me with him? Why would he want to leave him family and his life behind to go on the run with me?

She slowly shakes her head yes. "He cares about you and has been worried like the rest of us. He wants to help you. I haven't told him what happened yet and I am going to let you decide when and what you want to tell him. I have it all set up don't worry about a thing." Alice will make sure that every single detail is thought of long before her plan even starts.

She hands up a package and shakes it. "Peter sent me this today and I need you to rub it all over your skin a few times a day until it smells like you."

I take the package in my hands, shake it, and then smell it. "What is this?" I ask with her with a laugh.

She smiles at me. "It's a vampire's ash. Peter must have known that I would need this and he sent it to me. It's going to be the nail in the coffin that convinces Edward you're dead."

I really don't want to rub this all over my skin but I will. "So who will he think killed me?' I ask her.

"I am going to make it seem like an old adversary of his. He will blame himself for it." She says with a hint of glee in her eye. She is glad that he is going to hurt and quite frankly a little bit of pain might do him some good.


	15. Chapter 15

Renesmee's POV

I am going to kill that fucking ass hole! That rat bastard has been hurting my mom! I knew something was wrong. Why didn't I act on what I know innately? I want Jacob. I need him here with me right now but he can't come within 10 miles of me. If I get a scent of any male I will come apart in a lust induced bout of unrestrained sexual need. I need my mate with me. I need him to make me feel safe and to make me know that it's all going to be ok.

Why hasn't Aunt Alice told anyone? I understand that she is worried about her mate but this is her best friend we are talking about. She loves my mom. They were inseparable when I was growing up and she was the only one that visited mom when they were living away. I just don't understand how she could allow my mom to be hurt like that if she could have told Gramps or Grammy and they could have put a stop to it. Mom says she told Alice not to do anything but she should have known better. I try to put myself her shoes. If I had to choose Jake life or my mom getting hurt I don't know what I would do. I can't lose Jake. He's my heart, my soul, my world but I couldn't allow my mom to get hurt. God I guess I do understand why she did it. If someone threatened Jake and I thought they could actually kill him it would immobilize me. I could never start something that would end in Jake's death.

I just need to hear his voice. I grab my phone and call him. He picks up on the first ring. "Jake." I say pitifully into the phone. I know he can hear the tears in my voice.

"What's wrong sweet heart? Why are you crying?" He sounds so concerned.

"Are you near my dad?" I can't have him in his hearing range. "You're family is out hunting. Seth, Embry, and I are heading out downtown to go to a bar and have a little wolf time. What's wrong?" When I go into heat he and the pack always go out a let out a bit of guy steam. It usually involves a lot of alcohol. Some of the other wolves like to hook up but I never worry about Jake doing something like that to me.

"Honey you were right. Dad has been hurting mom. He hasn't let her eat and he's been hurting her. She won't show me what he did but she said it was like Jasper. He made her look like Jasper Jake. I need you to come back. I need you." I can't stop myself from sobbing onto the phone.

There is a long pause on the other line. "Renesmee you know I can't be around you right now. If I come home you will be unable to control yourself."

"Please Jake, please try. I need you and I can't go back in there and face my family without at least seeing you." This imprint mate thing can be complicated. I never felt pain the way I do when he's gone. It feels like there is a hole in my chest and it's gapping. I just want him with me to help this pain in my heart.

"Renesmee… you know I love you more than life itself and if I could I would be with you in a moment but I'm afraid. Alice has never been able to see what happens to you once you decide to get pregnant. Your future just goes black. I can't risk you. I can't live without you."

"Jake I promise I will not jump your bones if you can come for just a few minutes. I need you Jake. I have never needed you more. I feel like I am falling apart." I feel bad guilting him into coming to see me but I need him.

He lets out a long sigh on his end. "I'll be there in less than an hour. I will find you just stay where you are and we can talk about this."

"Thank you Jake." I whisper into the phone before he hangs up. I know he will help me. It hurts so much. This pain is actually putting a damper on my sex drive.

I sit down in the field and I wait. He is there in 45 minutes. He comes in his wolf form and stops quickly in front of me. He nuzzles me with this furry face. I cry into his neck. I love his warmth. It's filling the gaping hole in me. "Jake." I whisper over and over again into his mane.

He phases back into a man in front of me and quickly puts on a pair of shorts. He grabs me into a tight hug and kisses the side of me face. "Renesmee what happened?" He asks me softly.

I turn my head and I start to kiss his neck. I kiss up his neck and try to get to his face but he grabs my head and stops me. "We can't Renesmee. Now tell me what happened."

I don't want to let him go but I know I need to or I won't be able to stop myself. I take a few steps back and take in a deep breath to steady myself. "Mom told me the truth. For the last 35 years he has been starving her of blood telling her she needed to have better control over her blood lust. He has been physically hurting her too. I asked her to show it me but she said no. So I asked her if she looked like Jasper bad now and she said yes. She only wears turtlenecks and long sleeves Jake. He has been really hurting her."

Jake starts to growl. "Do you want me to kill him?" He asks me seriously. I let out a frustrated growl myself. "I want to Jake. I really do but mom said no. She said not kill him. She said that Alice has some kind of plan. I want him hurt so badly. I want to rip him to shreds and put him back together just to rip him apart again. How can she not hurt him for what he has done to her?"

He slowly walks up to me making sure I can take it. I try not to launch on to him. "Your mom has always felt and the done opposite of what any sane person would do. But she is my best friend and your mother, if she tells us not to kill him I won't, but I swear to god the moment she lifts that order the others will have to fight us to rip off his head."

"Promise me that you won't tell let dad know that we know." He shakes his head in agreement. I can feel myself starting to physically need him. It's building inside me like a bomb ready to explode. "Please tell me you brought a condom because I need you Jake and I need you now."

Jake blushes and reaches into his pocket. "Is it safe?" I know what he is worried about. His wolf strength might rip right through it and my vampire venom might eat right through it. "I really don't know Jake." I would do anything to be with him but I can't lie to him.

"If I change my mind and I get nervous I get to stop and you can't force me to." Oh thank god he is going to let me get some of this need out. He's only wearing jean shorts so it shouldn't take me long to get him naked. I rip of my clothes not caring that they are destroyed now. For the first time since I have gone into heat I am actually going to be able to fuck some of the need out of me. This is good it means I am getting him a step towards considering letting me give him a child.

I push him down on the ground and I leap on him. I'm lucky he is a wolf or he would not be able to handle me right now. In fact I would probably kill him if he wasn't. I easily rip his shorts off. I hope Embry or Seth has a change of clothes for him when he goes back. I don't need or want foreplay right now I just want him. "Hold on a moment Renesmee." He says with a laugh. I look down he rips off the top of the condom wrapper and puts it on. He is bit awkward with it because normally we don't need any kind of birth control. "Hurry up Jake I can't wait." I beg him.

He finally gets it on and grabs my hair and wraps his around his fist pulling me down to him. I crush my lips on his mouth and plunge into him like I want him to plunge into me. I sit up on my knees a bit and grab him and aim him into me. I plunge back down on him and let out a moan. I don't like how he feels wrapped in latex but it's good enough to give me what I want. I start by slowly moving up and down on him but it doesn't take me much time to quicken the pace. My body is finally getting some release. All that tension that was building in me has an outlet. Jake tries to move up and kiss me but I growl and push him back down. He doesn't take that well and quickly flips and puts me under him. He pounds into me harder and faster and I just let myself go. Renesmee no longer exists. I am just lust and need now.

I cum hard and violently and I let out a loud cry. "Jake!" I scream out and I lie there just letting my muscles turn to goo. I don't want to move. I just want enjoy this moment. He quickly pulls out and grabs the condom and rips if off. He inspects it and I can't help but laugh. "We good?" I ask him.

He shakes his head. "I think so. It was starting to disintegrate though. I don't think we should try that again much longer and could have been a different story." I want it to be a different story.

Jake leans down and kisses me softly. "I need to go now Renesmee before you recover. I love you so much. I'll call you when I get back to town." He jumps up phases and runs out of the field. I lie there content for the moment. It doesn't' take long for the need starts to build again and I let out a loud growl. I hate going through this.

Back at home mom is waiting on the porch for me. I jump over the railing and land next to her. She takes a deep breath. "You smell like Jake." She says to me.

I blush and hide a smile. "I called him. I needed him mom." I don't think I need to say more she knows why I'm upset. She stands up and pulls me into a tight hug. "He knows mom. I had to tell him. I couldn't keep it from him."

My mom pats my head. "Oh my sweet baby girl I would never ask you to keep something from your mate. I knew once I told you that you would need to tell him. Will he keep it from your father?" She asks me.

I shake my head yes. "He will because I told him too." Mom relaxes under me and gives me a quick peck on my forehead. "Come on honey we are having a girls night."

We head inside and Grammy has a bunch of movies spread out over the coffee table and a pitcher of cosmos and apple martinis. They may not be able to eat or drink human food but vampires can drink alcohol as long as they purge it back later. It takes a lot but they can get a buzz going too. For me I don't need to vomit it back up and I need a lot less to get buzzed. It can actually help the need to drink it away. The girls usually only drink with me during my cycle but I know that Jasper tends to drink a lot and Emmett likes to go out and party a bit. Jasper seems to drink to cover some kind of pain in him. I'm not sure what the pain is but I can see it in his eyes. He seems lost and heartbroken. I want to ask him what's wrong but anytime I almost do there is a look in his eye that keeps me from asking.

All the girls sit down on the couch and Grammy starts to pour the cosmos for us and we all relax and start our movie fest. I sit in the middle of the large couch with mom on my left and Rose on my right. Alice and Grammy are taking the smaller couch next to me. Rose keeps sniffing. "Bella what is that smell? Are you hurt?" She asks sniffing the air. Now that she mentions it mom does smell strange.

Mom tenses next to me. "I am fine Rose." Rose looks at her and sniffs the air. "No Bella it smells like you are dismembered." Grammy starts to sniff the air too. "You're right. Bella are you sure you're alright?"

Alice looks right at my mom and mom's eyes dart from Alice to me. "I am fine I just tested something on myself and I'm fine now." Grammy jumps up and runs to Bella's side and sniffs her. "What did you do honey?" She asks her worryingly.

Grammy sniffs mom again and smells the center of the scent which is the left side of her neck. She starts to finger mom's turtleneck but Bella grabs her wrist. "It is nothing Emse. Please don't worry. Let's juts get back to the movie. I promise everything is alright." She's lying and I intend of finding out what it is later.

After three movies and three pitches of drinks I let out a loud yawn and head to bed. I can sleep but I don't need it. During my cycle though the need drains on me and I actually need it. All of us go off to our rooms to enjoy some alone time. Sometimes we just need to sit somewhere and not move and just shut down. I know they all do it. I change into a pair of Jake's boxers and tshirt and I inhale deeply. I love his scent all around me.

It's been about an hour everyone should be situated in their rooms now. I creep down the hall to Jasper's room where mom has been living. She has refused to sleep in her and my father's room. She told everyone it was because she didn't want to have to smell him because she would miss him. Now I know it's because his scent must sicken her. I want to catch mom off guard. I know that is probably horrible but I want to know what is going on. I open the doors and just walk in. Mom is standing in front of the mirror looking at her neck. She's only in her underwear and I get to see her body for the first time. I stifle a scream. "Mom?" I ask her. She whips around and grabs her neck hiding it from me. "Renesmee!" She shouts at me.

I slowly walk up to her and touch the scars on her back. She looks like she has been a vampire punching bag. Her back is scarred and the right side of her neck is so mangled that I can see why she wears turtle necks all the time. Her limbs have creases on them where dad must have dismembered her before. I grab her arm and pull it away. The left side of her neck where her mating scar should be there is a gaping hole. "He did this to you?"

Mom covers her neck again. "No I did this. He wanted to mark me and I couldn't let him. He wasn't my mate. I ripped it out and got it to Jasper to take out of the house before your father could mark me."

"So dad isn't your mate? I thought you guys said you were." Well when I think back on it was dad that said they were mates, mom never agreed to that.

"No, we are not mates. There was a time that I loved him enough to be my mate but after everything…." She doesn't need to finish that, I know what she wants to say. After everything she can't love him like that anymore.

"Mom, he has… mom your back… your neck…." I look at her front her chest is bitten has well. "Even your chest and your limbs. He did this?" She slowly nods her head. I pick up a throw blanket from the bed and wrap it around her. Once I get it around her shoulders she grabs the ends and snuggles in. I can see her take in a deep breath and it seems to relax her. Why would Jaspers scent make her feel so relaxed? Mom lets out a muffled purr. Did she just purr like I do with Jake? This is a can of worms I don't need to investigate tonight. I have had enough earth shattering revelations today.

Mom doesn't reply about my comments on her body and I escort her to the bed. "Will you lay down with me while I sleep?" I ask her. "Of course honey." She digs through her clothes that are in her duffle at the end of the bed and pulls out a tshirt and sweatpants. She puts them on and gets into the bed next to me. "Go to sleep sweet heart. I'll be here in the morning." I know she will be. She's always been there for but now I need to be there for her.


	16. Chapter 16

a/n sorry it took me so long to post and I'm sorry if this one has more grammatical errors than normal I didn't do a lot of proofing. Enjoy and reviews are appreciated!

Alice's POV

I am glad that Jasper and Bella can't see what I have seen. If they could see how happy they were supposed to be all of this would hurt so much more. They were going to be an amazing pair. The kind of love and happiness that not even all mates can hope to have. They just fit each other perfectly. The first day I saw them together I drew a picture and I ran to Jasper to show her to him. His excitement mixed with mine made us positively giddy. It's quite a funny sight seeing Mars laugh in giddy excitement, to the point of giggling.

I didn't want to tell Jasper at the time because I wanted it to be a surprise but they would have had a child, they would have had Renesmee. It would have been under a completely different set of circumstances but the end result would have been the same. Jasper would have insisted that Bella stay human until she graduated high school so that she could experience that but they had always agreed that he would change her after she graduated. Jasper doesn't force Bella to stay away from Jake and it actually helps us have a better relationship with the wolves. Unlike Edward, Jasper would not have been able to resist sleeping with her while she was human. She would get pregnant during her senior year and Carlisle would have had to tell Charlie everything. Also unlike Edward Jasper doesn't force her to get married. They do eventually but it's when she is ready. Renesmee is born and Jasper changes Bella. Renesmee is really cute has a blonde. Renesmee and Jacob still imprint and are still happy together. I wanted Jasper to have a daughter. He would have been a wonderful father. He would have been so much better than Edward. Jasper and Jacob would have had a great relationship and Renesmee never would have been afraid to marry Jake.

So many different paths and lives. It hurts my head sometimes to have to process all the things that could have happened and should have happened. I just wish my best friend could have had the daughter he was meant to have and that my other best friend was happy with him.

Tomorrow is the big day. The day that all my planning comes into action. I know it will work. I have seen it work. It doesn't mean it doesn't stress me out and make me worry. If this does fail Bella is going to kill herself. She doesn't want to look over her shoulder for the rest of her life and she doesn't want to risk anyone. Bella is the most stubborn self sacrificing person I know.

I've seen him coming. Oscar should be here in a few minutes. I just got to keep Rosalie and Esme from seeing him. I think the amount of garlic that Bella has been cooking with should help. She doesn't want them to figure out what is wrong with her and she has been cooking food for Renesmee hoping that the smell will keep them from smelling her wound. It's worked so far, they haven't figured it out.

"Alice?" I hear below my window. I open it and jump and land gracefully next to Oscar. I give him a tight hug. "How are you doing pixie? It's been a long time since I have seen you! I was so excited when Jasper told me you needed to see me. He looks like shit? What is going on with him?" Oscar has always been the kind of person to speak his mind. He was one of Jasper's soldiers that he made for Maria. He got out a few years after Jasper and they reconnected. He's shorter than Jasper and he has dark hair and blood red eyes. I think he was from Venezuela originally. He has a great sense of humor and we kind of had a fling a few decades ago. Then we both kind of feel out of it. Jasper and I, while we were together, had our fair share of flings.

"Oscar I am so glad you came. Yea Jasper hasn't been doing so great lately but we are going to work to fix that." He follows me out into the woods. "I hope that your gift is still working Oscar."

He lets out a hardy laugh and smiles at me. "It's better than ever!"

"I need you to do a few things for me here and I am going to be asking a lot of you for a few years. I will pay you handsomely for your work and be forever in your debt." I tell him.

"Don't worry about it Jasper already tried. I don't need any money. You helped me with a few investments and trust me I am doing fine. So what do you need?"

"I need you to make scents of three distinct vampires. I need you to have them originate from the ocean and come out here. Then I need you to make a trail that goes around the world with those scents. The vampire I am tricking is not great at tracking so it shouldn't be difficult."

Oscar nods his head. "I can do that. Lucky for you I am great at a wild goose chase. I will keep your opponent occupied for years. Any vampires smell in particular you need me to mimic?"

I shake my head no. "No, just make it look like a group attacked. I need you in this field tomorrow. There is a female vampire that I need you to help mask her scent along with mine. Meet me at the house at 9 am and mask my scent to the field. I will then set up and you will need to mask hers and Jaspers. Then take off like the wind. The vampire we are tricking is gifted. His name is Edward and can read minds. If you ever meet him make sure to never think of this moment or any relating to this because he will pluck it out of your head." Oscar is smart he'll make sure to keep this a secret.

"Oh that little bastard? I never liked him much. He had quite an attitude and he thought he was hot shit. I could never figure out what Carlisle saw in that boy." Edward has not made many friends in the vampire community and I hope that will help me and ultimately help Bella.

"Thanks for doing this again Oscar. I wish I could offer you somewhere to stay for tonight but I can't risk the others sensing you."

Oscar moves towards me and grabs my hand. "That's fine. Do you want to spend the night with me?" He asks me hopefully.

I smile and shake my head no despite all the good memories we have. "I can't Oscar. I've seen my mate and I just can't." He understands the importance of a mate. Even though I have yet to meet him and he's not old enough to truly be mine I can't cheat on him.

"Well you can't blame me for asking. I'll be tomorrow morning to take you there. You will need to stay with me or I won't be able to mask your scent."I shake my head in agreement and jump back up to my bedroom window.

There is a knock on my door. "Come in." I say towards the door. Bella and Renesmee come in through the door. "What's wrong?" I ask them. They look nervous and scared. I hope Edward isn't planning on coming home early. I wouldn't be able to see it if he does because he will be traveling with Jake and the rest of the wolves.

Bella gives me a weak smile and Renesmee holds on to her moms arm. "I just wanted to know what was going on tomorrow. I want to be prepared and I want Renesmee to know what is going on. I don't want her to have to worry about me when I disappear."

Of course she wouldn't. She loves her daughter so much, enough to die for her. I motion for them to sit down. "Tomorrow morning I want you two to go to town to go shopping. When you are 10 minutes out you will see me in the field to your left. Renesmee I want you to actually go through all of this so you can think of it so your father can hear it. I want you to look at your mom and say you smell something you want. Then jump out of the car and track it deep in the woods. When you come back it will look and smell like your mom is dead. I want you to run back here and put on the greatest performance of your life."

Renesmee tightens her grip on Bella's arm and looks up at her. "Where will mom go? Is she going to be alright?"

"Your mom is going to be just fine. Jasper is going to take her away I already have it planned out. I don't want you to know where yet in case you slip. Don't worry she is going to safe." With Jasper with her no one is going to get to her again I want to say but I need Bella to come to the conclusion herself that she loves him. "Now why don't you two go spend the rest of the evening together. You won't see each other again for quite some time." It will be safer for Bella to not contact any of us for awhile.

Bella's POV

I am so nervous I can hardly keep my hands from shaking. I can't believe today is going to be the day that I am free. I have imagined it, dreamt about it, fantasized about it, but now it's actually coming true. Alice reminded me not to bring anything with me and I'm fine with that. All the clothes I own are picked out by Edward from my shoes and socks to my underwear and dresses. I don't want any reminder of him once I finally get away. I wish I could take Renesmee and Jacob with me but I don't want Edward to know I'm alive. I don't him to hunt me.

I look in the mirror one last time trying to calm myself. Red eyes stare back at me. I haven't had red eyes since I was turned and it scares me bit. Alice has been forcing me to drink the human blood that Carlisle got for me. I am not back to normal totally yet but I am a lot better. Some of my scaring has even healed. Edward called me a few days ago and lectured me.

_My phone starts to ring and I look down at the caller id and it's him. I shutter and I pick up the phone. "Hi sweet heart how are you?"_

_ "Tell me you are not drinking human blood Bella!" He yells at me. I flinch and remind myself that he isn't here to hurt me. "I am sorry Edward. Carlisle brought some home and has insisted on me drinking it. Alice, Rosalie, Esme, and Renesmee have been forcing me to drink it."_

_ He growls into the phone and instinctively I want to hide. I know he isn't here but his growl scares me. "When I get back we are going home and you going to detox. You will not have any blood until your eyes are back to normal. You should be ashamed of yourself Bella. You know better than to go down that dangerous road."_

_ "I'm sorry Edward they made me drink it because they were worried about me. I am doing a lot better and I'm healing well." _

_ "Healing? Healing from what my dear?" He doesn't like it when I accuse him of hurting me. I stay silent. "When I get home we will be talking about this dear and I will be reminding you of your duties." And he hangs up._

I stood shaking in Jasper's room for hours after that conversation. If I am still here when he gets back he is going to kill me I can feel it. "Mom are you ready to go shopping? I want to get some clothes for a vacation that Jacob and I are going to take." Renesmee says cheerfully from the hallway.

"Yes honey I am just getting my purse." I grab my purse and I meet her in the hallway. She looks just as nervous as me. We breeze down the stairs and I stop and give Esme a hug. "We'll be home later mom. I love you." I want to tell her how much I will miss her and what is about to happen but I can't.

Esme smiles at me and gives me a kiss on the forehead. "Have fun Bella. When Edward gets home I'll try to talk him into staying a few more weeks. I love you too."

Rosalie left earlier to go hunting and I didn't get the chance to tell her good bye. We head to the car and I get in the driver's seat and give Renesmee a reassuring smile. "I love you honey. I will miss you so much." I tell her.

Renesmee gives me a weak smile and grabs my hand. "I love you to mom and I will miss you more. Please just be careful. I wish you would just let us take care of dad so he can't hurt you anymore."

I shake my head furiously. "No Renesmee. He is still your father and my husband despite everything. This is best. No one dies and he will let me be. Even if I left him and you all scared him into giving me up I would just have to wait until the day he decided to come back and take me."

"I can't be friendly to him when he comes back. I don't love him, I hate him." Renesmee snarls under her breath. I look at her and caress her cheek. "Honey you have eternity to forgive him and find a way to love him again. If you kill him you will never get the chance. Now please promise me that you won't kill him."

She reluctantly shakes her head in agreement. When we are at the field that Alice told us about Renesmee looks at me and says. "Mom I'm hungry. Can you pull over? I think I smell mountain lion and you know how much I like them." She says with a wink.

I smile at her and pull over to the side of the road. Renesmee leans in and kisses me cheek. "I love you mom."

"I love you too honey now go get some breakfast." I say pushing her out of the car. I lay my head back against the car seat for a moment. This is it. This is the moment my life changes forever. Alice told me to wait here until she came to the car door.

I feel the door open before I look over and see Alice and a male vampire next to me. Alice has a big smile on her face. "Come on Bella it's time for you to die." She says with a laugh. I smile at her and jump out the car. "This is my friend Oscar he is going to help me fake your death."

We walk to the center of the field. "Bella I hate to ask this but I need to rip off your hand and spread your venom around the field." I don't flinch and I rip it off myself and hand it to her.

"Don't worry it's not the first time it's been taken off. Just spread the venom and bring it back." Oscar holds on to Alice and they walk around the field setting up the scene of the fight. I can't smell Alice but I can smell three vampires that aren't here. Alice told me about Oscar's gift so I know he is manufacturing these mystery vampires' scents. When she is done she hands me my hand I hold it to my wrist until it reattaches itself. Alice throws me a bag of human blood and I quickly drink it hoping it will help my injury.

Alice starts a fire and pours the vampire ashes into the fire. I have been scenting them for over a week and they reek of me. I have been rubbing it on my skin and leaking my venom in it. Alice looks up at me with a glint in her eyes. "You're dead now Bella." I hear a truck pull up behind my car and I whip around praying it's not Edward. I look back at Alice ready to run if I have too but she gives me a nod and raises her hand to the truck to stay put. "Come on Oscar get us back to the truck and make sure to keep Jasper's scent from getting into the field."

Jasper. Jasper is here. He is going to take me away from this hell. I grab onto Oscar's other hand we walk to the truck that just pulled up. By now I should be smelling Jasper and I wish I could. He makes me feel calm but Oscar is blocking Jasper's scent. "Don't get out of the truck Jasper I don't want to risk any of your scent getting in the field." Alice yells towards the truck. Before I can grab the handle Alice pulls me into a tight hug. "Bella I am so sorry about everything. I wish I could have helped you decades ago but my hands were tied. I hope you can find the happiness you deserve. I love you like a sister Bella and I will miss you so much. Do not try to contact us I will contact you when it is safe."

"Alice I don't blame you for anything. There was nothing you could do, this here is more than I ever could have hoped for. Please take care of my daughter. I love you too."

Alice lets go of me and I grab the door handle to the truck and I look at her one last time and smile and open the truck and take a seat. I inhale deeply and relax. Jasper. I roll my head to the side and smile at Jasper. "So you ready to get out of here?" I ask him with a smile.

Shock is rolling off of him. "What's wrong Jasper?" I ask him. He is projecting and I can feel actually feel my mouth open in surprise.

"Your eyes, they are red." I smile at him. "Carlisle thought it would be best if I ate human blood to regain my strength."

"You're injured. I can smell it. What's wrong?" Jasper asks me growling. My hand moves to my neck without me thinking about it. "Do you have what I gave you the night you left?" I ask him.

Jasper turns around and picks up a case from the back seat of the truck and puts it in my lap. "Alice gave me this case for it and told me to take care of it for you. What's going Bella? Why did you just fake your death?"

I know if I tell him he won't leave and he will wait for Edward and kill him. "I will tell you when we get where we are going. Please we need to drive." I tell him urgently. Even when Edward left for Renesmee's cycle I still felt tense, nervous, and in pain, but now for the first time in nearly 50 years I feel whole and complete. I am safe.


	17. Chapter 17

Jaspers POV

I have no clue what the fuck is going on! I show up to this field just like Alice asked me too. When I arrived I felt my instincts kicking it. I smelled three unknown vampires and Bella. I felt myself start to growl. There are three unknowns with my mate. I rip at my seat belt to jump out of my truck. Has I get closer I start to smell Bella in smoke. No! Please not her! I slam the brakes on at the field. I am ready to kill whoever the fuck touched my mate. I look over in the field and the first thing I notice is that Bella is alive. I can relax a bit, only just a bit. She is alive but there is a fire burning next to her. I then assess the field. Alice is with her. I didn't smell Alice when I pulled up. I look over and Oscar is there. I let out an unneeded breath I was holding. That is the vampires I am smelling. He was making their scents. It is fine. I still want to get out of the truck and check Bella over. Alice raises her hand and gives me a signal to wait a moment. They move across the field and I notice that Bella isn't moving with the same clumsiness she had been the last few weeks that I have spent with her.

Bella says good bye to Alice and jumps into my passenger seat. "So you ready to get out of here?" She asks me with a huge smile.

What the fuck is going on? "What's wrong Jasper?" She asks me with her jaw actually dropped in shock like she is the one who is surprised. I must be projecting too much.

Then I notice something different about her. I was too worried about her safety to truly look at her details. "Your eyes, they are red." She gives me a sweet smile. "Carlisle thought it would be best if I ate human blood to regain my strength."

I inhale deeply. I have missed her scent so much. After having that time with her it made it harder to be separated from her even more. I realized while I was away that I can't live without her again. We are not designed to be able to live without our mates. It's a miracle I had been able to do it at all over the past 37 years. I think the only reason I survived it is from drinking and reading her letters. "You're injured. I can smell it. What's wrong?" I can't help growling. I am worried about her. Once I find out who hurt her I will fucking kill them!

Her hand moves to her neck and I can tell it's instinct. She doesn't think about it she just moves there. At least I know where she is injured, now all I need to do is find out who did it. "Do you have what I gave you the night you left?" She asks me.

I turned around and grab the case that Alice gave me. She told me to bring it with me and to keep it safe. I have kept it safe. It hasn't left my side since I got it. I can smell her on it. It gave me comfort for the 10 days I was separated from her and Alice said Bella was comforted by my smell in my room. I put the case on her lap. "Alice gave me this case for it and told me to take care of it for you. What's going Bella? Why did you just fake your death?"

"I will tell you when we get where we are going. Please we need to drive." She tells me urgently. I can tell she is afraid but at the same time I haven't felt her being this at peace and calm for a really long time.

Bella pulls the mirror down and pulls at the collar of her turtleneck sweater. The moment she pulls it down the scent of her venom fills the truck. Her potent scent makes me want her even more until I realize it's from venom. She is more injured than I thought. "Bella what is wrong with your neck?" I ask her snarling out ever syllable. I don't want to scare her but I can't help it.

She winces and her hands start to actually shake. She's nervous I can feel it. "I can't tell you everything yet Jasper it's not safe." She says quietly. She fumbles with the case and pulls out a chunk of her body. "Bella is that part of you?"

"Yes Jasper it is."

I watch her keep her collar down and try to fit part of her neck back together. I slam on the brakes and instinctively go to help her. She is my mate. I need to put her back together. It is my job to put her back together. It is my job to make sure she is safe while she is healing. It was my job to make sure this never happened to her in the first place. "Who. Did. This. To. You." I ask angrily, trying to control Mars who is pushing to get out and kill who hurt our precious mate.

Bella looks over at me and frowns and hands me the chunk and moves her collar down motioning for me to put it back. I hold the piece like is the most expensive piece of crystal and my life is on the line if I damage it. I line it up with her neck and slide it in and wait to see it heal. "I did it to myself Jasper.' She says so quietly I almost miss it.

"You ripped out your own neck?" I am shocked. I take a moment to access the damage again. It's the spot where her mating scar should go. I am thrilled to see it blank and unmarked but shocked that Edward never tried to mark her. I have the uncontrollable urge to lunge forward and mark her. I fight myself for control and slowly the urge subsides.

"I did not want to risk Edward marking me. He isn't my mate. I will explain everything once we are safe. Please just drive." She begs me. Her hands intertwine with mine and I realize I haven't let go of her neck yet. "Please Jasper we need to keep going."

I shake myself out of it. Alice made it clear to me that I have to make our flight and Peter put a blonde wig in the truck with me. He said I would need it. I hand her the wig, colored contacts to hide her eyes, her passport and boarding pass. "Alice wanted you to be a blonde for the first leg so suit up." I say trying to lighten the mood. She is tense and extremely nervous.

"I am going to give you an out Jasper. I don't know what you and Alice discussed that she convinced you to leave your family behind to take me somewhere safe but you don't have to do this. You can go back to our family and live happily with them. You won't be able to tell anyone you know I am alive but you can go back home. I don't have the right to take you away from them." Her feelings make me want to hold her to me and tell her how much I love her over and over again. She feels useless, unwanted, not worthy of my help, pathetic, and above all scared.

How do I explain to her that I would burn myself alive for her if that's what she needed? I start to drive again and try to come up with the right words to say. "Bella, I love our family. I will miss them very much just like you will but I am not giving anything up to go with you. I don't mind leaving everything behind and going on an adventure with you. Over the past few decades we have become very close and I think of you at the very least has my best friend." I can't say I wish she was my lover, my wife, my mate. "There is nothing that you could ask me to do that I wouldn't. Do not ever think that I wish I stayed with them and that I think I am making a mistake leaving with you. I saw you when you came back and something was wrong and I plan on making it my mission to help you find yourself again and go back to who you were and who you want to be." I send her feelings of sincerity and love, not the love I want to send her but love none the less.

Her chin starts to quiver and I know if she could cry she would be right now. She grabs my hand and if I wasn't a vampire I'm pretty sure she would have crushed it. "Thank you Jasper. I don't know how I will ever repay you for this."

I smile at her. "You don't have to ever repay me." We drive in silence the whole way to D.C. She hasn't let go of my hand and I feel like I am on top of the world. She is touching me. She wants to touch me. I wish I never ha d to let go of her.

To my dismay we arrive in D.C. quickly, I should have driven a bit slower, but I knew we had to catch our plane. I leave our truck in a shaddy part downtown hoping it will get jacked soon. I pull our suitcases out of the back. Peter packed me an extra suitcase and gave me a wink telling me I would need it. I guess he knew what was going on with Bella. She just faked her death, she couldn't very well pack a suitcase of her things and expect a house full of vampires not to notice.

The cab finally comes and we head off to Dulles. It's a long drive and very expensive but money isn't an issue. I talk to Bella low enough that the cabbie can't hear us. "Our passports are corresponding. We are going has a married couple. Once we get to Paris we are going to ditch these aliases and get our new ones for the next journey. Alice planned everything weeks ago."

Bella looks at me and smiles. "Where are we going?" She asks me and for the first time today I don't sense any nervousness from her, she is excited. "Ireland."

She starts to giggle. "That last place for anyone to ever look for a vampire. A small island with limited food sources. Alice thinks of everything." She adds on at the end. I can't help but smirk has well, she's right. Vampires try to avoid small island nations. It's too easy to get caught. Not only that Alice set us up on an ever smaller island off the western coast of Ireland. It only has about 800 people. No vampire would ever come there and no vampire would ever think to find us there. I will be able to protect my mate there.

The airport is bustling like they normally are. Luckily today was rainy so we didn't have to try to hide ourselves. "Do my eyes look alright? These are incredibly uncomfortable." She says with a slight whine. I want to rip them out so she can be comfortable. Damn mating pull! But I smile and assure her she looks fine. "No one will notice anything."

"Have you fed recently?" She asks me worried I might get hungry on the plane which would disastrous. I know Bella has never had problem with control so I don't worry about her. "Peter made sure I drank up before I headed out here. I should be fine. When we get to Paris we might need to make a side trip but I should be alright." I don't worry about my hunger like I used too. It has been so long since I have slipped. I never wanted to disappoint Bella. I hate the idea of her thinking less of me because I slipped and killed someone. I couldn't stand the thought of the look on her face when she saw me looking at her with red eyes and knowing I killed someone.

I had booked us first class seats but Alice failed to mention that she must have bought up the entire upstairs of a 747 so we wouldn't have other people with us. Only Alice would think to do something like that. I can almost feel her laughing at me right now. I know she just wants us to have more time to bond but this is ridiculous.

"Do you want me to help you rest?" I ask Bella after the plane takes off. She looks at me and smiles. "No, I don't feel worn out. I am excited and nervous but not worn down." I am glad to hear that and I can feel that she is telling me the truth.

"Can we talk yet?" I ask her. She shakes her head no. "This isn't the place for me to talk about such horrible things. If you lose your control on the plane…." She doesn't need to finish that statement. I know how bad it could be.

The flight attendant for the first class wakes up to us with a tray of champagne. "Would you like some champagne?" She asks us. Bella grabs a glass and drinks it quickly. "Keep it coming." She says with a laugh.

"Since when do you like to get a bit tipsy?" I ask her with a laugh.

"Since I can relax for the first time in 50 years. I don't relish purging it out of myself later but I want to enjoy a slight buzz to start off my new life. Will you have some with me?" She feels positively free right now.

"I never could say no to a pretty lady or a stiff drink." She laughs and the flight attendant makes sure to keep our glasses full. After a few hours, and quite a few glasses if not bottles of champagne later, we are both feeling no pain. I flick the ends of her blonde wig. "Blonde is a fun color on you." I say with a slight slur.

Her laugh is contagious and not just because I am an empath. "I always wanted to try it but never had the guts to. I guess now it would be almost impossible. I can't just dye my hair. Maybe I'll keep the wig for a bit."

We hit a bump of turbulence and even though we are indestructible Bella lets out a slight gasp and grasps my hand. She looks over at me and if she could blush I know she would be. "Sorry, I really don't like flying all that much."

I smile at her and give her hand a squeeze secretly relishing in having her in my hands. "It's fine. Just relax we will be there soon." She inhales deeply. I know she is breathing in my scent. She doesn't understand why my scent brings her peace but it does. I am glad I can make her feel more relaxed. It takes her a bit but I can feel her nerves calm down but she doesn't let go of my hand. I couldn't be happier.

We arrive at Charles de Guile and the airport is a mess. We are sucked up in a sea of throbbing humanity but I have no urge to attack any of them. Bella's presence and scent are all I need. I think I could live off just smelling her and never have to drink blood again. "Do we need to make a side trip or are we good to go on the next leg?" She asks me genuinely concerned that I need food.

"Nope I am perfectly fine. Why don't you go in the bathroom ditch the wig and put in new contacts. The red is starting to show through." Bella quickly runs off the bathroom and comes back looking like herself minus her eyes. The contacts make them look greenish. "How long till our next flight?" She asks me.

I look at our tickets. "4 hours. We have some time to kill."

"I can't believe I am about to say this and if you ever tell Alice I suggested this I will deny it till the end of time but let's hit up some of the shops. I don't know what Peter packed for me and I just left everything I own at home. From my books and music player to my clothes and jewelry." I can feel her shyness of asking to go shopping. She doesn't like to spend money flagrantly and I know she doesn't need a lot of material items to be happy.

"That would be fun. We can hit up some of the shops. And don't worry this never happened. Don't blame me though if Alice sees this decision and isn't laughing herself senseless right now." The smile on Bella's face starts to fade. I put my hand on her cheek and she moves into it without thinking. If my heart did beat it would beat out of my chest right now.

"I just miss her. She's my best friend and sister and she said I wouldn't see her again for a long time. Then I think of Reneesme and it feels like I could just curl up and die." I can feel the pain and sadness radiating off of her.

"Does Reneesme know what is going on?"

She shakes her head yes. "I had to tell her. I didn't want my baby girl to think I was dead. I couldn't put her through that." She is quiet for a moment then gives me a fake smile. I know she doesn't feel happy yet but she is trying. "Let's go shopping and get our minds off it." She states and we head off.

I dig through my carryon bag and hand Bella her new ID and credit cards. She looks at the name and laughs. "Mary Ann Jennings?" She asks me with a laugh. I show her mine and she laughs too. "David Jennings."

"Alice told me not to use any of our normal aliases so I went totally different on these. I moved a lot of money around and no one will ever be able to trace it. I made sure of that. You don't have to worry about a thing on those cards. I doubt if you even bought everything in this airport if it would put a dent in it. Mrs. Jennings we are loaded." I say trying to make her smile.

"You know I never needed to be rich, but it is nice not to have to worry about certain things." I couldn't agree more. I would be fine with a few books and Bella with me for the rest of my days but it doesn't hurt to not have to live like nomads. I want to be able to give Bella the most comfortable existence I can and for that reason I alone I don't find the absurd amount of money I have accrued over the decades decadent or disgusting.

Bella goes a bit crazy for her normal shopping habits. If this were Alice it wouldn't seem like that much but for Bella this is quite the spree. She picks up a new lap top, cell phone, and ipod. I know she likes her music and hopefully we can download most of the stuff she had to leave behind. We then hit up a few clothing stores and she picks up pieces that suit her. We head to a bookstore next and that is where she really lets loose. She picks up copies of her old favorites and some new books to read on the plane. We head to our gate bogged down with bags.

I had arranged for a car in Dublin and a boat to meet us in Galway to take us to the islands. If we were human we would be exhausted by now as it is I can see Bella's eyes darkening. I need to get her to food fast. So far I haven't been a very good mate. This is the first time ever that I truly get to take care of her and so far she has had a gaping hole in her neck and she is hungry. "Do we need to stop? I can probably find an animal around here somewhere?" I ask her on our drive.

She smiles and shakes her head no. "Trust me going a few hours without food is nothing to me anymore. Let's just get there and we can evaluate the situation when we get there. How are we going to get food on the island? Isn't it really small?"

Now it's my turn to laugh. "Alice kind of planed for that. She made me buy a sheep farm. At the time I thought she was crazy but now I understand she wanted us to have a food source." Bella's eyes widen and she busts out laughing. "A sheep farm? Wow!" And she continues to giggle.

It's early evening when we arrive at the boat and it doesn't take long to load all of our stuff and take off. I made sure that the property I bought had its own private dock. The house will definitely need some improvements but I think we will have fun doing them ourselves. As we pull up to the dock Bella starts to calm down and she is radiating happiness and security. I am so glad to be able to give her those feelings. When she gets the first glance at our house she lets out a gasp. "Jasper! Is that it?" She asks with excitement rolling off of her.

I smile and shake my head pulling the boat up to the dock. "It is. It will need some work but I think we can make it a really great place to live." It's a small cottage really but it looks like something out a fairy tale.

"I love it!" She squeals and jumps out of the boat before were docked and runs up to it. I am glad to see her this excited and happy. I haven't seen her like this in a long time. I grab all the bags and follow her into the cottage. I see boxes of furniture outside the door with a note. _You're Welcome. Love Peter and Charlotte. _

I drop everything in the shabby living room that I know will look nicer in the months to come. "OK Bella. We are here now. What is going on?" I ask her. She looks at me and I can feel the fear creeping back into her.

"I haven't been honest with everyone. Edward has been…" She looks at me and I can feel the tension in her coiling again. "He's been…" She moves her eyes unable to look me at me. I walk to her slowly so I don't startle her and grab her face making her look at me again.

"It's alright. You can tell me anything." I try to push calm and peace into her.

She takes a deep unneeded breath and slowly exhales. "Edward has been starving me and beating me for the last 35 years."

a/n so I know this is 50 years in the future and they probably won't have ipods, lap tops, and cell phones like we imagine them but I didn't think I could put in she is buying a chip to go in her brain to use has cell phone… I like my science fiction a little to much maybe. So I guess think of the electronics in a futuristic sense.


	18. Chapter 18

Renesmee's POV

Fake it! Fake it! Fake it! You just need everyone to believe that your mom is dead. I can do that. I am going to take all my anger and hatred towards my father and hone it towards my biggest act ever. I can do this. I pretend things all the time. I pretend I am a normal teenager. I pretend I am a highschooler. I pretend all kinds of things every day. This I can do.

Alice! "Aunt Alice over here!" I yell in the woods. Alice made a scent trail from her room to a field hours from here then to me. "I am pretending I just had a vision come on!" She says grabbing my hand.

_"We got to start to cry Aunt Alice. We need to act like we just found her dead in that field." _I tell her through my gift. She looks at me and nods and we both begin to sob.

When I am closer to the house I start to scream. "GRAMMY! GRAMMY!" I screech through my sobs. Esme comes running out of the house with a confused and scared look on her face. "Renesmee? Darling?" she asks me.

I run to her and fall into her arms. "Grammy! Mom is dead. We were going shopping… and I… and I went to go eat and then I come back and she's gone! She is burned Grammy. Mom is gone." I fall into her arms crying. I feel horrible knowing the pain I am about to inflict on my Grammy. She is such a sweet and wonderful woman. She feels so much and she loves so hard. I don't want to hurt her but I have to for my mom.

Esme twists in my arms and looks at Alice. "What happened Alice?" She asks her. Alice starts to cry too. She is good actress as well. "I saw it to late mom. They weren't planning on killing her until they saw her. It has to do with Edward. I am not sure I just sensed it. Edward killed someone important to one of the vampires. When they saw her she told them to back off because she was Edwards's wife. There were three of them. She couldn't fight them off and they killed her to get back at him. I tried mom. The moment I saw it I ran off trying to save her. I was out hunting and it was faster for me to go straight there then try and come home."

_"Make whatever you are thinking in your head 10 times worse for my father. I want him to suffer."_ Alice looks at me and I can hear her smirk in my head. "_Oh he will suffer little one. I promise you that."_ She responds.

Rosalie comes running out of the house and grabs on to me. "Renesmee what is going on?" Rosalie should have heard everything that happened but I know she is trying to avoid what she just heard. That maybe she heard me wrong.

"Rose!" I sob out falling into her. I wish I could tell her everything but I can't yet. She would be able to help me with all the pain and anger I am feeling. She's my best friend next to Jake. "I came into the field and I could smell them. They killed her Rose. I saw the fire. I saw her wedding ring and charm bracelet. I couldn't pull them out. I could catch on fire and I was afraid."

She catches on a sob that will never produce tears. "Oh Renesmee." She sobs out. "My poor little girl." She puts her arm around me and starts to pull me into the house.

That's when I feel it. Jake! He is close. Our mating and imprint pull are telling me is coming. He will be here soon. I look at Alice, I don't have to ask her. "He's coming Renesmee. The pack has shifted and running and our vampire men are in a car. Go to him!" She tells me.

I take off running, loving how the breeze feels going past me. I come across the pack quickly. They are running has one with Jacob leading Seth and Embry at his heels. "Jake!" I scream out leaping on to his wolf body and sob into his fur. "Jake it's mom." I sob out. I can't tell him the truth right now. He is a wolf and the other will hear. I don't know if they can protect their minds like Jake can against my father. Father, I hate that word. He is a piece of filth that I plan on annihilate the moment mom tells me I can! "Jake please shift I need your arms around me right now." I sputter out.

Jake quickly takes on his human form and motions for our pack brothers to keep moving towards the house. I grip his big warm arms and look up into his eyes. I love that he is bigger than me. I am stronger than him, even if he won't admit it, and I love feelings like his girl sometimes. "Jake do you remember what we talked about a few days ago?" I ask him quietly. I don't think anyone can hear me right now.

He shakes his head yes and leans down and kisses me. "Aunt Alice and I helped fake mom's death today. Jasper is taking her somewhere safe. I don't know where they are going but he is going to help her. We are going to send daa.. Edward on a wild goose chase all over Latin and South America. He cannot know that she is alive. She will kill herself if she thinks he is going to take revenge on her friends and family and have to look over her shoulder for the rest of her life. You cannot shift back to being a wolf with the pack until my fath…Edward is gone. Keep your mind clouded my love." I tell him.

"You guys what?" He asks me slightly overwhelmed and definitely confused. I smile at him and stand on me tip toes and kiss him passionately, letting my tongue slip into his mouth. "Aunt Alice and I are saving mom. Edward will think that mom is dead. Aunt Alice is even going to make him think that she is dead because of him. She is safe Jake. He will never hurt her again. Uncle Jasper is going to take care of her."

Jake lets out a smirk. "You girls and your schemes. I think this could actually work. I love you sweet heart. Let's get home. Don't worry I won't shift with my brothers until he is gone, but I cannot keep this from them forever. They are my brothers."

"I understand Jake. I will not keep this from my family forever either. Once it is safe I am going to tell them the truth." Jake shakes his head and leans down and kisses me again. "Let's go we need to be there when da… Edward comes home." I stutter out not sure what to call that creature any more.

Jake pushes me backwards towards one of the trees and smirks at me. "I think we have a moment before we need to be back there and I want you to feed. I want you stronger than your fat…" I put my hand over his lips. "Do not call him my father. I don't accept him any longer."

He picks me up by my hips and I wrap my legs around his waist, I am really glad I decided to wear a skirt today. It doesn't take much for him to rip my panties off and plunge into me. I am glad he has missed me as much as I have missed him. He leans in and offers his neck to me and I drink deeply. His blood coupled with my human blood makes me one of the strongest vampires in existence. Not even an old one who drinks human blood on a regular basis is physically as strong has I am. I drink my fill and we both reach our climax together. I rest my head on his shoulder for a moment while the aftershocks of our rough sex roll off me. "I love you Jake."

"I love you more Renesmee." He moans into my ear. I slip off his hips and he reaches behind him and pulls on the shorts he had tied to his wolf leg. "Let's get back there and figure out what to do with that man formally known as your father."

I raise my eye brow at him. The man formally known as my father? I kind of like it. It fits. I slam my hip into his thigh. "Your ridiculous Jake and you know it! Now put on your sad face and follow me."

We both force ourselves to start crying and we run back to the house. The pack is in shock standing outside and I can tell they are fighting their urge to break down. Esme is dry sobbing on the ground in front of the house while Carlisle tries to comfort her. "My baby! My baby girl! She is dead Carlisle! Oh god Carlisle!" She screams out has Carlisle lowers down next to her on the ground. I see him fighting for control but he is losing and I can see his shoulders starting to shake with pain.

Emmett is shaking with his dry sobs. Rose is holding on to him while he wails into her. I knew that him and my mom were close I just didn't realize how close I guess. He keeps muttering "My bells is gone." Into Rose's hair. She looks at me and nods slightly. I pull Jake into me and cry into his shoulder.

The man formally known as my father grabs on to my arm and I pull it back and bury myself into Jake. "Renesmee I need to know what happened." He says to me quietly. I look up at him with all the hate I can muster. "Don't touch me!" I yell at him. I need him to believe that mom is dead I never said anything about him believing I still love him. "They killed her because of you! You killed someone important to them and they saw her and killed her when she mentioned your name to them. I saw it through Alice's visions. You killed her!" I yell at him.

"Renesmee what has gotten into you?" He asks me. I hold onto Jake tighter and shoot daggers at him. I think of the way mom looked that night I walked in on her in Jasper's room. I imagine her in their room so I don't raise his suspicion. I think of every scar on my mom's body and the way she looked at herself in the mirror like she was hideous. "That is what has gotten into me." I growl lowly at him.

His face is priceless. He is shocked. It slowly turns to anger and he moves quickly at me. He wants to silence me before I can tell our family. Jake throws me behind him and he shifts quickly jumping at the man formally known as my father. He lets out a loud roar and everyone stops and looks at us. Edward falls backward and lands on his butt. I leap over Jake and push him down with my arm. With Jake's blood pumping through my veins I am invincible. "_Do not touch me. Do not talk to me. Do not even look at me ever again. The only thing that might even some day possibly allow me to forgive you is if you bring mom's killers to me alive."_ I send this to Edward and Jake. I push Edward into the ground and make sure I apply enough pressure to hear his shoulder crack beneath my hand. I want him to feel some of the pain my mom must have felt every day with him. Jake roars in approval and I jump back off him and into the fur of my mate. Edward jumps up to reach me and Jake snaps at him. "_Don't even think about it." _I snarl at him.

The entire family is staring at me and I look back at them. I talked to him through my mind and they couldn't hear our conversation. I know if I tell them what he has done to my mom they will kill him. They will dismember him and burn his body to a crisp. I promised mom I would not kill him so I will wait to tell them until he is gone. I will do that for her, but I cannot promise that they will not kill him if they see him again after they know.

Jake stays in his wolf form and I put my hand on his head and motion for him to follow up the stairs to our room. I walk inside and he looks back and growls menacingly at Edward and follows me in to the house. He shifts back to his human form once we get to our bedroom and he pulls me into a tight embrace. "I thought he was going to hurt you Renesmee."

I shake my head in agreement. "I thought so too love."

"If he touches you no promise to your mother will hold me back. I will kill him." He states. There is no question in his voice. I know he will kill Edward if he touches me. He pushes me back onto the bed and pulls me into his naked body. I slowly start to sob for real. This is no act. I have been through so much and hiding so much. Having my mate with me allows me to fully open up and let my emotions out. I am safe as long as Jake is around. I can be as weak as I need to be. I slowly fall apart letting every wall fall down. Jake will hold me. Jake will protect me. He won't let anyone hurt me ever.

"I need you Jake." I say pitifully through my sobs. I have been crying for what feels like hours now and I know the only thing that could possibly bring me peace is my Jake. I need him in me. Jake continues to pet my hair and kiss my hair line. He moves down my face over my jaw and to my lips. "Hush now my love. I am here. I will always be here." He whispers to me.

I shake my head no. "You won't always be here. Next year you will leave me again once I go into heat."

Jake grabs my face and forces me to look at him. "If what you need is for me to lock myself in a cage and just be in the same room as you next year I will." I smile at him and kiss him softly.

"Thank you." I say quietly into his lips. He smiles at me and swiftly moves to lie on top of me. We made fast and furious love in the forest but now he takes his time. He slowly kisses every inch of my body making me feel like a goddess, the most beautiful woman in creation. He slides my dress of my shoulders taking his time with each button. He helps slide it off my body and kisses my breasts through my lace bra. "You are so beautiful Renesmee. I don't know if I tell you enough how gorgeous you really are." I blush and he leans down and kisses my cheeks.

He unclasps the clasp on the front of my bra and he lets out a smile has my breasts become free and he caresses them. We are the only ones we have ever been with. I took his virginity and he took mine. I have never had the urge to even touch let alone sleep with another man besides Jake. His body was made for me and mine was made for him. For a moment my mom comes into my mind. Has she ever made love like this before? Has she ever felt like she truly is one with her lover? Like she could just melt into them and cease to exist but she would be alright with that? To be alright with the fact that all that matters is the love between yourself and your lover? I know Edward was her only lover. Did he ever make her feel beautiful? Did he ever make her feel like his own personal goddess? I doubt he did or is even capable of it. I know now that he is not my mom's mate. I wonder who is. Who will be able to put my mom back together and fulfill her the way she needs to be?

"Jake." I moan softly under his wondering hands. He smiles at me and kisses my belly button while he makes his way down to my throbbing center. I want him so badly. I want his mouth, his tongue, in and all around me. Before he can give me what I want I pull his face back up to mine and make him look me in the eyes. "Yes." I say softly.

He raises his eyebrow at me. "Yes?" He asks me confused. I smile at him and kiss him softly. "Yes Jake, I will marry you."

"Renesmee?" He asks me. I grab him and put him into me and being to move against him. "Yes Jake! Yes Jake I want to marry you!" I moan out to him. He doesn't respond and continues to move into me. He screams out my name as well and we finish together.

"You have made me very happy Renesmee. I was afraid you would never marry me. I love you so much." He whispers into my ear. I turn my head towards his face and I kiss his cheek. I don't move not wanting him to leave my body yet. "I don't want to miss out on our life together because of how Edward treated my mother. I want to be your wife. I want to be Mrs. Jacob Black." I can't have any part of my name be associated with Edward any longer. I never want to be called Miss. Cullen or Miss. Mason again as long as I live. I want to be Mrs. Black. I want every part of Jacob I can get.

Jakes pulls out of me and I shudder at the loss of him. He runs to our dresser and digs through his top drawer and comes back to the bed with a little box in his hand. He opens the box and pulls out a ring and slips it on my finger. I look down at it. It's perfect. It's a simple square cut diamond. "Jake, I love it." I say moving to kiss him again. "How long have you had that?" I ask him.

He blushes and pulls me into his chest lying down. "I have had it for 25 years. I kept hoping you would say yes."

"Every time you asked my soul and my heart begged me to say yes but I couldn't. I kept seeing my mother and I couldn't risk everything changing. But I can't let that affect us any longer."

"I will make you happy Renesmee. I can promise you that. I will make you happy like you make me." He says with a smile. I cuddle into his body and soak in the warmth. All I need is in my arms right now, all I need is Jake.

"Can we go home please? I don't want to be here any longer." I ask him.

"Yes sweetheart. We can go home." He replies kissing my forhead.

a/n sorry I have been so slow on the updates. This summer is super busy for me! But thank you for all your wonderful reviews and sticking with me!


	19. Chapter 19

a/n So I was going to write this chapter in Bella's pov but you all wanted it in Jasper's pov and since I was such a tease and through in a Renesmee last chapter I am going to do this for you all… in Jaspers POV

Jasper's POV

She takes a deep unneeded breath and slowly exhales. "Edward has been starving me and beating me for the last 35 years."

For a moment it doesn't sink in. I think through the words she just said. _Edward has been starving me and beating me for the last 35 years. _I tilt my head to the side and look at her like she is speaking Greek, a language I have never learned. He hurt Bella. He hurt my Bella. She puts her hand out and grabs my arm. "I'm not lying. I swear to you I am not lying. I know Edward is your brother and it seems impossible but I promise you that is the truth." She says pleading with me with every syllable. I can feel her fear that I don't believe her.

I look down at her and she is petrified. I pull her to me tight and squeeze her harder than any human could ever withstand. I can't seem to find my voice yet. My mate has suffered greatly. It is my job to make sure she is alright. It is the meaning of my existence to make sure she never suffers. I have failed so miserably. "Please believe me." She sobs out in to my chest.

My lips touch the top of her head and I rob her back. "I believe you. I know you are telling the truth." I try to sound calm and loving but I want to kill. I want to go on a killing spree and drink myself drunk on blood. I want to tear apart this house then the island. I want to hunt down Edward and rip his head off his body. Bella lets out a sob of relief into my chest. I pull her back and make her look at me. "Tell me what happened."

Bella doesn't want to look me in the eyes and tries to turn her head to the side. I grab her chin and gently move her face so she is looking me in the eyes. "You need to tell me what happened. Then I am going to go back home and kill him."

Her eyes grow large with fear and she grabs on to my arms again and she shakes under me. "Please don't kill him." She mutters.

"Don't kill him? You just told me that he has starved and beaten you for the last 35 years!" I can't believe what I a hearing. She shakes her head no furiously. "He is still Renesmee's father. I have had this discussion with Alice. I will not kill my little girl's dad."

So Alice knew about this. She knew about this and never told me! She is the only other person who knew that Bella was my mate and she kept her mouth shut. I grind my teeth together trying to keep myself from roaring out a scream of rage. "Start from the beginning." I say through my clenched jaw.

Bella takes my hand and guides me to an old sofa that is sitting the living room. I assume that Peter has sent has a new couch and it is one of the boxes outside but I want to hear what she has to say. That can wait. This cannot. "There was a time I was happy. I can just remember it like a glimmer in a dream. I had my daughter, my husband, and my family. Everything seemed to be perfect. I didn't have to give up much. I still got to have a child which is one of the things our family was worried I would miss out on. We even found a way for me to have a relationship with my parents after I was turned because I wasn't so blood thirsty. I thought I was in heaven. My life was perfect and nothing could hurt me."

I think of my state of mind during that same time. I placed a fake smile on my face and looked like the happy brother in law. In reality I was drowning in my own sorrow. I had her with me at least. Her presence brought me a sense of calm, but she wasn't with me. I had to watch her coo over her baby with another man. I had to sit and watch has Edward loved my mate. Even worse, I had to watch has my mate loved another man. I almost killed a human during that time but Alice stopped me.

"When Edward asked me to move away with him on our own for a few years I was excited actually. I look back now and I can't fathom what I was excited for. I loved being with my family. I felt it the moment we left the house. That feeling that someone punched my chest and ripped out my heart. I actually crumbled into a small ball and let out a wail. Edward stopped the car and put his hand on my back and asked me what was wrong. I told him that it physically hurt me to leave you all. That was the first time he hit me." She stops and looks at me her eyes glistening with venom. She doesn't realize it but that pain she was feeling was because she was leaving me. I felt it too that day. I thought I would actually die from the pain. The first time he hit her was because of me. How am I ever going to make this up to my mate?

I grab her hand she squeezes me and looks at me again. "He told me that it hurt him that I didn't want to live with him and loved the family more than him. He of course apologized profusely for hitting me. Telling me it would never happen again. I actually thought I did something wrong. I thought I did hurt him and that it was insensitive of me to rather be with my family then with him alone. I tried to ignore the pain and with time it got easier to live with it. It never left but I found ways to cope." I know exactly what she is talking about. The pain never diminished but it got to a point where I could survive it. All of the pain is gone now. I have her in front of me and I am actually holding her.

"The starving I should have seen coming. It started so simple and innocent. He just wanted to bring me my food so he could feel like he did something nice for me. He thought it would be romantic if he brought me a deer and drained it for me and allowed me to drink from a cup. I thought it was actually sweet at first. It morphed though. What was just getting my food became him deciding when and how much I could eat. He told me my control was horrible and he was ashamed of me. He claimed he just wanted to help me control myself that I was completely ruled by my bloodlust. I believed him too. That is the sad part. I would shake when I didn't eat and I thought I was actually out of control. He started to starve me then to teach me control. I could only eat what he brought me and when he brought it to me. That is why I looked so weak and ill. My body was starved for nourishment. I became more human like. I started to be clumsy again. I was always tripping over things and breaking them. I wasn't healing from his beatings like I should. That just made him angrier at me. I even tried eating human food again." The look on her face is that of a woman telling me she was addicted to cocaine right now. Her hands are shaking and she's looking at me like she is telling me that she did something horrible. That she had been at fault. I just want to hold her to me and assure she did nothing wrong. But I want her to be able to get this all out. Once I know the truth I will file it away and plan my revenge on the man who thought he could hurt my mate. "I was just so hungry. I was baking for Renesme and Jake and I looked at the steaks I was making them and just started to gorge on them. It tasted horrible but I hoped it would help. It didn't and it was bad when I had to throw them back up. It wasn't the only time I ever did that. It was just the only time I got caught. Edward caught me and accused me of trying to trick him. I was just so hungry! I tried numerous times after that to satiate my hunger on different foods. I tried raw meat, raw fish, hell I ate rice." She pauses for a minute and looks at me. Shame. Shame is the only thing she is feeling. "He took my hands for a week that time."

He what? He took her hands! I grab her hands and look her in the eyes. "He dismembered you?" I try not to project my anger but I don't know if I am doing so great. Bella shakes her head yes. "It wasn't the first time. He did it quite frequently."

Bella takes her hands back and lifts up the cuffs and shows me her wrists. I should have noticed it before. There are many faint lines around her wrist like bracelets where her hands have removed many times. He is going to die. She quickly covers them back up and pulls them to her body. "The beating didn't start quite so innocent has the food."

She stops and looks at the door has if he might be barreling through the door any moment. I want him too. If he does I can kill him and not even have to leave her to do it. I am never leaving her again. Even if she tells me to leave her I will stay a foot behind her always watching over her. Nothing will ever hurt her again, even if I have to die to protect her. "It started with one slap. He didn't hit me again for awhile but he became rough with me. When we were first married we would make love." I don't' want to think of Edward bedding my mate. "I know it sounds cliché but we did. Once we left he started to get rough until it became physically painful to me. I didn't want him touching me any longer but I wasn't strong enough to fight him off. The lack of blood made me so weak. I was pathetic. I tried to fight him off but when I did it just made him enjoy it more. He actually ripped my body in half a few times. I was just so weak from the lack of food."

Edward is a dead man. "He raped you?" I snarl out. I want to lash out and crush something but I can't scare her. She needs to feel safe right now so I shove Mars back in me and make him summit to me. If we scare her now we may lose her forever I yell at him! She shakes her head yes and her little hands cover her stomach. I have a feeling if I could see under her sweater there would be a jagged line from where her body was ripped in half by that boy raping her! Mars roars against me and I hit him back. Not Now! She needs us calm and collected. Violence is the last thing she needs. She needs love and comfort. I try to send her those feelings but she is in so much pain I don't know if they can even penetrate her right now. "He liked it rough and he said it was my wifely duty to please him. Every night he made me even though the thought made my skin crawl and made me want to vomit. I hated every moment of it but I was too weak to fight him off." She starts to rub her arms up and down with her hands. Her mind is taking her back to those horrible nights. I can feel the pain, the anguish, the shame. It's crippling. My body physically aches from her suffering. God I feel like I could throw up right now.

I send her a wave of calm and peace. I can't erase what he has done but I can help her through it. She looks at me and gives me a weak smile. "He has beaten, ravaged, scared, dismembered, and mutilated every part of me. I am not the same woman I was 50 years ago when I said yes to him at our wedding. I am shade of who I used to be. My body is a horrible disfigured souvenir of my marriage. Some days when I am allowed to get out of bed I can't even dress myself. I was in shock for 35 years. I would go through the movements and just hope I would die. He controlled every aspect of my life. He decided when I ate, what I ate, when I rested, when he would fuck me, when I could talk to my family, when I could see my daughter, when I could see my family. He controlled every part of me and I allowed him too!" I can feel the panic start to bubble up in her. She is on the verge of a panic attack.

I lean over and grab her into a tight hug while she dry sobs into my arms. "I allowed it to happen Jasper. I didn't' fight back. I am weak. I am pathetic." She mutters into my chest between her sobs. I pull her back and kiss her forehead. "You are not weak or pathetic. There was nothing you could do. Without proper sustenance you were too weak to fight and he knew you would be. That is why he starved you like that. I promise you that he will never touch you again. I will make sure he never even looks at you." I will dedicate the rest of my life to protecting her like I should have been doing the moment I met her. I should have felt her pain and put a stop to it. I am a horrible mate. She deserves so much better than me. She should have the kind of mate that would have seen the signs and killed Edward immediately. The first time he touched her I should have known. He raped her. The thought of him touching her like that. I don't want to think about it but I have too. He forced my mate to have nonconsensual, rough, and painful sex. This entire time I thought she was happy. I thought she was in love with her husband. It hurt but it made it bearable. Has a mate I was willing to do what it took to keep her happy and what I thought made her happy was living with her husband. This entire time I was wrong. She has been miserable and abused.

"You said that Alice knew about this. What has kept her quiet?" I love Alice. She is my best friend, was my lover, acted has my wife for decades who could she have kept this from me.

Bella takes in a deep breath. I can feel her trepidation. She doesn't want me to be mad at Alice. "Do not be mad at Alice. She tried. The first time he thought about hitting me and it was planned she called. Edward picked up the phone before I could get to it. He threatened to kill her mate's descendants if she ever told. To make her know he was telling the truth he killed the neighbors around her mate's parents. I made her promise she would keep quiet. I could not allow her to risk her mate. She would remain alone and empty without her mate. I can survive Edward. I could not survive knowing that I robbed my best friend of her mate. The dream that someday I could meet my mate was the only thing that kept me going. I would lay there at night after Edward abused and used me and I would imagine what it would be like with my mate. I knew I could never have him. Edward will kill him before he would allow me to be with him but I liked to imagine what it would be like to be happy and have a man who actually cared about me." She goes quiet for a moment and looks of in to space. "I wish I would have gone with my first instincts. This moment could have been avoided. The last 35 years would have been avoided." She says very quietly.

I want to grab and shake her while screaming I AM YOUR MATE! I will hold you in my arms for the rest of my life and keep you happy and safe! I have to hold myself back from doing that. She isn't ready for that by a long shot. She needs time to recover. She needs time to heal. I will make sure she is able to do that. I will make sure she is comfortable and able to find herself again. "What do you mean you wish you could have gone with your instincts?"

Bella looks at me and smiles faintly. I know she would be blushing if she could. "It was just something I used to think about when I escaped into my mind. Maybe I'll tell you someday." She says with a smirk. I want to force it out of her. I am afraid of her keeping secrets from my now. If she could hide this from me what else could she be hiding? "You look like you could use some dinner." She says breaking me from my thoughts.

I give her a weak smile. I know my eyes must be pitch black. "I guess I could use some. Do you want to come with me?" I ask her hoping she will come with me. The need to have her next to me is too strong. I can't imagine leaving the house without her. I can't imagine ever being more than an arms length from her for the rest of eternity.

We head out and run to the barns. The sheep should be in there. It won't be the most exciting meal I've ever had but it's a necessity. We can't just be killing animals on other peoples farms or they would notice. Bella winks at me and runs ahead and gracefully kills a sheep and drinks cleanly. I have been so worried that I would scare her that I have kept Mars in. I can't keep him under wraps much longer. He is angry and needs to feed. I allow him to take control.

When he is control I don't think in words as much as I do in feelings. I feel anger, rage, hunger, the need to kill, and love. I rip the first sheep I get my hands on to shreds. Poor bastard didn't even see it coming. I put him out of his pain quickly but I destroy him. By the time I come to again I am sitting in a circle of desecrated dead sheep. They are limbs and blood all around me. Where is Bella? I look around frantically and look up to see her sitting in the rafters of the barn smiling at me. "I didn't want to get in your way I felt like you needed this." She knew what her mate needed and allowed me to have it.

I look around at the mess around me. I did need it. I helped satiate the beast that lives inside of me. "Sorry if I scared you." I stand up and try to figure the best way to clean this up. Bella starts to giggle and jumps down the rafters landing gracefully next to me. "You didn't scare me! I know how emotions affect you and after everything I told you I'm surprised all you did was take out 20 sheep or so. The old you would have destroyed all of Ireland and maybe parts of Scotland."

The urge to kiss her and mark her mine is strong but I am stronger. The old me takes a distant second to the mate in me. She needs me calm and peaceful right now. She needs me to keep my anger in check so she can heal. Right now she needs me to be her friend. I can be that for my mate. I put my arm around her shoulder and pull her into me. "Let's explore a bit and I'll come back later to clean this up." She smiles at me and we take off to explore the island.

I will do what it takes to make her feel safe and secure even it means stuffing my urges down deep. I want to run home and kill Edward so badly I can feel my venom salivating at the idea of it but I can't. My mate doesn't want me to kill him. I can't guarantee that if I see him I won't kill him but I won't hunt him down… yet. I will be what she needs and make her realize that I am her mate slowly.

a/n so what did you think? I know everyone wanted him to go crazy but I think he needed to stay calm to keep Bella feeling secure and safe. So it seems some of you don't like the Renesmee/Jacob aspect of my story so I was curious if that's a majority or a minority. For some reason I really enjoy writing about them in this story. So let me know if the majority don't like and I'll try to keep it mostly out.


	20. Chapter 20

a/n So inside Edwards head may sound a bit different then he normally acts but for this story he wears the mask of a Victorian guy but under that mask he's a sociopathic monster so bear with the cussing that is not his typical behavior.

Edwards POV

How dare that bitch up and get herself killed. I worked so hard to mould her to what I needed and what does she do, she gets herself knocked off the first time I have left her in nearly 50 years. She never could do anything right so I would I suppose she couldn't manage to live without me.

If I find out that Alice told my daughter about Bella and me then I am going to destroy her. I will start by killing her pathetic child mate than killing her after she lives with the fact that her inability to keep her mouth shut got her mate killed.

Renesmee has been such a disappointment. I know I should be happy just to have a daughter, I know that is something that Rosalie and Esme would give their lives for but I can't be totally happy. I love her, in fact I love her more than I love anyone else but I wish she was different. Maybe it's Jacobs influence I don't like. I hoped for a demure daughter who would act like a proper young lady. Instead I get her. She is overly opinionated, runs around like a feral beast, has sex out of wed lock on a regular basis, and has no problem talking back to me. She even has a tattoo for Christ's sake. A few years ago she came home as proud has a peacock and showed her mother and me her arm. She got the pack tattoo. Jacob came in with her smiling like an idiot so excited that she wanted to be part of his pack. I wanted to rip of her arm and peal the tattoo off her but Bella helped calm me down. She let me fuck her every which way until I got all my rage out. That was one thing Bella was always good for, a good fuck.

Our daughter is so unlike us is so many ways. I protected Bella's chastity and made her wait until we were married. I had hoped some of my good manners and upbringing would have worn off on her but it didn't. She inherited some of that slut that was in her mom. Bella was always trying to get me to have sex with her before we were married. She would practically dry hump me like some bitch in heat. Once Renesmee got to an age that she thought she was old enough she became sexually active with that mutt. They tried not to think about it in front of me but the night after their first time if I couldn't see the images flashing from their minds I could smell it on them. I could smell their shame. She reeked of him and she has ever since. I don't know how she stands it. I still can't breathe around him but she seems to love it.

Jake even lets her drink from him. I thought I had raised her better than that. We only drink from animals, which I guess he is partially an animal but she allows her blood lust to get the better of her and she drinks from him. I have read it in him, he actually kind of likes it. Makes him feel like he can take care of her or something. It disgusts me.

I am slightly envious of them though. She has her mate and he has his imprint. What have I been left with that past 50 years? I have been left with my singer who is the imperfect mate. I tried so hard to train her and to make her what I needed but she was just so flawed. Maybe if when I meet my true mate if I hadn't been drinking human blood I would have been able to change her. Instead I rushed it and the moment her blood flooded my mouth I couldn't stop. When I finished I was just holding a corpse. No one in the family knows it but I was married to her. I took her to a priest and we got married that night. She didn't know what I was but I didn't want to turn her until we were married. So I married her and what should have been our wedding night I tried and she died. She was everything Bella wasn't. She was subservient, she understood her place, she understood when to speak and when to be quiet, and she knew how to take care of a man. I wouldn't have had to train her at all. She just would have been.

Bella had been getting better though. The less I let her drink the more feminine she became. She got some of her humanity back. She was more dainty and depended on me more. I liked what she was becoming. If I could have kept at it a few more years she may have finally become the perfect wife for me. I guess I will never find out. The bitch up and got herself killed. She should never have been driving alone. She knows better. If she and Renesmee wanted to go shopping she should have waited until I got home and have me drive them. She knew better than to go out without a male escort. I only allow her to the grocery store without me. It's not proper for a wife to be out in the world without her husband to protect her.

There's a knock on the door and I whip around and ripe the door open. Alice is standing there a bit afraid. "What do you want?" I snarl at her.

"I need you to sign these papers. I need to move some of Bella's things over to Renesmee." I grab her arm and pull her into the room. "What things?" I ask her. I never allowed Bella to have her own money. It wasn't appropriate she should get everything she needed from her husband.

Alice looks around the room for a way out in case I over react I hear her thinking. "Esme and Carlisle had some property in her name and some expensive jewelry pieces. I just want to make sure everything gets moved over to her." I rip the papers out of her hands and sign them where the post it says to and throw it back without looking at it.

"How could you let this happen Alice?" I growl at her.

Alice does something unexpected she looks me in the eyes. "You did this!" She yells at me. I bring my hand back to slap her but she grabs it before I can make contact. "I am not Bella! You do not get to hit me." She snarls at me. I take a step back. "How is this my fault?"

"You left her a blood thirsty mess. I couldn't see her future clearly because of how you left her. She was like werewolf, a slave to her emotions." She sends me image after image of her putting Bella back together after that last night.

"STOP IT!" I scream at her. She doesn't stop and keeps sending images of Bella's body to me. "Since you left her like that I couldn't see her future anymore you left a black hole where Bella's future should have been. If you hadn't been starving her for the past 37 years or so she would have healed faster."

I don't want to hear anymore I try to push her back but she keeps sending me images of Bella healing. Then one image stands out. It's Bella curled up in a blanket in bed. Only it's not our bed and that isn't one of our blankets. "Where was she healing?" I yell.

Alice takes a step back. "In Jasper's room sometimes. She was scared of you and the smell of you made her cower in fear. I couldn't put her back together in here. I had to move her."

I want to lash out at her but I know if I do she will not keep quiet about it like Bella has all these years. "Was he fucking my wife?"

"NO!" Alice screams out at me. "He never touched her. She just needed somewhere safe to heal and the scent of you made it impossible. Every time we came in this room the memoires of that night washed over her and she couldn't take it."

"What happened that day?" I have to know who killed her.

"I didn't see their faces clearly. Since you left a black hole in my visions I only got clips of it. When Renesmee left the car Bella waited. She must have smelled the vampires and got out of the car to investigate. When they saw her they started talking then they found out she was your wife. They did unspeakable things to her and then killed her." Alice sends me flashes of a rape and Bella being torn to pieces. I snarl at the images but Alice keeps sending them to me. "She was too weak to even use her shield to protect herself. You did this Edward."

I don't want to hear anymore. I push passed Alice and look out our window. I see Renesmee, Jacob, and the rest of their pack leaving. "Where are they going?" I ask Alice.

"Back to Forks. Renesmee wants to go home. She told Jacob yes, they are going to get married." Alice stops for a moment and I see the images of a small private wedding with just the pack. "Because of you she doesn't invite us. She doesn't want to betray her mom's last wishes of telling them what you did to her."

I turn around and look at her. "If I ever find out that you had something to do with this I will kill your mate Alice. I will rip turn him then rip him to shreds and send you charred pieces of his dismembered body for decades until I finally kill him and put him out of his misery. And once you have gone fully insane from the loss of him I will kill you too."

Alice starts to step back. I can hear she is scared. Her mind keeps jumping to Jasper. "Jasper isn't here to protect you anymore Alice."

"He will come if I need him." She says trying to sound confident but I can hear it in her mind that she's not so sure about at anymore.

"I leave tomorrow. I am going to start following the trail of the vampires that killed my wife. I will check in when necessary. Don't forget Alice if you tell any of our family what I will do your mate." She shakes her head and with a flash she is out of my room.

Stupid Bella, you couldn't do anything right. Why did you have to get yourself killed after how hard I worked on making you perfect? Once I find her killers and hand them over to my daughter I guess I can try and find another woman to fill my mate's shoes. I can mould her like I tried too with Bella only she will be better than Bella ever was.


	21. Chapter 21

Bella's POV

One week of freedom. The best week of my life! I have been jittery and I have been having a really hard time adjusting but Jasper is making it easy for me. He doesn't get mad at me if I do something stupid or say something silly. He makes sure I eat enough and doesn't get angry if I get carried away and make a mess.

We have been fixing our home here. It has been wonderful. Peter and Alice both had a bunch of stuff here for us to fix up the house. Peter even had some DYI books on plumbing, carpentry, and other things on fixing up the house. I've read over all them and all the information has stuck. We have been working in perfect harmony for a week to fix this wonderful fairy tale cottage up. We have redone all the plumbing and tiled the bathroom and kitchen. It's easy to fix up a house at vampire speed when you don't need to sleep. Jasper doesn't yell at me if I do so something wrong or need his help with something. He's so willing to help.

I don't remember the last time I smiled like this. It has been so long since I have smiled or even truly laughed. He has me laughing all the time and it's not because he's manipulating my emotions he just makes me laugh.

"Bella do you want to work on your room today?" Jasper calls from the bathroom. He is just going over the cocking around the tub one last night. We took some space from the kitchen to make a larger bathroom that has a soaker tub and spa shower. We don't need to cook so we didn't mind losing the space but I insisted on keeping the stove incase Renesmee and Jake come. I was nervous when I told Jasper I still wanted a kitchen thinking he would yell at me and tell me I'm stupid and not to talk back to him but he just smiled and said that was smart.

"We can work on yours first if you want." We haven't worried too much about our rooms. We don't need sleep and have just been crashing on the old sofas in the living room. We have all new furniture in boxes but we don't want to pull it out until the house is fixed. I am getting the electric sander ready to fix up the flooring in his room. We can sand it down and restain it and have nice original hardwood floors.

Jasper appears in front of me and for a moment I flinch. I am so used to when a man just appears in front of me getting hit. I don't mean to I just tense up and close my eyes for a moment. Jasper leans down quickly and puts a reassuring hand on my cheek. "Woah, it's alright. Nothing is going to happen. Sorry I scared you darlin. I won't sneak up on you like that again." His southern draw has been coming out a lot more lately. We weave such lies at home on who we are and aren't that we lose ourselves to them sometimes. We both agreed we needed time to just be ourselves, even if our names are fake.

I lean into his touch for just a moment and relax. "Sorry I freaked out. I am just still a bit nervous I guess. He would just appear in front of me and…." My mind goes somewhere dark and scary. Somewhere I hope to never be again. Edward is in front of me and he hits me hard across the face. My cheek cracks. I can actually hear the crack of my body. I am lost in my thoughts. Immediately my body is surrounded in a cocoon of safety. Jasper is pumping happiness, peace, and serenity to me. He has been doing this every time my mind wanders.

"It's alright Bella. I am here. Nothing is going to happen to you ever again I swear." I believe him when he says things like that. I don't know why but I do.

Human. I can smell it coming. I jump up and Jasper puts a reassuring arm around my shoulders. I am filled with fear. What if the human is working for Edward and is here to find me. Jasper squeezes my shoulders. "Don't worry darlin' he is just going about his day. Nothing malicious or secretive going on with him." If Jasper isn't worried I'm not worried either.

There's a knock on the door and Jasper grabs my hand walks with me to the door and opens it. "Good mornin' is a Mrs. Jenning's here?" The man asks in a thick Irish accent.

After years of Edward's training I am still afraid to talk to someone without his permission. I look to Jasper for permission to speak. He gives me a reassuring smile telling me it's alright and sends me a bit of confidence. "That is me." I say quietly.

The delivery man hands me a thick envelope and I look at the address label and see Alice's scrawling handwriting. My heart starts to pound with excitement and then nervousness. What if she is warning me that Edward is coming? I start to panic but Jasper sends wave after wave of calmness at me and I start to relax. "I see you guys have been busy. This house was a mess!" The delivery man says with a smile.

Jasper smiles at him. "We have been working hard to make it more livable but we like it here already."

"My wife has been wanting to come down and visit the new neighbors but I told her she needed to give you both time to move in. Don't be surprised if you are flooded with visitors soon. It's not often we get newcomers to the island and American's at that." I like this man. I can feel his sincerity.

"Would you like to come in for some tea?" I ask nervously. I haven't made a move without asking permission in so long. I know we have some tea around here and it's the polite thing to do with a new neighbor.

The man smiles at me. "No thank you miss. I still have mail to deliver today. Oh sorry I have been so rude my wife would smack me upside the head if she could see me. My name is Sean MacLice." He says extending his hand. I get nervous and clutch on to Jasper's hand tighter and grab his arm with my free hand. He tries to calm me down and he extends his free hand.

"I am David Jennings and this is my wife Mary Ann." It feels so silly going by these new names but it's necessary. I finally relax my grip on Jasper and extend me hand to his. "Well it has been lovely meeting you both and I will be seeing you around soon." He then leaves.

Jasper turns around and gives me a tight hug. "You doing alright darlin?" He asks me drawling out the pet name darlin. I love how he says it compared to the cold way Edward would call me darling. I shake my head yes and clutch on to my envelope.

He leads me to the couch and we sit down and I open it quickly. There is a note from Alice folded up with my name on it. Behind the note is a stack of official looking papers. I want to read the note in private so I pull up the papers. I look down at them and a surprised gasp escapes my lips.

Divorce!

The word divorce scrolls on top of the paper. The mutual divorce of Edward Masen and Isabella Swan. Signed by both parties. I am holding a simple piece of paper but this piece of paper makes me free of him. I am Isabella Swan again, not Isabella Masen. I look up at Jasper and I can feel the venom filling my eyes. "I'm free Jasper." I say quietly.

He takes the papers and reads of them and smirks to himself. I hear him mutter something about Alice. He hands them back to me and grabs me into a tight hug and kisses me forehead. "I'm free Jasper. I am divorced. I guess we're both divorcee's now." I say with a smile.

"Actually you're the only divorcee in the house." He responds with a smirk. I tense up. I messed up. I made an assumption and he is going to be mad at my stupidity. I immediately start to try to back track. "I am sorry I just assumed that you and Alice had… oh god… I am really sorry." I start to panic and I stand up to leave his sight. He shouldn't have to look at me. I'm stupid and pathetic. I start to move but he grabs my hand gently but I still flinch waiting for him to rip off my hand or hit me.

"Isabella…" He says quietly. I like how he says my full name. "Why are you panicking? What is wrong?" He asks me genuinely worried. I don't know how to respond so he starts to talk to me through my gift. "_Why are you so scared darlin?" _

_"I am sorry I made a stupid assumption about you and Alice. I thought she had said that you two got divorced awhile ago when she saw her mate for the first time. I was just making a careless comment."_

Jasper's face relaxes into a smile and he pulls me back down on the sofa. "You weren't being careless. You were just saying what we wanted everyone to think. We never actually got married so we never had to get divorced."

I give him a confused look. I had seen their wedding photos I know they got married. "We had a ceremony for Esme and Carlisle but we never sent in the paper work. We both agreed we only ever wanted to be married to our mates and didn't want to them to be our second marriage."

"That's beautiful." I whisper out.

"We both only wanted to give ourselves once in name, body and soul." He seems a bit sad. I don't know why but I don't want to press him for information he's not ready to give either.

"I wish I had done the same thing. I am tainted now. I will always be Edward's wife first and everything else second. My time with him will forever mark my body. He has made it so I will always be his. I'm branded for eternity. I'm broken Jasper. I'm not lovable and I'm a damaged unfixable version of myself." I hate to sound so pathetic but it's what I know I am. Edward has made sure that the truth is ingrained in me.

Jasper doesn't talk for a moment and he just stares into my eyes. He lifts his hand and moves the hair out of my face. He traces the planes of my face and I relax into the calming sensation of him on my skin. "You are not tainted. You are not unlovable. You are not damaged and unfixable. You may feel broken but you will rebuild yourself and be stronger than before because of these experiences. In a few decades Edward will just feel like a blip on the radar of your past. You will find happiness again I promise you. After the wars and after I left I felt a lot like you do. I felt broken and damaged. Every horrible thing I have ever done is forever branded on my body as well." Jasper stops and stands up. He takes off his long sleeve tshirt and the tapestry that is the scars on his body glitter in front of me. I have seen small patches of his skin before but never his whole upper body before. He kicks off his boots and takes off his socks. He unbuttons his jeans and slides them off until he is standing in front of me in just his boxer briefs. "This is my history Bella. You can see every horrible thing I have done and seen on me. It's story book. There will come a time when are comfortable enough in your skin to accept that your scars aren't you."

I want to reach out and trace the scars on his body but that would be unforgiveable. Why would he want me to touch him? "They are beautiful Jasper." He tilts his head and gives me a confused smirk? "Beautiful?" He asks almost with a laugh.

I stand up and ache to touch the scars on his chest. "They are beautiful Jasper. They are a reminder of how strong and brave you are. You were, are, a fierce warrior who can protect himself. They are a reminder of who you were and what you did to survive and become the man you are today. Mine are different. I didn't fight I just let him do what he wanted to me. I am not a survivor I am a weak victim." I pull the ends of my sweater down over my hands. I don't want to think about the disgusting marks marring my skin.

He takes a step forward and pulls me into a tight hug. I like how his naked chest feels on my cheek and I don't think I just enjoy it for a moment. "You are a survivor too Isabella. Just wait you'll see." He says to me trying to reassure me. I don't want to let go of him but it's inappropriate of me to hold him any longer. I let go and stand back.

"Every night Bella I want you to stand in front of the mirror naked and tell yourself one thing new you like about yourself."

I shake my head no. "I can't." I nibble on my bottom lip. "Why?" He asks me.

"I can't look at myself in the mirror and think of anything I like. I hate myself and I can't stand to see my face in the mirror. Please don't make me." I beg him.

He takes a step forward and I flinch again. I have disobeyed and order. I should know better. He leans in and kisses my forehead. "Until you can do it I will do it for you." He steps back and looks me up and down. "The first thing I like about you is that you are kind. You take care of those less fortunate and you would never hurt anyone. Your kindness is unique in our kind Bella." He pushes his sincerity at me and I smile weakly and nod my head.

I lean down and pick up Alice's letter and I walk back to the hovel known has my room and sit down on the floor. I hold the letter to my nose and breathe in Alice. I miss her so much. I tear open the envelope and read her words to me.

_Dear Bella,_

_I hope you are doing alright I know Jasper will take good care of you. Edward and the rest of the family believe everything. Renesmee and Jake and gone back to Washington for awhile and she said yes to his proposal so they are engaged! _

_Don't worry Edward didn't suspect anything when he signed this paper. He thought he was signing over property to Renesmee. _

_I am sorry but I can't tell our family the truth yet. I have to wait until my mate is a vampire. I am sorry I am weak and I have allowed all of this to happen but it's my mate and I can't Bella. Please forgive me, even though I can't forgive myself._

_It will be a long time before we see each other but I will call you soon. Don't worry I have your new number. _

_Find happiness Bella and don't be afraid to find it where ever you can. There is nothing you could ever do to make me love you less. You are my best friend and my sister and I want you to be happy. You are going to have some hard times coming up adjusting to your new life. Trust Jasper he will not lead you astray. _

_I miss you so much Bella!_

_Love_

_Alice._

I reread her letter over and over again. I could never be mad at her for protecting her mate. I understand why she does it. I have protected my family just as fiercely. I feel better knowing for sure that Edward thinks I'm dead. I can relax just a bit.

There's a knock on my door and I jump up to answer it. "Ready to fix your floor?" Jasper asks with a smile. I tuck the letter in my pocket and shake my head yes. "Let's get to it!"

a/n sorry it took me so long to post the next chapter I just got caught up in the creative juices of my others stories more. Leave a review if you have a chance and thanks for reading!


	22. Chapter 22

Jasper's POV

Bella is doing better… not great but better. It only took a few days but we finished her room and that seemed to make her feel more comfortable. I think she just needed a place of her own. A place she could relax in and just be hers. She hasn't that in years now. Alice and Peter have sent us furniture and paint but I made sure that everything that went into that room she wanted and picked. I felt it was important for her to make her own decisions on things like that. She hasn't said it out loud but I don't think she had a lot of choices over the past decades. In the morning when she changes she gives me a look begging me to tell her what to wear or tell her what she is wearing is acceptable. I am going to kill that fucker if I ever get my hands around his neck.

I can sense the human a while off. It's a female and she is excited. I think she is excited at the prospect of new neighbors. "Bella we have company coming." I mention to her. I sense her jump and I feel a pang of pain. He has made her so jumpy. "It's alright it's just a neighbor I think."

"I'll be out in a few minutes." Bella calls out of the bathroom. She comes out wrapped up in her robe. Every inch of her skin practically covered with the terry cloth. The water from the shower is still clinging to her hair and is glistening on her face. God I want to cross the room and kiss her senseless. "Did you have anything to say to yourself this morning?" I ask her. She shakes her head no and refuses to meet my eyes.

I gently put my hand on her arm, careful to make my touch as light as possible so I don't scare her and bring her back into the bathroom. I wipe the condensation off the window and ever so delicately lift her chin until she looks at herself in the mirror. I grab her hand and meet her eyes in the mirror. "You Bella Swan are smart. You have numerous degrees and even before you were turned your intelligence amazed me. You could have been anything you wanted to has a human and now as in immortal you are unstoppable." I can feel her. She doesn't believe me. She feels unworthy. I squeeze her hand. "You are intelligent Bella." She would be blushing and possibly crying if she could.

Bella looks up at me and gives me a very weak smile. "Thank you Jasper." She whispers to me. She stands on her bare toes and kisses my cheek lightly. "I can almost believe it when you say it like that." She says it so quietly I almost miss it but she knows with my hearing I will never miss a thing.

"You will believe it someday." I tell her trying to reassure her. She quickly leaves the bathroom at vampire speed and heads to her room. I can sense the human getting closer and about a minute out Bella calls me to her room. She still has her robe on and has different outfits laid out on her bed. "Which one is alright Jasper?" She asks me trembling. I can tell she is afraid.

I cross the room and put my arm around her shoulders. "Why are you afraid?" She starts to tremble and her despair hits me almost sending me to my knees. "I don't know what to wear. I don't want to make a bad impression."

"You don't have to ask me what to wear. You can wear whatever you are comfortable in darlin." I say in best southern draw. I know when I talk like that it makes her feel calmer.

"I don't know how to anymore Jasper. He picked everything out for me. He laid it out. He told me when I picked thing out on my own I embarrassed him." Her anxiety is overwhelming. My poor mate actually believes she can't pick her own clothes out without embarrassing herself and me. The Mate, the new part of my personality, wants to pull her to me and purr into her neck until she is calm. I am beginning to wonder if I have some kind of personality disorder. Luckily I have never lost control and the Mate has taken over me like Mars has numerous times.

I spin her around gently and pull her into a tight hug and kiss the top of her head. Ok so maybe that was for the Mate but if I didn't touch her and try to calm her down he would have taken over. "You do not embarrass anyone. You don't embarrass me and you don't embarrass yourself. You pick whatever makes you comfortable and then come out. I will greet our guest. Just take your time darlin." I give her a tight squeeze and reluctantly leave the room.

Being with her day and night has made it almost impossible for me to be more than a few feet from her. I lived decades without and now that she is close I am slave to the Mate in me. The knock on the door brings me out of my thoughts and I run to the door and open it. There is a young woman in front of me that for a moment reminds me of Alice. She is short with short dark hair. Her smile is almost contagious and I can tell it's genuine. "Good Afternoon. I am so sorry for not coming over earlier but I wanted to give you all some time to adjust. My name is Eimear and I am your closest neighbor." She says in a thick Irish accent. She lifts up a gift basket filled with baked goods. "I wasn't sure what you all would like but nothing has nuts in case of allergies."

I take the basket and extend my hand and we shake. "My name is David and my wife, Mary Ann, is getting dressed. Thank you so much for the gift basket and no we don't have any allergies. Why don't you come in?" Eimear gives me a warm smile and crosses the threshold into our cottage.

"Wow you guys have done a brilliant job on this place. It was a mess the last time I saw it. Are you sure you've only been a week and half?" She asks with a laugh.

She's here. My body relaxes. She's within grabbing distance now. Bella enters the room and walks over to me. She steps into my side and I pull her to me. She doesn't know why she feels safe next to me but I don't care I'm glad she does. She tries to bury herself into me and she shyly extends her hand to our guest. "Hi I'm Mary Ann." She ended up wearing a turtleneck sweater and jeans. It's a little warm for that kind of clothing but I know she is afraid to show her skin and her body is still adjusted to drinking blood again so she has been cold.

Eimear smiles at her takes her hand. "I am so glad to have another woman on this island! And one near my age! You have no idea how boring it can get here in the winter months." Bella relaxes into me. She can sense this young woman's sincerity too. "Have you both been around the island much? I know there isn't much here but I would love to show you around."

Bella looks up at me for permission and I refuse to give her any push in one direction or another. She uses her gift then. _"Can we?"_ She asks me with so much excitement in her voice I want to break into song and dance at her happiness. _"It's up to you darlin."_ Bella smiles at me and then at the young lady in front of us.

"We would love too. Just let me grab my coat." Bella squeals out and runs to her room for jacket. It's not pouring down rain but it's sprinkling. Eimear seems just as excited as Bella does and looks around the cottage more. Once Bella comes out we head out.

"So what brought you guys here? We don't get a lot of new faces and never Americans at that!" Eimear says with a smile.

_"What do we say Jasper?" _Bella asks anxiously through her gift. _"It's alright I've thought of this."_ Bella relaxes and I try to keep the conversation cheery.

"We just needed a change. We lived in New York City and after our third break in I decided we needed to live somewhere safer. It got to the point where Mary Ann didn't even feel safe to be home alone. So we sold off everything and moved. I had always wanted to farm and Mary Ann is indulging me a bit on that whim."

Eimear puts her arm around Bella's shoulders and Bella tenses for a minute like Eimear could strike her at any moment. It's another sign of how badly Edward has messed with her that is afraid of a human. As if a human could ever hurt us! I send her has much calm has I can without effecting Eimear. "You poor dear. I promise it is safe here. I can't even remember the last time we had a real crime here. Teenagers will sometimes do stupid stuff but that's what they do of course. Most of us don't even lock our doors here!"

"That exactly the kind of place we were hoping to find." Bella says quietly. We walk over to Eimear's and she loads us in her car. We drive around the island and she shows us the sites and necessities. After showing us the grocery store we head to the local pub.

Has we walk in all eyes move to us. Bella starts to panic and I quickly grab her hand and send her peace. _"It's alright Bella. They are just excited to see new faces."_ Bella calms down and Eimear guides us to a bar top table. We order some beers and sit down to talk.

"So how did you like it?" She asks us. I can feel the pride she feels for the island pouring off her. Bella brightens up and forces herself to take a sip of her beer. "I love it. Truly I do." Eimear is beaming at Bella's compliment on the island.

"I work at the only medical facility, it's just a small practice, on the island and I'll show you that before we go home so you know where to go if you need it. Oh and I will show you the school too. Only I guess that might be closing soon." I wonder why she seems so anxious about the school.

"Why is the school closing?" Bella is lost in the conversation with our new neighbor. She's too busy having fun to be anxious.

"Our teacher had to retire. She was getting to old. We only have one school and once the kids get out of primary school they have to go boarding schools on the mainland as it is but now they are going to have to go to the main land from the beginning. The parents of the younger kids are worried sick and we have been trying to get someone here before school starts." So that is why she is so anxious.

"I have a teaching degree!" Bella blurts out. After she realizes what she said she clamps her hand over her mouth and starts to shake. She is afraid, making herself sick with fear. _"I am sorry Jasper I shouldn't have spoken out of turn. Please…"_ I cut her off before she can apologize. She's already bracing herself for a beating I would never give her. _"There is nothing to apologize about Bella. Do you want to teach?"_ She gives me a smile and shakes her head yes with a big smile on her face. Even if I thought I could deny her something seeing that smile on her face would make me agree to anything she wanted.

"You're kidding me! You would want to teach here?" Eimear is amazed and feels like this is too good to be true. Bella reaches across the table and grabs Eimear's hand in excitement. She quickly drops it when she realizes she made physical contact and Eimear looks at me confused at Bella's sudden reaction to drop her hand.

"I would love to teach here. I have a degree in teaching English and also primary education. Once we get the internet hooked up and I get David to get my transcripts sent here and I can send in a formal application." She is nervous but so happy. The Mate in me is thrilled she is happy and Mars is content to sit back knowing our mate is so joyous. When Bella is anxious, scared, or even just a bit on edge Mars wants to break out and wreck havoc. It takes almost every bit of my will power to keep him subdued.

Eimear shakes her head no. "No please just take it now! We can't offer you a large salary but it's decent."

"I'll take it!" Bella shouts out with excitement pouring off every syllable. "And please don't worry about paying me. David and I come from rather wealthy families. I don't need the money." She says quietly slightly embarrassed.

Eimear starts to protest when I break it. "It's true. My parents were loaded and passed it all to their only child. Mary Ann's family was also rather well off. We aren't hurting finically and I know that she would rather the money go back in the school."

"This is like to good to be true! Can I pinch you? Make sure you're real." Eimear asks astounded. Bella giggles, actually giggles. The first time I've heard her giggle in years. "I promise this is true. I really want to do to this. I wanted to teach so badly…." Bella gets lost in her thoughts for a minute and I put my arm around her shoulders. Eimear realizes that there must be something else to this story but not wanting to prod keeps her questions to herself.

"Hey everyone!" Eimear calls out to pub. Everyone looks at us expectantly. "We got ourselves a new school teacher!" Everyone in the pub is still for a moment then they erupt in cheers. Bella is beaming next to me. Her smile is reaching her eyes and I want to just bottle up the emotions going through her right now to remind her of them later.

We stay in the pub for a few hours and different parents come in and out to meet the new teacher. News travels fast on a small island. Eimear drives us back home and reminds Bella to meet her and a few others at the school tomorrow morning to get acquainted with it.

"Jasper!" Bella squeals once we are alone in our cottage. She jumps and pulls me into a tight hug. "I am going to be a teacher!" I hold her to me relishing in the contact with her. "I finally get to teach!"

She pulls back and looks in my eyes. We lock gazes and it seems to last an eternity when in reality it's just a moment. I want to lean down and kiss her. The Mate is beating against me begging me to just move my lips a few inches and claim my mate's mouth. But I push him back and stand strong. "Yes you are. I'm glad you are so excited Bella. It's nice to see you smile so much."

If she could blush she would be. She turns her head a little to the side. Her gaze falling on the floor, a secret smile on her lips. My mind comes to a halt. That is it! Right there! That is the Bella from the picture that Alice drew me on the first day she told me about my mate. My heart bursts and the Mate purrs internally. I want to rush to my room and grab the colored picture I have carried with me for over 50 years and compare the two but I can't imagine leaving her side right now.

The moment changes and she starts to tense. The feeling of being inferior and pathetic slowly creeps over her. "Will I be a good teacher? Edward always said I would be horrible. He was afraid my blood lust would get the best of me and that I would kill one of the children." Panic starts to bubble in her and I know she is headed for a break down. DAMN HIM! She was so fucking happy a minute ago and now she is panicking again. No amount of torturing Edward will ever make the Mate and Mar's feel satisfied. That bastard better fucking hope I never see him again.

I pull her into my arms again and she continues to dry sob into my chest. I send her calm, peace, and happiness. I pat her hair and rock her slightly. "Bella you will be great. You are the most in control vampire I have ever met. The kids will love you, the parents will love you…" I love you… "And everything will be fine. I promise you that everything will be fine. Edward is a fucking idiot and has no clue what he is talking about. Besides if there was even a possibility of a problem Alice would have called by now to tell you not to."

Bella slowly relaxes and is soon motionless in my arms. "Yes you are right. Thank you. You always know the right thing to say." She says into my chest unwilling to move. I let her stay put and after a few minutes she lifts her gaze to my eyes. "How can you put up with me?"

"Bella I am not putting up with you has you put it. This is the best time I've had in decades. There is nowhere else in the world I would rather be than on this island here with you." I hope that's not too obvious. I don't want to scare her yet. I don't think she's ready to know who I am to her yet.

Her face breaks into a big smile. A true smile just for me. "I know what you mean. This last week has been the best week of my vampire life. Even if it doesn't seem like it. I know I seem like a mess but I am truly the happiest I've been in decades too."

God I want to kiss her. I want to mark her mine. I want to carry her into the bedroom lay her out on the bed and take off all her clothes and love her. I want my scent all over her and in her so that no male will ever think to touch her. But I can't. I have to stay strong. She needs a friend right now. I can do that, I can be that. But god I want her.

a/n So what did you think?


	23. Chapter 23

Emmet's POV

Losing my sister is the most painful thing I have ever gone through. I feel like a shell of myself. I haven't even been able to eat. Rose keeps trying to force feed me but I don't want it. I can't stomach the thought of eating right now. It's just too much.

I have… no had a very special bond with my little sister. Vampires always talk about the bond between mates but they forget there are other bonds that we form. Bella and I had one of those. We truly feel like siblings. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her and nothing she wouldn't do for me.

When Edward took her away from the family, and I know it was his idea because she was so happy here, I moped around for months. Even Rose in her skimpiest lingerie wasn't enticing enough to get me out of my funk. I eventually had to but it wasn't easy.

We all talked about Bella and how much we missed her. It started with all of us talking about missing them. How lonely the house seemed without Edward, Bella, Renesmee and Jake. But Jake and Renesmee kept visiting and we saw them frequently. And slowly but surely the family stopped commenting on how they missed Edward and it was just Bella. We all missed her and we all blamed Edward for taking her away from us.

Jasper was just as fucked up as I was. I don't know what his bond is with her but he just sat drinking alcohol in his room only leaving to hunt for years. Not even Alice's antics could get a smile out of him.

Alice is a nervous wreck. Vampires aren't supposed to be a wreck but Alice is. I don't know what is going on with her. She is jumpy and acting paranoid. Her hair is a mess, her clothes are filthy. I've never seen her not perfectly put together ready to grace the covers of any fashion magazine. She is always having hushed conversations on the phone with random vampires. I don't know what is going on with her. I guess she is doing better than Esme though. Esme has taken to her room. Carlisle has taken off from work to take care of her. I know he has been bringing her blood. He slews the animal outside and drains it into the cup. He slips into their room and tires to force feed her like Rose is doing for me. We can all hear her sobbing all day and night. She is broken, just like me.

"Emmett?" Rose asks slinking in through our window. She has an animal in her hands and she's walking slowly towards me not sure what I will do. I try to smile at her but it comes out totally faked. "I brought you something to eat." She tells me handing the small animal out to me.

I want to make her happy and I take the animal and I try to drink. I break it neck and I sink my teeth into its neck. I take a sip and I try to finish it but I'm too distraught. I'm just not ready to eat yet. "I'm sorry Rose I tried."

Rose sits behind me and wraps her legs and arms around me. "It's alright honey. You do what you need to do." I don't know what I do without Rose. I lean back into her and just try to relax. "Renesmee and Jake called me last night. They wanted to know if we wanted to go visit them. It's already cleared and we can go on the reservation if we want too."

"Really?" Maybe being near Bella's daughter will help me. I feel Rose shaking her head behind me has she squeezes me even tighter. "Why don't we pack and head out soon? I am going to see if Esme and Carlisle want to come too. Alice just ran off. She left a note about having to do something with her mate or something but she just kind of disappeared."

See what I mean? She has been totally paranoid lately! "Do you think Carlisle will be able to get Esme to come?"

"I hope so. She needs to get out. She's been in there for a month." She finished quietly. I know Rose has been just as worried as I have been but Esme is inconsolable. I'm not sure if our family can ever heal from this loss.

"Rose what happened with Renesmee and her dad that day?" I can't say the day that Bella died yet out loud. Nobody wanted to talk about Renesmee's response to her dad but we all saw it. He lunged at her and Jake shifted to protect her. Then the next thing we all knew Edward was on his back and Renesmee was shooting daggers at him and her eyes were practically black with rage. I know that she was yelling at him with her mind.

It takes a few moments for her to respond. Rose takes in a deep unneeded breath. "I'm not sure but I have my suspensions."

I turn around so I can face Rose. "What is it?" I asked kind of afraid. What could she possibly know or suspect that she hasn't told me.

"I think that… God Emmett… I think that… well Renesmee told me that…" She stops and puts her face in her hands. She stops for a moment then looks up at me with venom pooling her eyes. "Renesmee came to me and she said that… she worried about…. She said she and Jake thought that Edward was hurting her."

I jump out of the bed and stand over her. "He was hurting my sister!" I growl out loudly. "Why did you say anything?" I don't know if I ever been thing angry before.

Rose jumps up and faces me. "Renesmee came to me with her worry. We were keeping an eye out and I went to Jasper to ask him to read her. I don't know if he was hurting her but, well, you saw how he was with her! Something was going on. I just don't know what for sure." She starts to shake and I can tell she's worried I'm mad at her. Her fear is pumping through our mating bond and I need to reassure her.

I grab Rose and pull her to me. I hold her tight and kiss the top of her head. "I'm not mad at you sweetheart. I am just angry and confused. I don't know what to do with the information you told me yet and I'm still so angry and sad and everything in between."

Rose dry sobs into me. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I should have but I didn't want to without knowing what was going on. I just couldn't believe it at first. But then that day with the animals. He didn't want her to eat. There is just something about how he was with her that scared me. She didn't sleep in their room when you all left."

I give her a confused look. "What do you mean she didn't sleep in her room?" No one has said anything about this before.

"The day you all left it took her hours to leave her room. When she came down stairs she was shaky and nervous. Her eyes were bright red because Carlisle made Alice give her human blood. Then she smelled funny, like she was leaking venom. After that she refused to spend any time in her and Edward's room and she moved into Jasper's room."

Into Jasper's room? What would she be in there for? Maybe they do have bond. That's possible but what bond? "We'll figure it out. Why don't you call Renesmee and tell her we're coming. I'll go talk to Carlisle, see if we can get Esme to come."

Rose shakes her head and picks up her phone to call Renesmee. I walk down to Esme and Carlisle's room and knock on the door. Carlisle opens the door slightly and looks back at Esme and slips out the door. He looks tired. "Why can I do for you son?"

"Dad, Renesmee called Rose and she invited us to come out to the reservation for a bit. She thought it might help." Carlisle doesn't move for a minute. I know he is thinking about how best to take care of her. He slowly shakes his head and rubs his face with his hands. "I will talk to her." He says and turns back into his room.

I hope he can convince Esme to come. I think it will help us. Maybe going back to Forks and being with Renesmee will help everyone. I just hope it will help me.

Alice's POV

I have to get to him. Edward has made his threat and I don't know if he will hurt him. He's just a child, a baby really. I can't leave him unprotected. I don't know what I am going to do to keep him safe. Edward is stronger than me but my gift should help me know if he is going to attack but I don't know if I can beat him. The problem is that I will need to try my hardest. I will not survive if Edward kills him.

He is playing in his room on the floor right now. He has his toys out all around him including the train set that I got him for his birthday. I love him so much. Right now it's not a romantic love. I love him like a little kid. The need to protect him has taken over me completely since Edward's most recent threat. If he feels like I ratted him out he is going to kill my mate. And that will destroy me. I have done everything I could to protect him, even to the determent of my best friend, but I couldn't stand by any longer. She needed to be free from that monster.

I wish I could tell my family that Bella isn't really dead but I have to wait. I have to make sure my mate is like me before I risk telling them the truth. I know that is horrible. I am allowing the people I love most to suffer because I can't risk losing my mate. But all of them have mates and they should understand the need to protect them . Even Emmett wouldn't risk Rose for Bella. It's almost physically impossible for a vampire to do something that could end in the death of their mate.

The look on Esme's face when we told them that Bella was dead will haunt me for the rest of my life, even after she knows that her daughter is alive. Esme and Bella always had a special relationship. Bella is the baby of the family and unlike the rest of us choose to become a vampire to spend her life with us. Esme loves us all equally but she has a special spot on her heart for Bella. The last month has been horrible to watch. She won't leave her bed. She just lays there and cries out. She won't eat, she won't move. Carlisle is trying to make her better. The pain and suffering through their bond I know is crippling to Carlisle. He won't let us into their room. He knows he should but the bond makes him want to protect her until she is better. We are strange creatures sometimes but we all understand what he is doing and why. He has built a safe nest for his precious mate incase a hostel vampire comes and tries to attack her. I am a bit worried though that Esme can't be fixed. I may have gone too far in this plan and fully broken her. I didn't look in the future to see how the family would be affected I just needed to know that Edward didn't kill anyone. And he hasn't and as of right now he shouldn't but Esme is still a casualty.

There's a rustling behind me and I immediately crouch in front of my mate's bedroom window. The only way to him is through me. I can smell it, vampire. "Don't be alarmed pixie it's just Charlotte and me." I hear through the trees. I immediately relax. I run and jump on them both giving them tight hugs. "I am so glad it's just you two!"

Charlotte chuckles and pets my hair. "Peter knew you needed our help and after what you did for our brother we are in your debt. We will help you defend you little mate until he is like us. If Edward comes to attack though we will kill him."

I laugh. "Please do! The only reason I haven't found a way to kill him already is because of Bella. She doesn't want him killed because of Renesmee despite the fact that even his own daughter wants to kill him."

I have always liked Peter and Charlotte. They are kind even if they do eat humans, but they only kill humans that deserve it in their minds. Yes they are playing God but they are good and I trust them with my life. Peter flicks the ends of my hair. "You look like shit Alice. How long have you been out here?"

"umm.." I know I should know right off the bat but I have to count the days. "Over a week. I watch him through his window then follow him where ever he goes. I can't risk Edward getting to him." I say pitifully.

They put me between them and put their arms around my shoulders. "We are here to help now. Trust us, Edward cannot go up against us and win even with his gift. That fucker has no clue how to fight and we've been fighting since we were created. Also I'm pretty sure that Jasper has been teaching you a few moves over the decades. We will keep your little mate safe and before you know it he will be like us." Peter reassures me.

I let out a sigh of relief. I feel better knowing they are here. "Should we move them? Maybe we could come up with some reason they got a new house that is safer and somewhere Edward won't think to look."

Peter smiles and shakes his head pulling out an envelope. "Already on that pixie. We got them a house in Texas that's on our ranch. We already have security precautions up and we will be able to defend them better there. They will think that a long lost relative died and left them the house. Charlotte even got a company down there to call the dad tomorrow and offer him a huge pay raise to come down there. Everything will alright." Things don't usually surprise me but this does. I guess I have been so worried watching for Edward that I haven't seen what these amazing people were doing for me. I pull them both into a tight hug. "Thank you so much."

Charlotte kisses the top of my head. "You're an honorary Whitlock. This is what we do for family." She says has if it explains everything. "Now why don't you go feed and clean up and Peter and I will take the first watch." I reluctantly agree but I know if I am not well fed I am not good to my little mate. Poor William, his life is in such peril because he had the fortunate luck of being the future mate to a vampire who sees the future.

a/n I know you guys probably wanted to see what was going on with Jasper and Bella but I wanted to show you guys the aftermath. Hope you liked it!


	24. Chapter 24

a/n sorry I didn't respond to all my reviewers so I would like to thank you all now! Those reviews really make my day!

Bella's POV

I love teaching. It has made me so happy. I love being with the kids and helping them learn. I love having the money to acquire the supplies they need. I just love it. Edward never let me work so this is huge for me. I enjoy leaving the house every morning with a purpose. Jasper has even been going with me and staying outside just so I feel safe. I am doing better but I am by no means one hundred percent perfect. Loud noises startle me, fast movements terrify me, and anytime I do something I perceive as wrong I still flinch. But then there is Jasper. Perfect Jasper. Always there to remind me I am safe and that nothing can get me.

"Bella you ready to head out?" He yells at me from the kitchen. We were working on tiling that last night. I know we don't need to cook but this is a small island and we have already been invited to 4 homes for dinner and we need to start returning the favor. I am excited to cook. I enjoy doing it even if I can't enjoy tasting it. Not only that but I want Jake and Renesmee to be able to come visit us.

"Yea I'm just getting my boots on." I respond to him zippering up my boots. I check myself in the mirror. My hair is lustrous again and my skin sparkles in the sun like it hasn't for decades. I am getting back to the girl I knew before I was turned but very slowly. "Have you told yourself one thing you like about yourself yet today?" Jasper asks me throwing me my jacket.

I shake my head no and look down at my feet. I still can't look in the mirror and find something I can even tolerate about myself. Jasper takes me hand and drags me to the bathroom. He makes me face the mirror and he meets my gaze in the reflection. "You Isabella Swan are funny. You may have forgotten that but you make people laugh." I smile at him but refuse to look at myself. I can't see myself yet.

"Come on the kids are expecting you. And don't forget the cupcakes you baked them last night." Last night we got the oven working and I just had to try it out. There isn't a cafeteria at school and the kids all bring their lunches. Some of their parents don't have a lot of money and I know that they don't get a well balanced meal at home. So I try to bring in what I can. Those 19 kids are quickly filling up the sad excuse that is left of my heart.

I grab the cupcakes and we walk to the school house. Before I go in I face Jasper. "You don't have to stay today. I think I can do this." I tell him confidently. He sends me a swell of pride. "That's my girl. You can do anything."

Before I can respond one of the kids come running up to me. She is one of my kindergarteners and her name is Abby. "Mrs. Jennings! Look what I drew for homework last night!" She squeals wrapping her arms around my waist.

I pick her up and she thrusts the paper in front of me. It's a crude picture of her family and her in front of their home. It's strange though because her dad is frowning in the picture. "It's beautiful Abby. Why don't you go put that up on the wall." I tell her giving her all the positive reinforcement I can. She is one of the poorest students I have and I know that it must be hard for her.

"Hello Mr. David." Abby says to Jasper running into the school house. All the kids love Jasper. He stayed in the class room a few days with me because I was worried to be alone with them. Edward had convinced me that I was a blood thirsty monster. Now I know that it isn't true and I have excellent will power. Not once have the kids made my thirsty. Not even last week why Jack and Tommy got in a fight and Tommy's nose started to bleed. I guess I just love the kids to much too ever hurt them. Jasper enjoyed staying in the classroom too. He has a few history degrees and a teaching one thrown in there too so he has been a big help. We have talked about him coming in to teach some of the kids too. I took over from the old teacher who was going to quit at the end of the year but when I said I would teach she thanked me and begged to quit early. She was 85 years old and exhausted. Next year we are only losing two students to go to the main land for middle school but we are gaining 6 new little ones. So Jasper might start teaching with me.

Jasper sends me Abby's happiness and I smile. "I'll see you after school. Good luck with the kitchen." I tell him as I get ready to go into the school house.

"If you need me for any reason just send me a message through your gift and I'll be here in a flash. Have a good day." He says kissing my forehead. All the islanders think we are married so we need to keep that up. To be honest I crave his contact. It's the first positive contact I have had in years and it reminds me that not all touch is painful.

I run into the school house and get my things set up and put the cupcakes in the small kitchen off the main room. All the students make it in and I start my lecture. I break the children up in to groups by their age. I try to work with each group individually and give the other groups projects to do while they are waiting for their personal instruction.

Things are going well today until lunch time. The children put away their school supplies and we all head into the kitchen. Each kid gets their lunch and I hand out the cupcakes I made the night before. Jack and Tommy are starting to fight again and I go to break it up when Jack's orange juice goes flying and covers Abby head to toe in juice. She looks up at them startled and her chin starts to quiver and I can tell she is about to cry. "Jack! Tommy! You both go into the school room and I want you to write me a 1000 word essay and why it is not alright to rough house in school!" Both boys turn white and run out of the room.

"Abby honey, it's alright. Let's get you cleaned up." I walk over to her and she starts to cry and I pick her up and carry her to the bathroom. I have pulled together some extra clothes at school because a lot of the students are younger and accidents happen.

I pull out a dress that is about her size and hand it to her to put on. "Why don't you change sweetie and I'll rinse out your clothes so they don't stain." I tell her softly hoping she doesn't get upset. Abby frowns and looks up at me and I can tell she is terrified. "Is my outfit ruined Mrs. Jennings?"

I shake my head no and get down on her level. "It just needs some water it will be fine honey. Now let's get you in some dry clothes."

Abby lifts her arms up and I realize she wants me to help her change. I help pull off her shirt and while I do she keeps talking. "I'm glad it's not ruined. Daddy would be really made if I ruined another outfit."

Once her top is off I stifle a shriek. There is a huge bruise on her left side and another one on her right shoulder. "Honey what happened to your shoulder and side?" I ask her trying to keep my voice calm.

Abby shrugs her shoulder and lifts her arms again for me to put the loaner dress on her. I put it on and pull it down till it's straightened. "Abby what happened the last time you ruined an outfit?" I look down at Abby and her little eyes start to well up and it doesn't take an empath to know she is worried. "It's ok Abby you can tell me. It won't be angry."

She looks around as if someone could be listening to us and motions for me to come closer. I get on my knees again and she cups her hand and whispers into my ear. "Daddy doesn't like it when I waste money. I fell and ripped a hole in a pair of jeans and he wasn't happy. Mommy told me daddy was sorry and didn't mean it but I was bad." Then she pulls back and looks down at her little feet as she toes the ground. After a moment she turns around and goes back to the kitchen to finish her meal.

Oh god. That man is hurting his little girl. I can feel my anxiety raising and I stifle a growl. That man is hurting his daughter! I feel a buzzing in my mind and it takes me a minute to realize it's Jasper trying to reach me through my gift. I finally open up and allow him to communicate with me. _"BELLA! BELLA! Are you alright darlin?"_ He shouts through my gift.

_"I need you Jasper."_ I whisper back. I can feel my legs getting weak. Everything that Edward had ever done to me is running through my mind. Only I am seeing it happen to this little angel in front of me.

Jasper comes tearing through the school house and I hear all the kids say hi to him. He waves to them and doesn't stop till he finds me. I give him a broken look and he crosses the room and grabs me in a tight hug. "What happened?" He asks me low enough that none of the children could hear us.

I can't say it out loud yet. I send it to him via my gift. _"Jasper it's Abby."_ I stop and look back at her sitting at the table. She is smiling again and eating her food. I send him the image of Abby's bruised body and I can feel him tense. "_I think her father did that to her." _ I can't say anymore. I collapse into his chest and wait there till my head stops spinning.

"I am going to stay and help you finish the class and then we are going to talk to her mother when she comes in today." Jasper tells me. I shake my head and he slowly lets me go and I feel a bit better. Jasper is here and he has a plan.

The rest of the day is a blur. The classes go quickly and by the end of the day I feel exhausted. I might ask Jasper to help me rest tonight. The kids file out as their parents come to pick them up but I find a way to keep Abby till the rest of the kids have left. Her mom is waiting for her at the school house door and I get her soiled clothes in a bag and walk over to her. _"Do you need me?" _ Jasper asks me. I shake my head no.

"Mrs. Shea can we talk for a minute?" I ask her. She shakes her head and I escort her to my desk. "Abby why don't you play with one of the puzzles I just want to let your mom know about what happened to your clothes today." Abby smiles and happily pulls out a puzzle and dumps it out on the floor. Jasper goes over to her and helps her put it together.

For the first time I notice how timid and shy Mrs. Shea is. She reminds me of me a few weeks ago when I was still under Edwards control. "Mrs. Shea today some of the boys were rough housing and they spilled juice all over Abby's outfit. I had a spare dress here and I got her cleaned up. She has bruises though and she told me that she was her daddy wouldn't be happy if her outfit was ruined." The woman in front of me starts to wring her hands together and Jasper sends me what she is feeling. She is terrified, nervous, and filled with shame. "If something is happening at home I can help."

The woman refuses to look at me she just stares at her hands. "He's not a bad man. He just gets a bit angry sometimes. He works so hard and he is so tired when he gets home and money is so tight these days." I know all those excuses. I had made so many for Edward over the past 35 years.

"Mrs. Shea if you need help I can help. I know what you are going through." She finally looks up at me. "What do you know?" She barks back at me.

I pull up my sleeve just a little to show the scars around my wrists. "Before I found David I was in an abusive relationship. I know more than you think."

She pushes her seat back so fast it crashes behind her. "Nothing is happening and no one is being abused." She storms over to Abby and grabs her little hand and runs out of the school. I sit there in shock for a few minutes and Jasper comes over to sit with me.

"I know it's rough but at least she knows she can talk to you. Just give her time." He tells me softly. I over at him and shake my head. "I can't give her time if Abby is being hurt."

Jasper stays quiet for a few minutes. "What do you want to do?" He has been really big on letting me make my own decisions lately. Sometimes I hate it because I am so used to being told what to do. It's more difficult than I thought it would be to take over my own life again.

"I want to kill him." I respond harshly.

a/n SOOOOOO sorry it has taken me this long to post! I work full time and I am a grad student working on my thesis. I am exhausted and lucky to have time to sleep let alone work on my stories, which I love to do. Don't worry I haven't forgotten about this story and all of you who review it really make my day and I feel bad that I haven't been posting as frequently as I would like. Sorry again and I hope you all enjoyed it.


	25. Chapter 25

a/n sorry I totally suck and haven't posted in like a month and half. My life has just been crazy with work school break ups all kind of annoying stuff. so without further ado here is chapter 25

Jaspers POV

"I want to kill him." Bella says scarily calm but with anger building. I stare at her for a moment trying to decide if she means I want to kill him like I'm so mad I could kill him or I want to actually kill him. I can't tell through her facial expressions though.

"So... do you want to kill him tonight?" I ask her kind of confused. She stares at me coldly and shakes her head no. "I want to give Mrs. Shea a chance to leave him first but if I see another bruise on that sweet little girl I am going to kill him. It's one thing or the mother to be an adult and choose to stay with a man who beats her, it's another for an innocent child to be beaten by a man that she has no choice in the matter."

I shake my head in agreement and stand up waiting for her to join me. We quickly clean up the school house and turn off the lights and head back home at human speed. It's good for us to mingle with the locals and seem like we are part of the community in such a small area like this. We have quickly been welcomed into their folds. We have gone to their homes to eat and meet with them at the local pub. We both feel included. I can feel how happy and at home Bella truly is here.

When we get home Bella slinks off into her room and shuts the door. She doesn't often close herself off from me but I know that sometimes it's just a lot for her to take. She still hasn't fully opened up to me about everything that happened to her but what I do know is horrible so I can only imagine what I don't know. She has alluded to me that her body looks like mine under all the sweaters and jeans she wears and I just pray she doesn't have to live with the scars I do. I am comfortable with them now but I by no means find any kind of joy out of them. Bella said they show my strength I disagree. They are just a constant reminder to me why Bella deserves so much better in a mate.

I go to work on the kitchen. I finished the tiles but still need to place the counter tops. Peter had sent us some marble counters to install so I haven't had to leave her even once for supplies. After the counter is placed and I have the sink hooked up Bella comes out of her room. I can tell she is upset but I am going to wait for her to talk to me. She needs to be able to express herself and not depend on someone else to do it for her. Edward has messed her up and it is my duty to help put her back together. Make her the strong woman she was before he took her away from me. She is my mate after all.

"Jasper if I kill him will you think less of me?" She asks quietly. If I wasn't a vampire I wouldn't have heard it. I move out from under the sink and wipe my hands off on my jeans. I shake my head no. "Bella if you want to kill him that is up to you. I have killed many people over my life. You haven't yet. It's something you have to decide if you can live with. When I killed them I only thought of them has a food source and it wasn't that difficult for me. Now it's different. The few times I have slipped have been very hard on me. But this is an evil man. Any man that hurts his woman and child losses all respect in my eyes. If you can live with it I will never think less of you."

Bella just shakes her head and I can see the wheels turning in her head. "Can we go eat?" She asks me meekly. Again I wish she didn't feel the need to ask me before she does something but 50 years of Edward is hard to forget. I smile and take her hand and lead her outside. It's not really hunting when you are going after sheep. Maybe once school is out for summer I'll take Bella to Russia where we can really have fun hunting. But for now this is what she needs. Something easy and accessible. I am getting a bit sick of sheep's blood but I won't even entertain the idea of leaving her for even a minute to get something else.

She is such a graceful hunter and eater. She merely jumps and lands on her prey quickly severing the jugular and drinking. She never wastes a drop and most certainly doesn't make a mess. Her hands are so gentle and soft on the creature as she puts it down. I can't wait till I get the chance to get under that graceful body. Dammit Jasper! You need to stop thinking of things like that. She isn't ready.

We both eat our fill and head back inside. Bella still seems on edge but she'll talk to me when she is ready. I can feel the anxiety building. "Jasper?" She asks me when she takes a seat on the couch. I turn around and her feet are pulled up under her and she's trying to hold herself in a tight ball. I sit down on the couch next to her and slowly put my arm around her shoulder so I don't startle her. "What's up darlin?" I can feel her pleasure at how I call her darlin. She likes when I use my southern draw so I make sure to use it as often as possible. I could bottle that emotion up and live off it.

Bella bites on her lip for a moment then slowly pulls her arms out of the tight ball she is holding herself in. She is extremely anxious and nervous. I can feel a bit of shame lacing through the other emotions. "I want to show you something. I am not ready to show you everything but I want you to understand why I want to kill that man. I choose to stay with Edward and have this done to me. I believed I deserved it. He made me feel like this was my punishment for not being what he wanted. But if he had touched Reneesme even once I would have left and allowed you all to kill him." Bella slowly rolls up the sleeves to the sweater she is wearing on the left arm then the right. I have only ever seen her wrist since we have gotten here and I remember the horrible creases that marred her skin showing where Edward has dismembered her. She slowly extends her arms into my lap so I can see them.

"He did this to you?" I choke out almost unable to comprehend what I am seeing. Bella shakes her head yes and lowers her gaze and looks at a spot on the floor. I gently take a hold of her arms and I trace over the many scars. There are creases and lines where he has ripped her arms off at all different places. There are numerous crescent shaped bite marks all over her arms. He has thoroughly marked her. The Mate in me starts to growl angrily. Mars in me starts to batter against me. He has hurt our mate and he has to die. We need to comfort and protect our mate.

I have lost control of myself and the Mate and Mars are in control. The Mate pulls Bella into our lap and continues to trace over her many scars. He starts to nuzzle into her. He wants to scent her and he wants to make her ours. Mars is thinking up 100 ways to kill Edward that will be long and painful.

"Jasper?" Bella's voice helps bring me back. I still can't speak but I am getting closer to controlling my own body. "Jasper it's alright. It looks worse than it is. I am fine now."

I shake my head no. I try my voice and it cracks. I take a deep breath and try again. "It is not alright. He did this to you. He has to pay for what he has done. He had no right." I growl out but I try not to raise my voice so I don't startle her. That boy had no right to touch our mate!

Bella buries her face in my chest and lets me keep her arms to trace over. She may not know she is my mate but her body is screaming for me to comfort and hold her, and I am eager to please her. "It's over now Jasper. I just want you to know why I have to kill him. I can't allow him to mark Abby like Edward has marked me. I won't allow that sweet girl to go through what I went through."

Now I know I will have no problem killing him either. Maybe Peter and Charlotte have the right idea. They take out filth like this every day so they can't hurt someone else. If I ever come face to face with Edward again he will not survive me, the Mate, or Mars. He will die.

Bella and I sit like this for hours and it is a great comfort to me and I know it is to her too. I need this so badly. It is better being with her every day but it is killer to not be able to hold her the way I want or love her the way I was built too.

The next morning I know Bella is nervous to go back to school. We don't know how Abby and her mom will look. Bella slowly gets dressed and before we leave the house I stop her. "Have you said one think you like about yourself yet?" I ask her.

She shakes her head no and I drag her back in to the bathroom and stand there until she meets my gaze in the mirror. "Bella Swan you are a strong woman. Not many women could survive what you have been through and still be so kind." I know she would be blushing if she could but she just looks pale and gorgeous. She leans over and nuzzles into me a bit. Maybe she is getting a second personality too. Maybe the mate in her needs me just like I need her.

On the way to the school house we pass many of our neighbors and everyone waves at us. I like living like this. It reminds me of the friendly south I grew up in. Everyone cares about each other here. I have missed this.

I stay with her once we get to the school house to see what is waiting for us. Most of the children are already here and Bella opens the doors and lets them in. Right before the bell rings I see Mrs. Shea and Abby walking up towards us. Mrs. Shea has quite a shiner and Abby is looking at the ground with her hair in front of her face. I can feel the fear and anxiety rolling off of Bella. Mrs. Shea hands Bella a bag. "Thanks for the clothes yesterday Mrs. Jennings. I washed them for you."

Bella takes them and gets down on her knees in front of Abby. "How are you this morning sweet heart?" Bella asks her. Abby slowly raises her head and pushes her hair back. I hold back a gasp but Bella isn't able to stop. "Abby dear what happened?!" Abby has a large bruise on her cheek and her lip is busted.

Before Abby can respond Mrs. Shea pulls her to her side. "We were in the kitchen last night when my pot rack fell down and hit us both. It was quite a spectacle and it took a long time to clean it all up."

Bella's gaze bores into Mrs. Shea and I am happy I am not on the receiving end of that look. "Abby why don't you go inside sweetheart." Bella tells her. When Abby walks past her Bella puts a guiding hand on her shoulder and Abby winces. "Sorry honey I'll be in a minute."

We all stand there silent for a moment. "Mrs. Shea I think we both know that it wasn't a pot that did that. I know it is hard but for Abby you need to get help. I can help you Mrs. Shea."

For a moment I think Mrs. Shea might take Bella up on her offer. Her eyes soften and I can feel her want. She wants help. She wants to get her daughter out of this hell. Then fear and dread take over her. They overwhelm her like a storm and I know she isn't ready to ask for help. "It was the pots Mrs. Jennings. I will see you at 3." Then she turns around and leaves.

We both watch her leave. Once she is out of viewing distance Bella collapses into me. "I need you to get some things ready for me by tonight Jasper." I rub her back. "I need you to find a way to set up life insurance policy for that despicable man that will go to his wife and daughter after I am done with him." I don't question her. This is her call and I will do whatever she wants.

"I am only a thought away. Call me if you need me and I'll see you after school." Bella shakes her head sadly at me and walks into the school. Today is going to be a hard day for her.

I spend most the day working on what she wanted. It isn't difficult for me to set these kinds of things up anymore. I have it set up so it looks like he bought into some life insurance plan 5 years ago. It is going to "pay double" in the case of an accidental death under the age of 40. I also have a third cousin twice removed who was very wealthy dying here in the next few days. Abby and her mother should have plenty of money to support themselves for the rest of their lives.

At 3 I head to the school. I take the stairs and stop at the door to the class room. Bella is sitting at her desk with her head in her hands. She looks worn out and exhausted. All the children have left and it's just us. "You ready to go home?" I ask quietly.

She slowly raises her head and shakes it once. She crosses the room at vampire speed and wiggles her way into my arms. I give her all the comfort I can. She's my mate and she needs me desperately right now. "Her back and shoulders have huge bruises too Jasper. I could smell the bruises on the surface of her skin." A bruise is only blood welling at the surface and we are built to find blood. I don't respond and we head back home.

We sit in silence until 7 pm when Bella stands up. "He should be at the pub now. We will watch him until he leaves. I want to bring him back to our barn before we do anything." This is her show. I am going to let her handle this anyway she wants too.

Just like she said he is sitting at the bar in the pub. He has a few pints emptied in front of him and he is laughing with one of his friends. I don't like the look of him. He looks smug. His red hair is has red has the fury I feel in my gut. He is going to die tonight for what he has done to his family.

The last thing we want is for someone to connect us to this murder. We want to be able to live here for awhile. We sit outside hiding in the dark until this asshole stumbles his way out of the pub. He is joking with one of his friends about how his wife is warming his bed at home. We both creep behind him and lurk in the shadows until he is alone on the walk home. Bella quickly comes up behind him and knocks him out. I can tell she doesn't want to touch him yet and I pick him up and throw him over my shoulder and run him back to our barn.

I drop him in the center of the barn on a tarp and the sheep are baaing around us. They don't like this man anymore than I do! Bella comes into the barn with rope and ties his hands up and throws the rope over one of the rungs and begins to pull him to his feet. Once he is only holding himself up by his toes she stops pulling.

"Wake up ass hole!" Bella screams out while throwing a bucket of water over the man dangling in front of us. HIs eyes slowly open and assess the situation. "What the fuck are you doing?" He asks. Not quite realizing how incapacitated he truly is. He tries to fight his restraints to no avail.

Bella stalks around him like a wolf would their prey. Her eyes have a predators glint to them. I can feel the confidence and hatred in her. "I have seen what you have done to Abby and your wife. You are going to pay for it." Bella spits out at him.

He actually fucking laughs. "I haven't done a god damned things to either of them." I can feel that he is lying. He is nervous. Bella hits him hard across the face. Not at full vampire strength but stronger than any woman her size could hope to hit. "Do not lie to me or I will rip out your tongue. I have seen what you have done to them."

Realization dawns on his face. "You are that bitch of teacher that just started here aren't you. I guess your man hasn't taught you a woman's place!" Bella's emotions go through a quick roller coaster of anger and fear. Unfortunately for her Edward has "taught" her a woman's place.

I walk out of the shadows and allow Mars to take over me. He is best for things like this. I can feel the cold hearted killer taking control of the situation. When Mr. Shea sees me he is hopeful for a moment until he looks into my eyes. Men like him can recognize the killer in me. He knows he's a dead man. I stop next to Bella and pull her into me. "Unlike you I don't need to hurt my woman to make her respect me. She's my equal and knows her place at my side." Bella relaxes into me and I know for just a moment she takes comfort in my scent. Then she pushes off from me and walks up the man tied up.

"No amount of torture that I could put you through would make up for what you did to your wife and child. I am going to kill you and I am going to like it. Once I have disposed of your body I am going to never think of you again and Abby and your wife are going to receive a lot of money and will probably never think of you again either. Except for the rare occasion that someone asks them what happened to you. They will smirk and say who the fuck cares what happened to that waste of human flesh. Because that is what you are, you are a waste of human flesh. You are no better than a infected scab on the human body. You are the pus that needs to be drained and the infection that needs to be squashed. Your infection will never affect another human being again."

Before he can respond Bella kicks him in the balls. I shutter for a moment knowing how much that must hurt then Mars lets out a loud cackle. Mars walks up the man and punches him in the shoulder giving him the same bruise that Abby had and then some. I know the shoulder is dislocated now.

Bella pulls out a knife from her back pocket and slits his jugular and the arteries on his wrists. My blood lust starts to rise and I move just an inch towards him but Bella stops me. "No Jasper. We do not put that kind of infection into us. We do no feed from him." I take a struggled step back and stand with my mate as I watch the man in front of us bleed out. I am proud of my mate. Mars approves, the Mate approves, and I approve of how she is handling this.

Once he has stopped kicking Bella cuts the rope and carries him outside. I follow her to out dock where she drops him in the harsh tide below. "They may find his body." She says into the wind. We turn back and quickly clean up the barn. She had laid down a tarp beneath him so it isn't so hard to clean up the blood.

I follow her back into our home and she goes into the bathroom and shuts the door. I can feel her pain has she turns on the shower and washes off the blood. After an hour she comes out in a thick turtle neck and sweat pants. I changed clothes and washed my hands thoroughly in the sink. She heads into her room and jumps into her bed. "Jasper can you lay with me for a bit please?"

I don't need to be asked that twice and I jump into the bed next to her. I wrap my arms around her and she moves into my body so her face is buried into my chest. I can feel her getting comfort from my smell and presence. "I don't regret what I did it's just hard."

Bella continues to lay there and I send her calm and comfort and help her drift off for a bit. This is the first night that I have been able to lay with my mate like I have wanted since I meet her. This is what my duty is. To protect, calm, and keep my mate feeling happy and safe.

a/n so what y'all think?


	26. Chapter 26

Renesmee's POV

"When are they going to get here Jacob!" I whine again for like the eighth time this hour. Jacob laughs at me and kisses my neck. "It's fine Nessie. They will be here soon."

I don't want to wait. I want them all here now. I miss my mom so much but at least I don't think she is dead. Everyone else does. I can only imagine how painful that is for them. Jake rubs my shoulders for a second. "Why are you so tense. They will be here soon sweetheart." He reminds me.

"I know it's just I miss mom and I can only imagine how messed up they all are thinking she is dead. I just want them here and I want to know they are ok." He pulls me into him and I feel safe in his big warm arms. "They will be here soon." He says kissing my forehead. Seth and Emery are staying with some of the younger pack members so we can have some private time with my family. The younger members of the pack stay on the reservation and protect everyone and also help the new members adjust. Jake and I always try to be here for their change though. But for the most part Jacob travels with me because he knows I want to be with my family. He has given up his home for me, just another thing I've taken from him.

Jake kisses me neck. "What are you thinking about? It feels dark." He asks me. I lean into him and frown slightly. "Just about how much you have given up for me. You should be here. You should be the Chief of your people and training the new pups."

He pulls me tighter into him. If it were possible I know I would osmosis with him. "Renesmee I should be by your side always. That's all that matters and it's all that I want. Besides Sam has done a wonderful job has Chief."

"But Sam is old now Jake. I doubt he has many years left. And most of his children have shifted and even one of his grandchildren. You should be here." I can give him this one thing. I can stay here with him and stop chasing my family all over the world. "I think we should move back here for a while. You can take up the reigns for Sam and we can watch over the younger pack members and we can maybe discuss having our own children." I add in at the end.

Jakes smile fades just a bit at the end there. "If you want to move back here for a bit you know I would love that. We built this home ourselves to make it what we want. But Renesmee I am still not sure about children. I cannot risk losing you. If you were to die I would die. You have to understand that."

I shake my head slowly and lean in and kiss his lips softly. "I know that. I would die if something ever happened to you to. But Jacob I want to discuss this when my family comes and see if it's possible. I want to give you children so badly." He just shakes his head and I know this is the most he will talk about it right now. So we sit back and wait for my family to show.

Alice has gone off to watch over her mate. She called me a few weeks ago to let me know that she needed to watch over him. Peter and Charlotte have arranged for her mate and his family to move down to their ranch so they can properly protect him. The man formally known as my father calls to check in with my family but is smart enough not to call me. I think I made my feelings on the matter made quite clear. I will kill him if I see him again unless someone restrains me. I know my mom doesn't want me to kill him but I want too. I don't care if in the future I could forgive him I want him to suffer for what he did to my mom all those years. I saw her and I know what he did. And if given the chance I think I could easily do the same thing to him. He is not allowed on the reservation either. I made Jacob issue an order to his pack that if Edward crosses the line they are to take off his limbs and bring him to me.

"Baby I can feel your stress. You need to calm down. They will be here soon and your mom will be fine. Jasper is watching over her and he won't let anything happen to her." He assures me. I turn around in his arms and kiss his lips. "Why do you think Jasper is willing to do all this for her?"

Jacob starts to laugh. A full from the belly laugh. "Are you that blind sweetheart?" I give him a confused smile and tilt of my head. "He is in love with her."

"He is what?" I stutter out. That just gets a bigger laugh out of him. He leans down and kisses my forehead. "I am not 100 percent sure but I think they are mates. He would do anything for her."

Well shit! I should have seen that one coming. The memory of her purring with his blanket and smell wrapped around her should have clued me into it months ago! "Why hasn't he told her?" I ask him. He should have told her at one point. Hell maybe even now he has. Maybe they are happy together in Ireland. "I don't know why he hasn't told her but I am pretty sure they are. I can see it in them. He looks at her like I look at you and you look at me."

Jacob leans back down and starts to kiss my neck. I push on him and laugh. "Not now Jake! We are waiting for my grandparents and my aunt and uncle." He shrugs his shoulders and steals one more kiss.

I spent the last few days cleaning out the guest rooms of our house. Jacob bought property on the reservation about 30 years ago and we built our dream home on it. It's not polished like Grammy's homes it fits us. It has lots of windows that look out of the forest and the coast. It has lots of exposed beams and the furniture has a nice rustic quality to it. We have plenty of guest rooms but in my heart I hope that someday just one of them will be a nursery. I want to give him our child so badly.

We can both hear the engine of the car miles away. I wait in nervous excitement hoping that its them. The closer the sound gets the more likely it is them. I jump up and down and run outside to great them. Their black Mercedes pulls up to the house and I run to great them.

Emmett and Rosalie are out of the car before I can even blink and Emmett has me pulled into a tight bear hug. "Oh Nessie it is so good to see you." He chokes out. I can tell he would be crying if he could. Rosalie grabs me next and gives me a tight squeeze. "Thank you so much for inviting us. We really needed it."

I wait for Carlisle and Esme to get out of the car. Carlisle gets out of the driver's side and goes the passenger door. He opens it and I can barely hear him talking to Esme. "Come on sweet heart we are at Renesmee's and Jacob's house. Don't you want to see them?" I can't hear her response but he manages to pull to her out of the car.

"Grammy?" I choke up when she gets out. Her hair is a mess, her eyes are pitch black, and she can hardly stand. Before she can fall over Carlisle catches her and pulls her into his arm and carries her into the house. I open the door for them and usher them into the living room. Carlisle gently puts her down on the couch and I bring a blanket to her and cover her up. Her hands shoot out and she grabs my hand gently. Her normally cold fingers are even colder. "I have missed you so much sweet heart." She tells me quietly.

I pull her to me and kiss her forehead. "I missed you too Grammy." I smile at her and just let her hold on to my hand. "You look so much like her Nessie." She says wistfully.

"Mom wouldn't want you to mourn her like this Grammy." I tell her. She smiles sadly at me and shakes her head in agreement. "Are you hungry?" I ask her hoping she will eat. She shakes her head no. I look up at Carlisle. "How long has it been since she has eaten grandpa?"

His eyes darken and his perfect face sets into a frown. "Since your mother... since your mother umm.. passed away." I can't help but gasp. That's been months. I run over to Esme and I bit into my wrist and give it to her. "Eat Grammy."

Esme shakes her head no. "Grammy I said eat." I say more forcefully. She just shakes her head. "Grammy this isn't a request you need to eat now." She latches on to my wrist gently and takes in just a bit of blood. I can feel her drink but I know it's not enough. She stops after only a moment and pulls away. "I can't honey." At least she tried.

"Come on lets get you to your rooms." I tell them all. Carlisle picks Esme up and follows me upstairs. I show them their room and Carlisle takes her inside. I turn around and show Rosalie and Emmett to their room. "Thanks sweetheart." Rosalie tells me.

Jacob grabs my wrist and brings it to his lips. It's already healing and he kisses the bite. "We'll take care of her don't worry." He assures me. I will feed her everyday if I have too.

Rosalie and Emmett drop their stuff off in their room and they come back downstairs to sit with us. "How are you all doing?" I ask knowing it's a stupid question the moment it's out of my mouth. Emmett frowns and Rosalie puts her arm around him. "It has been rough. We are hoping being here helps a bit."

"Well you both must be hungry. Feel free to hunt in the forest and come back when you are full." Rosalie drags Emmett out of the house I can tell he is having a hard time eating just like Grammy. I look up at Jacob and I can feel tears boring into the back of my eyes. "I need to call Aunt Alice." I say softly. He shakes his head in agreement and we head back to the master suite.

I grab my phone and dial Aunt Alice and I just hope she picks up. Lately she has been so focused on William she hasn't been answering her phone. After 5 rings she picks up. "Hello?" She asks kind of confused. That's not like her. "Aunt Alice, it's me Renesmee I need to talk to you."

There is a long pause on her end of the phone. "Renesmee?" She asks back. "Aunt Alice didn't you know I was going to call."

The pause comes back. "To be honest I am so focused on my mate I haven't been watching anyone else, including myself. What's wrong Renesmee."

Jacob is obviously listening and gives me a concerned nod. Aunt Alice is a wreck. I am going to need to figure that out later. "Auntie we have a problem here. Grammy hasn't eaten since mom went with Jasper and is a mess. Grandpa is not much better and Emmett is destroyed. I need to know if I can tell them the truth."

I make the decision to tell them so that Aunt Alice can see the outcome. She is silent for a few minutes at her end. I know she is seeing what is happening. "If you tell them it is safe for now. I can just see a glimpse of a fight years from now no maybe decades from now when everyone meets up again but it's not clear. I see your mother and Jasper with a young woman in a field and the wolves are there so is my William and he is turned. It's muddled Renesmee but it should be safe. We all survive it."

Jacob puts a reassuring arm around me. "Renesmee?" My aunt calls out in the phone. "Yes?" I respond. "Make sure they don't let your father know about your mother until William is turned. I can clearly see that he kills him if they do. I will not survive that." I can hear her heart breaking through the line.

Jacob takes the phone from me. "Alice if need be I will bring down the pack and set up shop in your mates yard if that's what it takes to keep him safe. No one will hurt that boy, not now and not until he is ready to be turned. If you want we can find a way to bring him and his family to the reservation."

Alice chokes up a bit on the phone. I know she would be crying if that was an option for her. In fact I feel choked up. Jacob truly cares about my family. I step up on my toes and kiss his lips softly and give him smile. "Jacob, I don't know how to say thank you. For now he is safe. Peter, Charlotte, and I are taking good care of him. If I ever sense that here is not safe for him I will bring him up immediately. Thank you for that."

"We're family Alice. And this is what family does." Oh he is so getting lucky tonight. I hug him tight to me and purr into him. He knows I'm thrilled. "They might call you later but we are going to sit them down and explain to them what has been happening to Bella."

"Call me if you need me. Good luck and I love you both." Aunt Alice says has she hangs up the phone. Jacob puts the phone on our dresser and wraps his arms around me. "We will keep him safe Nessie."

"I love you so much Jacob Black." I look up at him and smile. "I can't wait until you can look at me and call me Mrs. Black." That gets a big grin out of him and he leans down and kisses me deeply. I hear my Aunt and Uncle come back and that makes me pull back from him. "We need to call my mom to let her know what we are about to do before we talk to them."

Jacobs shakes his head in agreement and hands me the phone. Alice gave me the number once she found it out but I haven't been brave enough to call it yet. I have been so paranoid of my father finding out that I have been afraid to call her. I put the number in and wait for her to hopefully pick up. After three rings a man's voice answers the phone. "Hi, this is David, how can I help ya?" He asks in a thick southern drawl. I guess David is his alias. I roll my eyes at Jacob and laugh. Only took him a few months to go full on country.

"Jasper its Renesmee and Jacob. Is my mom there?" I ask hopefully. I miss her voice so badly. Jasper must be getting my phone because I hear rustling. I can hear him faintly on the other side of the phone. "Darlin' its Renesmee and Jacob. Do you think you can talk to them?" What's wrong over there that she might not be able to talk to me.

"Renesmee?" My mom asks happily. "MOMMY!" I squeal out but not too loudly so they hear me yet. I can't help but start to sob. "Mommy." I say again quietly.

"Oh honey don't cry. I'm here baby. Tell your mommy what's bothering you." That's my mom always worried about me. I bury my head in Jacob's chest for a moment and just bask in her voice. "I just miss you mom that's all."

"I miss you too honey. I think about you all the time. How are you? How is the family?" I take in a deep breath. "Mommy that's why I am calling. Grammy isn't doing well. I asked Aunt Alice and I want to tell them the truth. They are in so much pain and I can't let them go through this any longer."

I can't make out the words but I hear Jasper and my mom talking to each other for a few minutes. "Honey if you think it is best you can tell them. Just don't tell them where we are. I can't see him yet if he finds out."

"I won't mom. Is everything alright over there?" I want to know why Jasper was so worried about her. "Everything is fine honey. We just had a rough day. I found out one my students was being abused but I took care of it."

"Students?" I ask confused. I can feel my mom smile on the phone. "Jasper has let me start teaching here on the island. I teach kindergarten through sixth grade." I hear Jasper faintly on the other side. " I don't let you do anything darlin' you do what you want remember that." I smile at that. He is good for her. Maybe he really is her mate.

"OK mom I am going to tell them they might want to talk to you later. I will give them this number and make sure they know how imperative it is that we keep this a secret. I love you and I miss you mommy."

"Oh honey I miss you too. I love you so much." Then we hang up. I have some business to attend to. I grab Jacob's hand and he squeezes it back. I head out of our room and call out the house. "Family meeting in the living room right now." I call out.

Within moments Rosalie and Emmett are sitting the couch across from Jacob and me. It takes longer but Grammy and Grandpa come out and he nestles her in his lap and keeps an arm around her. I grab Jacob's hand again for support and give him a weak smile. "We need to talk about something. And I need you all to stay calm until I am done."

a/n

I am so sooooooorrrrrrrryyyyyyyy it took me so long to post. Life has been crazy for me these last few months but I have time again so I will be posting more regularly again. Again I am sorry it took me so long and I hope you liked it!


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